Last feed? Feeling sad...

[browneyesblue]

DS is 20 months (21 months tomorrow). Ideally, I wanted him to wean naturally, but in reality he has been persuaded a little to cut back - I stopped offering and only fed him if he asked for it.

We were down to one feed a day (just before bed), but the last 4 nights in a row he hasn't asked and has just gone straight to bed. Prior to this he has only missed his bedtime feed two or three times, and never more than once in a row. In fact, he would have a fit if he thought I had forgotten about it. This is probably the end, isn't it? Even if he does remember again my supply will be dwindling, won't it?

I know I'm really lucky to have been able to have bf him for this long, but I feel really emotional about this being the end. It has been a difficult couple of months and I wasn't really expecting him to stop BF now on top of everything else. I'm not sure if any of this makes sense to anyone, but it's making me feel a bit sorry for myself :(

aww that IS really sad but as you say you have done so well to feed for that length of time and you have made such an amazing bond between you and your little boy. i am lucky enough to still be bf my litte girl (she is only 9 months though) .. infact feeding as i type! i don't know how long i will conttinue to do so but just the thought of stopping makes me sad. it is perfectly normal to feel down but you should be so so proud of yourself! i guess now is an exciting new chapter for you both..

Don't offer, don't refuse is a classic weaning technique - a very gentle one though.

If you want to continue you can still offer feeds to your DS at bedtimes (or at any other time you want), you will still have milk as supply is pretty robust at nearly 2 years so not feeding for 4 days will should not be a problem.

If you don't want to continue then congratulations for bfing as long as you did and take pride in the fact you finished bfing in a very gentle, child led way.

Thanks madam :) When it works, bf really is lovely.

I have been lucky, but I will miss that special time in the evening. Maybe it's time to think of something new that we can do together before bed - perhaps an extra story.

DS is really becoming a little boy now, rather than a baby. It's lovely to see, but I don't remember giving him permission to grow up!

That's interesting TS - I assumed that my supply would dry up pretty quickly. I was worried that if DS suddenly 'remembered', it would be too late. I haven't had that full feeling for over a year, so I find it hard to judge.

I think I'd find it difficult stopping at any stage. After such a rocky start, I can't quite believe I feel this way. If you'd have told me I'd feel this way any time during the first 3 months of bf, I wouldn't have believed that it. Maybe I'll give it another day, then decide what to do.

Aww. You just made me cry! We've just put DS in his own room for the first time tonight so I'm a bit teary anyway. I can't imagine the 'last feed'. It'll break me! Well done for managing it for so long, especially if the first few months were tough

I also fed my youngest DC to about that age. I had mixed feelings about finishing too. I just wanted to say well done for keeping going so long, I really believe it's a great start (despite all those smart alecs who kept asking if I'd be BFing the child at school ). The good news is that my DC is nearly 4 but still totally cuddly and loves to snuggle up, so the physical warmth is still there. Happy Xmas.

Many, many ongratulations on bfing for 21 mths! Whatever, you decide to do, you can seriously give yourself a pat on the back for that.

It's normall to feel sad as your relationship adjusts and as your hormones settle.

I completely understand how you feel, I'm in a similar boat.

I'm pregnant with DC2 and my supply dropped, I think actually DD was dry nursing for a while. She gradually cut down to just her bedtime feed and about a fortnight ago she stopped wanting her bedtime feed and I'm fairly certain that's her weaned.

I'm really sad about it. I had wanted to feed her until she was two. We still have lovely cuddles at bedtime but it's not the same.

How's it going? Pregnancy going ok? Hope you are doing ok with DD weaned. Thinking of all of you.

Oh! I remember putting DS in his own room - that was very hard too. It worked out well though, and we all started sleeping a bit better as a result. I hope it works out for you too ATFA

Thanks for all your messages, and shared experiences. DH has been v. supportive, but doesn't really 'get' it. I think he had it in his head that I would stop when DS was 2, and so perhaps feels that a few months doesn't really make much difference. I, on the other hand, was planning to keep going until... well until we stopped. I am very glad to have such a happy little boy who is stopping in his own time, but yes, I do have very mixed feelings.

KD - I think we are in this boat together. I was in hospital for a while when DS first dropped a feed or two, despite DH bringing him in before bed. Hopefully it will get easier for both of us :)

I feel a bit better having shared a bit. It helps that the last feed was a good one. The last time DS missed a feed I felt awful because the previous feed he had been messing about and I ended up cutting it short, much to his (very loud) dismay. This time, at least it was a good bf which he finished in his own time (and with a little happy smile). If it does turn out to be his last, it's a nice memory.

BEB - It's lovely to have a last feed memory - I don't even remember DD1's last feed! I remember the last time she tried to feed and her not being able to latch but I don't remember the last one where she actually took milk (well it would have been colostrum as was 3rd trimester with DD3).

Hello mbj! Lovely to hear from you. All going well. I'm often tempted to lurk on the tandem feed to have a nose at how you and moon are doing! Hope all is well. xx

I'm not sure I have that clear a memory of DDs last feed as there was nothing memorable about it! She went from happily dry nursing to sleep one night, then the next night she just wanted to twiddle with my (sore, tender, pregnant) nipple. Which was a no no.

She really doesn't seem fussed to have stopped feeding. Who knows she may have a renewed interest when the baby comes! Would be interesting to see if she would still remember how to latch after a four month break.