advise on how to wean my 12 month old from breastfeeding to cows milk?

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Hi , Ive been breastfeeding my LO for just over a year and am now thinking its time to wean her, Ive never been able to introduce a botte as she has never liked them so Im trying to ibtroduce cows milk in a cup instead. My problem is that my LO still feeds quite alot and sometimes prefers a bf fed to solid food especially when her teeth are bothering her or if she has a cold. I know it wont happen over night but was hoping for some advise on how to tackle this, I was hoping to have her completely weaned by end of april. Is this realistic? Please any advise would be a help :)

It's perfectly fine for her to prefer BM over food much of the time so if this is your concern then it's ok :) Sometimes they'll go a few days with only having BM and that's just fine. It's very healthy and very good for her. If she's ill she's getting the nutrition she would otherwise be missing out on (as she'd be unlikely to be eating much if there was no BM) plus she's getting the antibodies for whatever bug she has. Also she's being comforted while she's feeling unwell in the most special way. If she's teething she's getting the natural analgesic which is very effective and minimises the need for drugs. It's all good :)

If you want to wean, though, for other reasons, some people find that never offering, but never refusing either (within limits as at this age you can start to say no from time to time) can help. Or, by starting to restrict breastfeeds to specific times of day, say morning, lunch and night (or whenever suits you).

The path you take will depend on her reaction and it's fine to try one path, then change it if it's too stressful for her.

Well Ive tried to say no but she gets really upset and I find it heartbreaking so I end up giving in ,I love breastfeeding and Im sort of sad that it will end but at the same time I think now is the time to start weaning as my partner and I want to start trying for no 2 in may/june and I dont want to be bf while pregnant ( I know you can, but I think it would be harder to wean if I have a small baby breastfeeding as it wouldnt seem fair her not being allowed any and the baby is) She has a cold at the moment so im not even trying to cut it down just yet as shes off her food and I feel better that she is at least having BM , do you have any advise or tips on how to cut down feeds? Should I offer her a drink of water/juice instead during the day and just slowly cut down the amount of feeds she has, she tends to have on first thing in the morning and then about 11.30 when she has a nap and then another about 5pm and then her night feed as I get her to sleep at 7, but she does wake every 1 to 3 hours throughout the night for feeds too ( oh how I wish she'd sleep all night! haha)

can i just saythat i bfed first until past two and fed until her sister was born at age 3 and she gave up just like that. i worried like you but it was fine

Really?? It has been in the back of my mind , but a few of my friends who bf and bottle fed their babies their babes weaned themselves at 10 months so I was hoping my LO would do the same as it wasnt stressful at all they just seemed to loose interest, but I have never given my LO a bottle I tried expressing and giving it to her in a bottle but she had no idea what to do with it , because of this though I havent been able to go out for long without her as she will need a feed :(

You've done a brilliant thing for your daughter and you should be very proud :) Babies don't self-wean at 10 months but they can seem to do so if feeds are artificially reduced.

You can certainly try offering her different drinks and/or snacks, or distract her. That's all fine :) And can be a great way to cope with a child whose BFing demands are getting too much. Saying that, there is quite a lot of time between now and May/June and she's likely to naturally be moving to more solids/less milk by then anyway.

As you say, it's perfectly fine to BF while pregnant (I am) although it can be quite painful. On the other hand while pregnant one's milk tends to reduce which can encourage self-weaning. But it might not :)

So yes, distraction and offering alternatives are a good option but if she's getting upset it's generally considered best to just go ahead and feed her, and try again next time. BFing is important to her and it won't stop overnight, but this can be done and you have time :)

I agree with Otcha, I fed my son until he was just over 2. I, like you, thought I should probably think about weaning him sooner, but the time wasn't right for him (or me I suppose if I'm being really honest). I went back to work when he was a year so his feeds went down to morning, bedtime and through the night just because they had to (I never managed the expressing thing and my son never had bottles). Then at some point we phased out the morning one leaving bed time and night time so it was only those we had to contend with by the end. It was difficult at times for me feeding while pregnant tbh as I was extremely sick for the first few months and it could be very painful at times. However it was totally do-able and the timing just fitted. I feel really happy that my son got what he needed for as long as he needed it. The transition was easier than i had imagined i think because we were both ready. If you feel like it's time because you've had enough that's totally understandable but I wouldn't worry about rushing it for other reasons if you think the time isn't right for your daughter and you're happy to continue.

I stopped my eldest at 13 months, I just told her " it's gone" every time she asked and she forgot about it in a couple of days. Night times were worse because she used to feed to sleep but I think they do adjust quite quickly. Never had a bottle either and was fine with tippy cup. Think I was more upset than her :(

Thanks so much for you help and advise ladies :) I'll take everything on board. I dont feel as stressed out about it now, I think I'll wait till shes over her current cold and maybe try to reduce her feeding during the day and stick to mornings and nights and if that goes ok I'll see if I can cut out the morning on too. The night feed will be the hardest as thats how I get her to sleep, but Im not going to rush it I'll take it as it comes and if she doesnt take it too well I'll slow it down to cutting one feed out a week or something like that. Ive just bought a tommee tippee explorer cup with a value in it so I might try her with a small amount of warm cows milk in that and see how she gets on :D

Thanks again x

Valve nt value :P

When DS reached 12 months I started giving him (room temperature) cow's milk in a cup once a day. He was already used to drinking water from a cup and took to it very quickly.
He's 16 months now and I still bf him at nap time and bedtime but I don't think it would be too difficult to swap these for cow's milk as he likes his afternoon cup of milk. I don't want to stop until he's got all his teeth though (5 more to come) as it's the only pain relief that works for him when they're really sore.
They're all different though so we just have to muddle through as best we can!

That sounds like a good idea :) I keep forgetting about the pain relife , we only have 5 teeth theres still alot to come but she has been getting them all at once, the last 3 teeth came together in the space of a week and theres another 2 ready to come any day now!