Hideous bf first time round (oversupply?), scared of a repeat!

[Flowerface]

DD is now 2 and I am 6 months pregnant. She was exclusively BF - I ended up feeding until she was about 14 months. But at the beginning, it was really awful. The latch was apparently perfect and first of all she gained weight well. But after a couple of weeks she would only latch on for about three minutes before coming off screaming, and then would scream inconsolably for HOURS while my milk jetted across the room. Initially I never went out, the HV had no useful advice, the doctor found nothing wrong. Infacol, infant Gaviscon and Colief all did exactly nothing. She didn't have reflux and wasn't 'sicky'. Some days she didn't have one single proper feed, would cry for over 12 hours, and started 'failing to thrive'. It improved after about 3 months but persisted a bit until 6. She never would take a bottle of expressed milk.

Anyway, I am basically terrified that this will happen again. I am not sure how I would cope with it with a toddler in tow as well, the whole thing nearly had me pleading for admission to hospital I was so exhausted and depressed. I really would like to BF again, though, partially because it's so easy when it works...

So basically, has anyone had problems like this? Did they recur with subsequent babies? And what can I do about it?!

Thanks!!

Wow, that does sound really stressful .

I know from lurking on here that people have had massively different experiences with siblings but sorry Í have no experience personally.

Have you got a La Leche group or similar breastfeeding support locally? IME they are really welcoming of pregnant women to meetings and may be able to help you put together a plan if you have any issues this time round. I think support is the key to overcoming a lot of bf issues and it is so much easier to go to a known face, if you need help.

I had pretty cruddy support, but I guess part of the problem was that I didn't know where to look. There is a breastfeeding group but I was too scared ever to go...

Flowerface I had a similar experience with ds. He never got to ftt was just slow to gain and had bad latch to start with too. I fed him to 17 months as he wouldn't take a bottle either.

I was similarly very worried about how it would go with no.2. Anyway I can safely say it has been very different. I did still have oversupply but dd (now 7 months) has managed to handle it largely quite well. She did refuse a bottle for a while but we persevered and she now switches easily (I am back at work so she needs to). If you can try and go into it with the thought that it will be different. I fed a lot lying down or reclining back to start with to ease the over-supply and dd adjusted as she got bigger - I was also much less scared of repositioning her in case she didn't latch again as ds often wouldn't.

Good luck I'm sure more people will be along with positive stories. I'm not in the UK so don't know how it works but maybe you could speak to someone before you give birth?

I have been to a few different groups and honestly all the women running them have been absolutely lovely and non-judgemental and welcoming - I'd move in if I could! No-one is going to be rolling their eyes and thinking, "Here comes another one who is crap at breastfeeding." They really want to help people.

Is there a number you could ring for info which might feel like a half way step? Or you could ask on here if anyone has been to that particular group and what it was like?

You can search for local groups here and it has the phone numbers of the helplines. Can be hard to get through to the La Leche one but NCT has given me really good support too.

Of course your midwife should be able to help too but depends how over stretched they are, so you need to set up your own support network. Please think about starting to do that this week .

I will ask my midwife next time I see her. IME all HVs and MWs are tuned in to is latch. If that is OK they assume everything is unproblematic, which it definitely wasn't! I know there is a group here, but I understand that it is more of a social thing, and I am not really mad on the idea of dragging a screaming baby and a tempestuous toddler into a roomful of women so that I can shoot them all in the eye with milk... I really couldn't have done it the first time round and not sure I can this one. I fed in front of HV and she didn't have anything useful to say (I have a burning resentment towards my HV - can you tell?!?)

I find it a particularly frustrating problem to have because you can guarantee that, if you say you have oversupply, people will say "ooh, lucky you".

People can be really tactless can't they? My ds stopped putting on weight and actually lost a little at 1 yr and I was saying this to another mother recently, he'd been in the same clothes for nearly 9 months and she said the same thing ie I hadn't had to spend money on new clothes! Er, I'd rather he was putting on weight actually! I think its hard to see beyond your own worries as her ds is rather overweight so probably sounded good to her.

Totally agree about latch fixation. They watch you do one feed and its all fine. What I like about La Leche is that it is more about the whole experience, how baby is behaving, how you are coping, feeling confident, knowing what to expect at the next stage, what other babies do.

If you get friendly with a group leader they may be happy to do an unofficial home visit once your dc2 is here, that is why it is worth getting to know them now. It could really help if you could work out what happened last time to sort of put it to rest if you see what I mean.

Have you read the Kellymom stuff on oversupply? Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is really good too.

The Kellymon stuff is helpful. I did end up block feeding and feeding lying down a lot, and I think that did end up helping. Though I was quite hermit-like the first time, which I won't be able to be with this baby, with an energetic toddler to entertain as well.