is it really worth it?

[MrsCLH]

Ds is 14 weeks old and ebf. The last 2 nights he's been up at least 4 times. I feed him back to sleep every time, nothing else works. He wont nap during the day unless I rock him to sleep and even then I cant put him down. The only other way he'll nap is out in the pram. I am exhausted. Sil came to take him for a walk this afternoon so I got in my pj's, got all snuggled in, what bliss, thought I might even get 2 hours. 20 mins later they're back and he's screaming. Nothing will settle him but feeding. He's been awake since 6.30 and its now 4pm and he's slept for about 40 mins. No one else can feed him, he wont take a bottle, no one else can settle him or get him to sleep. I am so tired. I just feel miserable. Nothing about this feels enjoyable right now. I have no idea when im next going to get a sleep that lasts for more than 2-3 hours. I feel like getting in the car and just driving away. I feel like this is all cos he's ebf. Its making me feel mad that ive chosen to do whats best for him and as a result its just so much pressure and I feel like I cant do it. I dont know what im expecting people to say I just needed to get it all out.

Oh - well done OP for sticking in there. Can't really help but just wanted to echo what others have said about a possible light at the end of the tunnel. My DS was fine in the house but screamed blue murder if put in a car seat or a pram. I felt like a prisoner! I remember when he was about 8 weeks there was a glorious sunny day and I decided to take him out regardless, as friends kept telling me I would be the only one conscious of his crying and that he'd settle if given the chance. I pounded the streets for 30 minutes then gave up and carried him all the way back. I can't remember exactly what age it changed but it was really sudden and was just at the point where I felt I couldn't go on!

It gets better, it really does.

I had three boys first, all very content and slept like angels, didn't cry much, slept through from a young age etc. naturally, I expected this baby to be the same... Hahaha! DH and I literally took turns to stay awake the first week as the only way DD would sleep was being held and I was too scared to co sleep. No way she'd lay down in her pram at all and except for a couple of times we had to use the sling and didn't really use the pram at all until she was about 3 1/2 months old. People used to say 'yes, she cries in there, but doesn't she go to sleep after a while?' because they thought I was 'mollycoddling' her. Um, no, if I tried leaving her in the pram she would scream and scream, getting more upset until I picked her up.

Now at 6 months old she is still held for naps in the day if we're at home and she still wakes once or twice at night. I havent tried anything different though, I am lazy and do what's easiest. She is though, a dream and the days when she was tiny seem so long ago now.

Re the bottles, we just kept trying at times when she was sort of hungry but not very, several times a day in the end. Eventually she took a few sucks and has taken a bottle ever since, but only really if I'm not around, she's not daft!

Awww organiccarrotcake that quote is so lovely, makes me quite tearful! Thanks, I'm going to write that on a piece of paper and stick it up somewhere to look at every time I get fed up and tired (DD, 7.5 mo and wakes a lot at night).

pipoca I post it quite a lot and it always brings a lump to my throat!

Saying that it does not mean it's not ok to try to change things if they're not working for you! If it ain't broke, don't fix it (no matter what your MIL says) but if it's becoming a problem, there will be strategies to help you get through. I think that's an important message.