Told to stop breastfeeding. Having a slight glitch of confidence.

[ScroogeHadAGoodPoint]

I think I know that I'm doing the right thing in insisting upon continuing breastfeeding, and I suppose that in posting on a forum like this I'm looking for confirmation rather than challenge - but please, tell me if I'm being unreasonable.

I've been BFing for 26 months now, and am now tandem-feeding DD and DS together. I've always found breastfeeding easy and have really enjoyed the bonding aspect of it. And because I have chronic health problems which mean I get very tired very easily, I've really appreciated the way BFing makes an active toddler sits still, and allows me some enforced rest.

However, my GP is very much pressurising me to stop breastfeeding on the grounds that women who don't breastfeed are better nourished and therefore that I'll have more energy if I do stop.

This would be reasonable advice, I accept, if I were dealing with undernutrition or severe poverty - but I'm not.

Do long-term breastfeeders suddenly experience a surge in energy levels when they stop? Or is my GP slightly underinformed?

Ask your GP for some backup information - you can say you appreciate his/her concern and yes, you do get tired. You are willing to consider the suggestion if he/she can give you some sources where this would make sense for a women in the 21st century in the UK with adequate access to food?

Just be polite, show you are open minded about things.

I can promise you, there is no information of this kind, of course....but it will do your GP good to look for it and come up empty-handed :)

There are many reasons why you might be extra tired at the moment, on top of existing health problems. It would be useful to investigate these, anyway (I'm thinking iron levels; thyroid).

Do they both feed a lot at night? I wonder if your gp thinks you would get more sleep if they were weaned?

how old is your baby?

with ds2 and ds3 I had a real dip in energy and emotional state around 7months, to the point where i thought there was something wrong with me so i saw the gp. i was told to stop in both situations because i had gone over 6months so there wasn't much point in carrying on . well, i'm very stubborn and knew that it would have been much much harder to stop than to carry on.

ds3 wouldn't touch a bottle till 9months and only dropped dream/night feeds around then so it would have made life harder if i was trying to give him a bottle while going through all that. he's now 10months and has 1 or 2 bottles during the day, i feed morning and night and am feeling much better as he's eating so much solids during the day.

the only time i have stopped in the past is when pregnant so no idea what it will be like when i stop this time!

Of course you are tired - I'm guessing you have 2 dc under 26 months, don't you?

I would ask your GP to run a whole set of tests to show that you are under/worse nourished than you would be if you weren't bfing, and then for a referral to a nutritionist who can help design a diet which will make up for any deficiencies.

FFS, why do some doctors insist on sticking their ignorant noses in where they don't belong?

I'm liking the advice here

Do Join us in the Tandem support thread

I had this recently (and posted about this too) but not with a GP but a 'friend'/nurse/fellow peer supporter as I am still knackered after an op and a burst ovarian cyst in the Autumn and I am still bfing DD2 4y and DD3 2.2y.

Personally if I didn't bf I wouldn't have the amount of sitting down I do now. Case in point, this afternoon DD3 had an hour long nap on my lap post feed, I certainly wouldn't have sat down and MN for an hour off my own bat as I could have been doing something else like cleaning/folding laundry.....

Is there anything you can change in your life to make it easier/less tiring without dropping bfing (as you have said you want to continue)? Have your shopping delivered, eat out of the freezer, get a cleaner (or ask your PIL/parents/friends/sisters/brothers) or perhaps have a HomeStart volunteer (if you have a chronic health condition and two small babies you should qualify for a volunteer)? Is there a (local) support group for people with the condition you have?

Sometimes it's about doing what is best for you, not best for other people, so if you want to continue and there isn't a real medical contra-indication with actual medical evidence for stopping (as TikTok suggests you ask your GP for) then why not continue as long as you and your DC want?

I like tiktok's idea of politely challenging her to cite her sources. But I was have to be gentle - this is the GP who very firmly assured me that breastfeeding during pregnancy was a physiological impossibility.

In terms of nutrition as a possible case of the tiredness - I have had every possible test and the results merely throw up more questions. I've got various consultant appointments and possible surgery lined up for January, too.

In terms of support - really, I have plenty, even though I often feel as though nothing is sufficient. I've got childcare arranged to be able to spend the next four days in bed in preparation for Christmas. If I have to spend Christmas in bed I will cry.

Thanks, all of you.

"this is the GP who very firmly assured me that breastfeeding during pregnancy was a physiological impossibility."

I wonder what I've been doing for the past 20 weeks then.

Good luck with getting to the bottom of things, scrooge. Sounds like you know what's what perfectly well, and what you need is medical support with whatever it is that's making you so tired, rather than just random, uninformed stabs in the dark.

Scrooge - in that case I think both you and the GP know they are punching above their weight re. bfing medical knowledge.....

If you have got all the support you need in place how will giving up bfing help, or will the support then do all the feeds, all the comforting of your children, all the settling to sleep, all the reassurance, and so on and so forth that bfing (and you most importantly) provide?

I have epilepsy and if I have a seizure, I am exhausted for at least a day and am often thrown off track for a few days, everybody else can clean, cook, do the dishes but no one else can do 'bah' like Mummy can. I might have to give up everything else to recover and sleep but I can still bf (DD3 will often help herself when I am sleeping one off - she crept up the stairs yesterday after I had one and fed while DH was busy with the older two to nurse while I slept - DH found curled up against me sleeping too).

I really hope the time in bed will help you to enjoy Christmas with your children. It's a lovely time of year to be a Mother isn't it?

TS thanks for understanding. It's so much how I feel, that no matter how ill I am, at least I can share this one unique thing with the DCs.

DD can 'help herself' whilst I'm asleep, too. It's a lovely, lovely thing to wake up to.

I hope you can have a seizure-free Christmas, too.

It's an even better thing to sleep through! But it is lovely waking up to a happy nursing toddler

I went back to the GP. I needed to for something else anyway.

She half-admitted, very much to her credit really, that she doesn't feel entirely comfortable with the thought of toddlers being breastfed.

Sad, though, that she feels that way.

Funny that . I don't understand why so many HCP go against WHO guidance when they are their ultimate final authority....