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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Bfing DC2 after not managing with DC1....how to deal with guilty feelings

1 reply

pipoca · 03/01/2012 15:24

DS (3.9) was born at via ventouse, all bruised and battered at 36 wks, weighing under 5lbs and jaundiced. There isn't much help with bf here in Spain, and although I did my best, he never really latched on and bf ultimately failed at 8 weeks. I don't think he even really opened his eyes for the first month. He had formula in hospital and took 5 days before he latched on and my milk took about 6 days to come in. I tried to bf at every feed, but was advised to top up every feed with formula cos of worries about weight, so I'd try both sides and when he got upset, give formula. I was told he had to be weighed every day and if he lost at all for 4 days running would have to go back to hospital, so i wasn't willing (or supported to) do anything but top up. I don't really know how much bm he got..he definitely got some but when I stopped at 8 wks i didn't get particularly engorged..a bit sore for one day and then it all melted away IYSWIM?
Fast forward 3 years and DD was born at 39 wks..natural birth and latched on in the delivery suite like a pro. She just seemed to know what to do and has only ever had about 5 little tastes of formula when I got fed up a few times (but didn't like it, so that put paid to that). She's now nearly 8 mo and still ebf.
I was reading the analytical armadillo today about the wonders of bm and I'm thrilled to be giving that to her, but it makes me feel a bit guilty that I gave up with DS and don't know how much benefit he got from it, having been mix fed in that time.
It's not distressing me terribly or anything but I do feel bad about it. Has anyone else had a similar experience? How do you deal with it? Also, does anyone know how much benefit (if any) DS would have got from his paltry amount of bm?

OP posts:
calamityboo · 03/01/2012 15:50

Hiya, please dont feel bad, any is better than none at all. I was the opposite, ds1 now 14, was born when i was quite young and didnt know what i was doing, good job he did!! latched straight on, didnt have an issue, bf for 4 months. Ds2, now 2 years old, not having any of it, thought my nips may have been mustard flavoured, he baulked at the very thought. I was extremely distressed as it never crossed my mind i may not be able to bf, and was desperate to, i wondered how on earth i could bond with him if he didnt 'need' me IYSWIM. i very quickly realised that we bonded any way and love him all the same bf or not bf. Hope that helps

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