Absolutely shattered :(

[CrazyAlien06]

Hi I'm ebf my 4 month old and am exhausted as she is feeding every 2 hrs in the day then sleeps 7-12 then nurses every 2-3 hrs again.
I am dead on my feet and not sure how much longer I can carry on with this.

I can't co sleep.

I know it's exhausting etc but I think I'm doing something wrong as every person/book etc I come across says she should be sleeping more at night.

Should I keep her up and put her to bed later?

She grunts and squirms like crazy in her sleep and that keeps me up all night too so I'm getting about one hrs solid sleep a night :(

I'm going to make an appointment with a cranial osteopath to see if they can help with the grunting ..
Any advice would be super!!

Oh and I don't have any family close by that can help :(

Hi, Crazy. Hope you're OK. There's few people awake because of all the storms tonight!

Can you not co-sleep because of your baby's grunts and squirms or is there another reason?

When I was bf my DS it was the only way I got any rest. I would kind of 'light sleep' when I was feeding him at that age, at these lonely early morning hours.

Hi Crazy,

No great solutions I'm afraid but just wanted you to know you're certainly not alone! I'm sitting here with my 5 month old draped over my shoulder....I know exactly what you mean about assuming I must be doing something wrong. Especially as this is my DC2, and his brother was unfortunately exactly the same!

In my experience, moving to a later bedtime doesn't really help alas. There are lots of sites out there which explain baby sleep patterns, but essentially their longest period of sleep is the initial one (your 7-12 stretch) and after that they wake up more frequently.

Occasionally are you able to go to bed when your DC does, ie at 7pm? Anti social I know, but then at least once in a while you get a 5 hour stretch. Which in our state, makes you feel quite high!

Also do you have a DP/DH on the scene who could maybe give a bottle of expressed every so often to give you a rest? (I'm being hypocritical here, because I don't do this- I do all the night feeds for mine. Oh and my DC wouldn't take a bottle until 2 week ago, the little darling, but that's a whole other topic)

During the day, sod the housework etc, just do what you need to to get by. Lie down when your baby naps, even if like mine it's only for 30 mins at a time at the moment. Even if you don't sleep, you're resting.

It does (eventually) get better as they get older and bigger, I promise. I know that doesn't help much right now when you're in the middle of it. Sometimes I am almost crying with tiredness at crazy o'clock, and you genuinely think "I can't do this".....but you have to, and somehow you do.

Thank god they're cute, is all I can say :)

Hi just handing out sympathy and hoping you are getting some sleep right now. The exhaustion can be overwhelming make sure you are getting food,water, vitamins and sitting/lying down as much as you can even if you can't sleep. That and the baby is all you should concentrate on right now, if it all possible. Do you have anyone at all to support you? Health visitor/ breastfeeding counsellor maybe for a chat in case there is a physical issue? No expert but your baby sounds normal to me and I am sure you are doing everything right, baby hasn't read the books and is following her natural instinct to keep mum close and delicious food on tap.

TBH I am still like this with my 1 yr old but my lifesaver has been a) cosleeping and b) DH doing mornings and letting me lie in. I have a friend who couldn't though, she found the baby noises too disturbing and had him in another room from day1, had her mum or DH to bring baby when he was hungry though.

Hope the osteopathy helps as well.

Hi thanks for the replies.here I am again with her....
Can't co sleep as DH is huge and a proper wriggler so she wouldn't be safe. :(

DH won't do bottles so that's a no and I have to do all the housework as its expected. Food wise I rarely have energy to cook anything.
When she sleeps 7-12 I can't switch off so don't get any extra sleep :(

Health visitors are crap round here

"DH won't do bottles"

Do you mean he w

On't use them to feed your DD or he won't let her have one?! Either which way, I think I'd have a conversation about that. If you dOn't want to, that's fine. But until he has breasts and does it all, I'm not sure it's his call.

(I feel your sleep dePrived pain though. Currently feeding DS who'se been chomping foran hour!)

Just wanted to add you're really not alone. My DD2 is feeding every 2 hours day and night at the moment. Just on 7th wake up of the night - managed to not feed for two of these though! She also only naps for 30 mins at a time in the day unless I wear her and I have a tantrummy 2.10 year old as well who has woken 3 times tonight too. It's unbelievably hard.
There is a growth spurt at 4 months so it could be that? Don't think you're doing anything wrong though - at least she's sleeping well the first part of the night.

How would you feel about putting baby on her own room? At least the sleep you do get would be better quality.

Do you have another room with a bed? Can you suggest that DH sleeps there for a while so you can bring the baby in to bed with you once she starts waking?

Loss of appetite and inability to sleep are indicators of PND so please please talk to your DH (I assume it was a joint decision to have a baby therefore he needs to do his share) and discuss with your health visitor or GP if you're feeling very down.

It does pass (DD2 just slept for 8 hours - yay!)

Hi Crazy

Your 4 month old sounds very normal to me. My now 6 monther and my older son were exactly the same.

However, it doesn't sound like you're getting much support from your DH. He "won't do bottles" and housework is "expected"? Do you feel up to chatting a bit more about his attitudes to all of this?

In the meantime - hugs. My DH slept 7-7 this week (only once mind ) so there is hope.

Not DH, DD obviously! Although DH would given half a chance...

We moved DH to the guest room too as our big bed really isn't big enough for the 3 of us once DD decided sideways is how she wants to sleep. We've also moved her cot back to our room because she is no longer happy on her own. (She's 9mo so classic separation anxiety). I think what I'm saying is it's easier trying to alter your living arrangement than changing your baby. At 9mo, she alters between waking once at 12-2am, or every 3 hours from around midnight. So she sounds like your LO when she's in her latter behaviour. She also eats very very frequently. She has either bf or solids now every 2-3 hours during the day! Solids is a curse and a blessing because it means I need to get out of bed at 8am to give her breakfast when DH is at work. (Instead of lying on the bed to bf). But in the weekends, I can hand her over to DH and then sleep till midday, because DH can give her breakfast and morning snack.

DH also does the bath, nappies if he's around and the cooking if I'm exhausted (though it sometimes take him an hour to cook a meal that takes me 15min)!

I don't think you've done anything wrong. You just have a high needs baby. What can your DH do to help? We don't have family around either.

No advice really, just wanted to add that you're not alone! I was on a right downer last week and posted on here and just knowing that so many other people have high needs babies and it isn't something I've done was a real comfort to me.

My DS is just like yours, sleeps from 7 till 12 and then awake every 1-2 hours after that. I have been going to bed at 7 every night this week, its the only way I can survive!

Hi, with the grunting and squirming keeping you awake, have you tried earplugs? I've worn them for years due to DH's snoring, and was a bit nervous about carrying on using them when DS was tiny, but they don't block everything out & you will hear your DD if she wakes up & needs you.