BF for comfort

[fhdl34]

My DD is 9 days old and I'm exclusively breastfeeding. Over the last few days, she often roots on waking but doesn't necessarily want a full feed. Last night, I fed her before bed, put her down and she woke practically straightaway wanting the breast but when I put her on, she's feeds for 1-2 minutes and then falls asleep. She won't let me rock her to sleep or soothe her, she just wants the booby but doesn't take a full feed. This happened a few times last night. I wouldn't mind if it settled her to sleep but it doesn't. My DH ends up taking her to soothe her to sleep, which I also don't mind, but I just wondered if anyone else had had this problem and what I could do to combat it. I don't feel bad that I can't soothe her like he can because he can't breastfeed like I can but I do think I should be able to do it but she just wants the milk with me.
My midwife suggested making her a wait a little while to see if she calms without the boob but if I'm holding her, she doesn't.
My only issue with putting her on for 1-2 minutes is that my breast isn't emptying properly and I'm more likely to get blockages.
Sometimes I have to hand express a little during feeds as the flow seems to stop. A full feed usually takes anything between 15-30 minutes.

Congratulations on your new baby girl!

'Feeding' for comfort is normal and, in my opinion, one of the best things about bfing. If baby is crying/fussing and you can't work out why, bfing (it's nursing really not feeding) often gets them calm while you work out what's wrong (full nappy, cold, hot, label sticking in them, tired, etc). Even if you can't work out what's wrong, guess what?, they have stopped crying

You don't need to 'empty' your breast everytime she feeds (it's a physical impossibility for a start as all the ducts are at different stages in milk production - bit like a factory staggering their production lines so all the finished goods don't come off the line at the same time) and you shouldn't get blockages (I assume you mean plugged ducts?) from short nursing sessions.

If she wants to comfort nurse she will use a different type of suckling called 'non-nutritive suckling' and get very little milk but her body will release endorphins and oxytocin from her suckling which will help to soothe her as will your physical presence, your scent, your warmth and your heartbeat.

She is probably settling with your OH because she is getting his scent, his heartbeat, his warmth and that is soothing her but there is no trigger for her to nurse so she doesn't ask to. You can't change her biological need to nurse from her mum so it might be easier to accept that you soothing her at this young age involves her suckling but with her dad it doesn't.

Breast compressions can help if your baby slows down quickly into a feed and there are concerns about her weight/milk intake/lack of wet or dirty nappies but if there isn't it could be a bit of a faff to do at every feed.

Thanks Truthsweet. I don't mind putting her on for a couple of minutes but it only soothes her as long as she's with me, as soon as you put her back in her crib she's awake again. It's just hard when you want to go to bed and co-sleeping isn't an option for us plus even if it was, I don't want to do it as I wouldn't be able to relax.
Last night we put the radio on for her and she stayed down so that'll be our last resort if it happens again.
My brother was a baby that couldn't be put down, my parents had to eat in shifts and I really don't want to that for our child but it's early days so I'll keep on as I have been doing and hope that's not the road we're heading down.

If you wait until she is deeply asleep, it will be easier to put her down in the cot, or you could try feeding her on a flannelette sheet (warmer than a normal cotton sheet) and transferring her into the cot on the sheet so 'cold sheet shock' doesn't wake her up.

Congratulations

Just wanted to add that I didn't want to co sleep either but for the first few weeks I did a bit just to get some sleep. My DD is only 10 weeks now and is happy to sleep in her crib but still sometimes I bring her to bed with me to get her to sleep. I go to bed early and then DH will come half an hour later and put her to bed if I've fallen asleep.
She is very keen on being held and comfort nursing and we just went with it on the theory that we would be giving her the confidence that the world is a loving place and we are there for her if she needs us.

I comfort nurse my son too - he's 5 weeks old. It often helps if I unlatch him then keep close hold of him, getting him to rest his chin on my breast. This helps soothe him as there is still the smell of milk and closes his mouth for him so it doesn't feel empty. I then wait until he's sleeping soundly before putting him down.

I have to say though that sometimes it doesn't work and there have been many occaisions where I have spent hours nursing but just kept telling myself that he has to sleep sometime!!

Good luck

Truthsweet She goes to bed in a grobag which I had been putting her into after finishing the feed so that she wasn't too snugly during the feed and therefore fell asleep but I might put her in it first so I'm not disturbing her after the feed. I had assumed that when she was in REM sleep that was the deepest sleep but then I read that it's when they sleep lightest.

alottotakein and flippingstupidnickname - I think I have to wait until she's in a deeper sleep, I couldn't de-latch her, sometimes she falls off in her sleep and will relatch herself on plus she sort of panics when she can't latch on quick enough.

I might look into the co-sleeping thing. DH goes back to work next week and he's not going to be able to function effectively if he's the one who has to soothe her back to sleep after every feed.

we had the same problem.
tried to doit the way the book says, nursing then puttting her back in the cot. she didn't like that.
so we co-sleep now.
much easier, an i've learned to nurse while i'm lying down too, so i don't have to faff about.
dh is much better at soothing her, obv for the same reason- he doesn't trigger her needing to suckle.
DD is 4 weeks today., and DH has been back at work a week, so really can't be up all night with her screaming.
if it works, do it :)

They have a fair few growth spurts in the first six weeks so comfort sucking helps this. Also it's great if they get overtired - boob will calm them down.

We have a baby which requires eating dinner in shifts - same as DS. It does get easier as they get older I promise and after time we had our evenings back (I remember missing DS once he settled at bedtime!)

Congratulations!
I wouldn't worry about it - mine used to do that all the time. I was advised (probably on here so thank you very much!) that the pauses in feeding when she's still latched on aren't really her falling asleep, they're just pauses while she works out whether she's full or not. You could try leaving her attached until she comes off the breast on her own, or reattaching her until she doesn't latch on anymore and is properly unconscious!

"Three in a Bed" by Deborah Jackson plus various books and the website by Dr William Sears are the best resources, I believe, on making an informed decision about bed sharing.

It doesn't work for everyone but it can be fabulous if you feel it's right for you. I know you've said it's not - but that you'll look into it - I'm not trying to change your mind :)

Side-along cots are an alternative, and realistically if you've only got a normal sized double bed they do offer that extra space that you will probably need as she gets bigger.

I've gone from desperately being against bed sharing (and having DS in a cot in his own room from 2 weeks old which will probably shock anyone who follows my posts) to begrudgingly starting it with DS2, who was like yours, to very quickly loving it (as does DH) and planning to bed share with DC3 whether they like it or not . "Three in a Bed" was a huge help to me as it explained the biological reasons why it's not only safe, but safER when done properly than separate sleeping, and why most babies in the world do bed share. It also explained downsides and was very balanced.

Well I put her down after her last feed in her little chair which she sometimes settles in and sometimes doesn't but this time I put her down with the muslin I used whilst feeding and she's only just started stirring 2hrs later. Don't want to get ahead of myself but am wondering if I've found the key to her sleeping perfectly forever more!!! (okay, I've skipped, hopped, jumped and leaped ahead of myself there but I got a lovely nap out of it!).
Will try it again tonight and see if it works. Would love not to rely on the radio for a 3rd night in a row as I can see that suddenly stopping working and then we're fully reliant on DH and his master soothing skills again.
Thanks for all the advice, it's so good to know that there is some support out there.