Sort of sensitive WWYD

[FaverollesWithBoughsOfHolly]

My 6 yo keeps asking if he can feed from me.
(I have an 11 mo too who is still bfed)

He has anger issues at home, and is starting to use this as another excuse to feel angry and unloved :(

98% of me feels - no, it's for babies and little dc, he's too big etc.
2% of me feels - god is it worth the battle, but I'd feel a bit weird if he told people (and knowing him, he probably would)

WWYD?

Thankyou for replying so quickly :)
I've offered to express, but he wants to feed like the baby does. (I think the anger may be a new baby phase)
This isn't the only thing he gets angry with, but I think he's feeling pushed out by this.
I really don't feel comfortable with it - he self-weaned at 18 m, but I wonder if it would be easier all round just to agree with him and let him.

I'd let him have a go - he's probably forgotten how to latch on anyway and wont get any milk so wont ask again.

I have to go out for the day, but I would be really interested in any opinions of this :) (yes, even the bad ones! - I'm not a troll, I am genuinely wondering if this would be the easiest course of action - but not feeling comfortable and confidant enough to just do it)

if you're not comfortable with it then don't. If you would be happy to give it a try then do. With your youngest at 11mo you should be able to make some special time to spend with him as part of yor routine - would he be happy with that.

I had my 5 1/2 YO ask this when our new baby was born last year but after a few "asks" he moved on. I am absolutely all for term breastfeeding but also felt a little weird about it as my first was weaned at 15 months. Those feeling shocked me, never mind my ultra-lactivist husband! I have wondered ever since why I felt odd about it and how I'd feel if my current nursling carries on that long. I think I'd be fine but it's different when you go from a baby, through toddlerhood and so on to a larger child suddenly going back to the breast. I did give him expressed milk but quite accidentally it was slightly off and not surprisingly it put him off for good, which was a real shame actually as I 'd wanted him to have it!

I think it's fairly common for this to happen and while more often they accept "no" and move on, it's also not uncommon for them to get jealous or turn it into an issue. You have two options I suppose - let him or not - and as not letting him seems to be causing continued friction perhaps considering letting him might be an option. As has been said he's unlikely to be able to latch. It's possible that just by you letting him try he'll be able to move on from the feelings that he has and feel better about the situation.

I'm not saying you should do this, just that it's an option :) Certainly what stealthpolar suggested about trying to make more special time for him may help, if you can do this, although of course some (most?) kids will soak up that special time no matter how much you give.

With regards to what people might think, well, we all do stuff for our kids that people disapprove of due to their lack of understanding of the situation, and while it may be embarassing it's likely to not go further than a bit of a giggle about, "well, you know, the baby was doing it and he really felt left out so we just had a silly moment". Or something like that... maybe having a phrase ready just in case?

DD1 (5.9y) still has the occasional ask (I'm happy to give her a lick of milk off my finger) but she knows she can't have any milk as she hasn't been able to latch for the last 2 years and has 8 adult teeth so is well past the time for 'bah'.

I think we her it is just a bit of hankering after a snuggle with mummy and a bit of nostalgia for her being smaller.

we her = with her

agree that it might help to let him have a go if you can.

If, understandably, not, maybe look for other ways for him to enjoy the same physical connection as the baby. I doubt that it's really about the milk, more that the baby, being a baby, is held more etc and he wants in on that (certainly this has been the case with my ds when dd arrived . we are tandem bf and he lived off milk for the first six weeks. No doubt he just needed to know i was physically and emotionally available. Though i know your situation is different.) .

Playfull parenting has ideas for games that allow dc's to feel connected. And i always turn to the a-ha parenting website when i have worries of this kind. Sorry can't link as on phone but it's worth googling and the site has a great search facility.

DD asked after DS was born but dispite the fact she was only 4years and weaned just 6months before he was born she couldn't latch to get milk. I was a little about it at first and said no to start with but once she had tried and realised she could get milk she stopped asking.

It's much younger, but my friend's 2 y.o. asks (he has a newish baby sister). She cuddles him in the bf position and he pretends to feed but doesn't actually attempt it.

This would be weird for me. In fact I find it weird about 2 weeks after they stop feeding!!

Thankyou all :)
I spoke to DH about it, and he feels it would be wrong, so I think I'll stick with saying no, and express some for him (he has tried it before, and liked it)
I'll try and up the cuddles and 1to 1, because I'm sure it's because he sees ds3 being cuddled and fed.
Thankyou for taking me seriously :)

What a lovely thread.

I think u have to follow ur heart hun. If it doesn't feel right then go that way, but if an occasional does well...no one noone need know and noone needs to shoot u ...

Happy Christmas x

Personally I would just say yes.
DS1 asked the same when I was feeding DS2 and when it came to it he didn't want to do it. It was the me saying know thing that he was nudging against