Have to BF DD to sleep but she wakes EVERY TWO HOURS (10m)

[OPeaches]

I posted this in 'Sleep' earlier, so apologies if you've already seen it. It's very quiet over there though - perhaps everyone is too tired to type?

DD is amost 10 months old. She is easy to put to sleep at night - I breastfeed her until she's sleeping and then put her in her bed. The problem is that I've stupidly trained her to only be able to go to sleep on the boob. She wakes up every 2 hours through the night and cries if I don't go through and feed her back to sleep. If I don't feed her she'll scream for up to two hours until she passes out with exhaustion. She won't take a dummy, I've been trying for a few weeks to get her to take one.

I should probably add - until she was 4 months old DD was a great sleeper. She'd go down at 7:30, wake once at 2:30 a.m. then sleep until 6:00 or 6:30. From 4 months it all started to go downhill. I thought it was maybe a phase (4 month sleep regression) and hoped it would resolve itself. Instead, I've just let bad habits become totally entrenched. I'm SHIT at this sleeping thing . DS was a rubbish sleeper too, although was better than DD by this age.

How do I get us out of this mess? I don't want to try the CIO method. I'm soooooooooo frickin' tired!

I just wanted to say my LO the same! We co sleep so that helps a bit. Is hat something you could think about doing?
In a few months i'm going to try Dr Jay Gordon he says you need to wait until about 13 months to do it however.
Have you read No cry sleep solutions ? I found it helpful for naps.

Oh and to add finally You are not shit! You might be tired and frustrated but you are not shit!

I coslept with DS full time at this age, I had no choice, he was the same as your DD. (He was also a great sleeper til 4m when we tried to move him from the moses basket to the cot)

At 11m he suddenly decided he would take a dummy, night-weaned and slept through the whole night. I didnt do anything different, but it was the same day that he properly walked (he walked before, but it was the first day that all he did was walk)

So I dont have advice exactly but it may well pass on its own :)

On my goodness - I could have written your post to the letter. Big brother bad sleeper - check; good sleeper until 4 months - check; bf to sleep - check; up 2 hourly and needs bf'ing back to sleep - check; won't take a dummy - check. All except ds is 7 months, not 10 months.

I think if I co-slept it would be better, but I don't want to (I sleep very badly when we do and am paranoid about smothering him).

My experience with ds1 tells me he'll get better when he's good and ready, but I am finding it hard to cope on so little sleep. I really thought id got a sleeper this time round too! From 8 to about 20 weeks I slept (7-7) and was super-mummy. Now I'm tired and getting hugely fed up.

I read the no cry sleep solution with ds1. It's got some good ideas and I found it generally helpful and positive.

No advice but wanted to say you're not alone. And I think it will get better when they are ready I've found changing my attitude to it (accepting it's normal for him, he needs the comfort, etc) has helped, rather than thinking it's me. It's not us, I'm quite sure of that.

ds was exactly the same at this age. fed to sleep, woke lots. i started to get lots of comments about how it was my fault for not training him to sleep.

but, from around 14mo he started to fall asleep by himself (fed him earlier, sang to him and rocked him initially, then progressed to stories). he still woke lots though! but, at 18mo all his teeth finished coming through and he started to sleep through all night (7-6) by himself. at 3yo he's a great sleeper now.

i think it's easy to believe your baby's sleep habits are down to you - your sleep training or your 'bad habits'. i reckon though for most babies what you do actually doesn't make a lot of difference! they all sleep through eventually.

I'm another one who could have written your post, apart from the period of being a good sleeper. (in fact, I think I did post something similar). DD is now 11 months. The last 2 nights she has only woken 3 times though, so maybe it's the start of an improvement.
I constantly waver between thinking we should try CC or give her more time. I'm coping for now, so hoping things will improve by themselves.
I know she will sleep well on Thursday because we've cancelled plans we made in July to go out to a cincert for DH's birthday because she was waking all evening the last couple of months.

You need to work on her ability to self-soothe. Put her down in her cot before she's entirely asleep - just drowsy. Let her work on the final bit herself. It'll take a few attempts- a few hours maybe - but persist. If she cries, talk gently to her to reassure her /stroke her. If she can't be soothed in that way, pick her up and start again (get her drowsy, put her down) etc. This will help her to not need you every time she wakes up (like we also do, and 'soothe' ourselves by fluffing our pillows etc). And yes, do read the No Cry Sleep Solution.

Sorry I can't give any advice but does it help to know my DTs are the same? I thought it was just about to improve before Christmas but then they got unsettled. Now its colds and teething so I am exhausted as I can't even feed back to sleep. I got the no cry book out again last night to come up with a plan. If I have any bright ideas will post again.

This was me! I am just starting to see some improvement now. Last night she slept from 7-5! Longest ever!

I started to do her final feed down stairs with the lights and tv on. Then I took her up stairs for a quiet story and then put her in her cot awake. If she cried a lot a rocked her, now I can usually just put her down. I also night weaned and made sure I got her up and back down stairs for her first feed in the morning so she knows it's not the night. 2 naps in the day, no later than 3 and no longer than an hour and a half.

Thank you everyone. I've read No Cry Sleep Solution, but can't actually remember what I read/decided - head too fuzzy. Will dig it out and re-read it tonight.
DD has all 4 top teeth coming in so maybe now isn't the time to try to change anything. Mind you, there's always something - teething, cold, going away for a night. sigh
Maybe I should just do nothing and blindly hope for the best.

No advice - my DD is exactly the same. I co-sleep with her as it is the only chance I have of getting some sleep. I have absolutely no idea how I am going to break the 'breastfeeding to sleep' habit, plus in the day she will only sleep when in her stroller, outside, being walked. I will be watching this for tips! In the meantime you have my sympathies.....

My DD2 was exactly the same, waking 5 times a night at least, I was on my knees with exhaustion! Then, just like someone said above suddenly at 11 months it went down to 2 times a night and within a few weeks she was sleeping through. I have no idea what changed, it just did. Hang in there!

TheFowlAndThePussycat, I think I'll just do nothing and hope my DD does the same as yours.