Refusing to feed :-(

[dribbleface]

Hi,

bit of background EBF DS2 until 9 weeks, was very very fussy feeder, cried alot at breast. Failed to gain weight sufficiently, doctor advised to give formula top ups. Within 2 weeks DS2 was increasingly difficult to breat feed so i gave up (a decision i now bitterly regret but thats a whole new thread).

Now 13 weeks and still hates feeding, cried. I have tried all the tricks (different flow teat, different bottle, infacol, comfort milk, feeding less more often, feeding more less often etc). He is gainign weight but at a very slow rate, has dropped from 50th to below 9th line. Saw HV at 11 weeks who just kept repeating, you need to feed him more.......with no suggetions on how i might achieve this.

but..........he is a happy boy apart from when i feed him, he sleeps well and is a little sweetheart.

I'm desperate, why won't he feed. He has around 24 ounces a day (and thats a struggle, if i just wait till he asks for it it can be hours and hours and then he'll only have a few ounces in the whole day). I'm spending more and more time in tears trying to find an answer. Should i see my GP? or call HV? but he's so happy i feel like a fraud. My family thinks i'm neurotic, had PND with DS1 and i'm sure they think its creeping back in, i don't think it is I'm just desperate for my little man to feed well.

Any thoughts or suggestions? Thanks

excuse typo's rushing before the feeding drama's start again and trying to give poor DS1 some attention

If he is not gaining enough weight, I would go see the GP to have a chat. It's great that DS2 is a happy boy most of the time and a visit to the GP won't change that :)

In case you haven't tried it already, does he feed better when he is not distracted? In the dark? Cold or warm milk?

Shmumty I think i love you!!!!!!!!!! Tried cold milk (well colder than usual not icy cold ) and he had 2 x 6 ounce bottles last night and 2 x 6 ounce bottles again so far...........could be a fluke but thats still 24 ounces of milk he wouldn't have had! Thanks

Have you considered reflux or silent reflux? I would second a visit to the GP - HVs can be helpful, but often aren't the best place to go for a problem. Sounds very stressful, hope you find an answer soon.

lukewarmMulledWhine (loving the name) I did think about reflux but he settles well after feeding, happy to be laid flat, DS1 had reflux (quivering at the memory!). Will chat to GP if the current improvement doesn't continue. It has been very stressful, but I feel a bit calmer today after a good couple of feeds. Thanks

Could he be allergic to something in the milk? Or have lactose intolerance? Def go to gp xx

LB1983 I did wonder that but have read that lactose intolerance is rare? Comfort milk has a lower lactose content so i wonder if thats why it helps. Will see GP

Very rare yes, but I've met two people since I've become a mum who both had similar issues to yourself and it took ages for a diagnosis of allergy to something in the milk & lactose intolerance. The one lady I know was beside herself with worry due to weight loss, and LO just point blank refusing milk. It's stuck in my mind, that why I mentioned it- hopefully it isn't anything too serious xx

thanks that's interesting. fingers crossed he's just a monster but an allergy or intolerance wouldn't be that surprising as i have a nut allergy my dh has excema and ds1 one has both plus asthma.

my dd was like this! she never even up to the age of 6mths took more than 24oz in a day and i tried everything, it just seemed to be totally random tho, some times she would take her milk fine, other times it was a complete battle, she eventually grew out of it but never really had more than 4oz at a time, occasionally 5oz, she is now 12mths and has 4 bottles of 4oz a day and takes them happily!

things that i tried, changing teats, changing temp of milk, she likes it slightly warmer than recomended! feeding her when she was sat in her carseat watching tv walking around and rocking her whilst feeding, doing it with no distractions, feeding her when sleepy etc.

i took my dd to the gp a few times nad felt a total fraud as she was and still is anotherwise very happy easy going baby, she just didnt like her milk!

i still managed to get to 6mths without weaning her as she continued to gain weight and was actually big! she does however LOVE food and hasnt refused anything yet and once she was on solids i would mix some formula in her food to get more in that way, also gave her cheese, natural yogurt etc.
i dont know what exactly changed but i do know that when we were on holiday this summer and she was 8-9mths ish? she seemed to get better taking her milk, she still had fussy moments but in general she was much happier and would feed even with distractions etc and i cant remember her fussing with a bottle since she was 10mtsh or so?

she doesnt seem to have an allergies at all so far (touch wood as i do) and is still a very happy content little girl.

try not to stress and see if he can have a thorough check up with a paed to rule out any intolerance or allergies. fingers crossed you find something out or he grows out of it, it is very stressful xx

Thanks all.

DH finally convinced me to use comfort milk (bit colder than usual) for all feeds for a day or so. After one night he was much better, had all the bottles the next day! and again today, first bottle of the day is a bit of a struggle but so far so good. either way he has had good amount of milk for a day or so, which has pleased me!

Long may it continue (DH is all smug now, so he should be, but dont' tell him i said that!)