"Feed for 20 mins each side..."

[Wigeon]

My cousin's partner has just had a baby DS, who is 13 days old, and she is being told (by three separate midwives apparently) that he needs to be feeding for at least 20 mins, on each side, otherwise he won't get enough of the hind (or is it fore?) milk.

This is completely outdated advice, right? What is the science behind the hind / fore milk issue? Where can I find something authoritative to show her to stop her stressing that he's only feeding for less than 20 mins? I've linked her to Kelly Mom, but when three midwives are telling her something different...

Both my DDs almost always fed for less than 20 mins and have both put on weight completely normally. Her DS so far hasn't even lost the "up to 10%" of his birth weight and is steadily putting weight on, so I am cross that the midwives are making her stressed when as far as I can tell there isn't any problem at all. They haven't said there is any problem with her DS, just that feeds should be longer.

Anything I can link her to?

Ha ha my hv was always telling me feeds should be shorter . Wait until this thread fills up with good advice, then show it to her.

Yes it's outdated. Google analytical armadillo foremilk, I don't have time to find it, but it's excellent.

Dr Jack Newman is your man

Here is the link.

This has a good visual of a mother's milk changing as a feed progress.

There is no switch or set amount of time or way of making a baby 'reach' the hind milk.

'Foremilk' is milk that has been sitting in the breast for some time, 'hindmilk' is freshly made milk. The longer the milk is in the breast the more fat that leaches out and sticks to the sides of the ducts.

DD had reflux and we were advised to block feed so she got plenty of the filling stuff but we did 3hrs on one side before switching. It did help.

Breastfeeding can be mind boggling. My experience is that MWs knowledge is very general and vague. Call LLL for a chat with someone who really knows all about it.

My own personal opinion is that breastfeeding is not about timing or counting or charting or stressing. Go with your gut and go with the flow. I only ever fed from one side at a time except for the bedtime feed. Plenty of people I know always fed from both sides. Guess what? Our babies all thrived.

Best thing I did when getting to grips with bf was to tell the MW I did not want to discuss it.

I got told something similar first time around. Went with it for a few feeds - desperately tried to keep her awake to take more, kept re-offering etc. All that happened was that she threw up a lot.

Left to her own devices she never fed for more than 15 mins and was usually done in six or seven or so. Gained weight absolutely fine.

Thanks very much for all the links and comments - much appreciated.

It's actually making me quite cross - these early days should be wonderful and special, not filled with stress about a non-problem!

Yes it makes me cross too! Breastfeeding mums can come up against enough problems anyway - HCPs don't need to introduce more! (Actually I'd be willing to bet that well-meaning advice like this/things read in books is in fact the cause of the majority of BF problems.)

I like the Armadillo article because it acknowledges that HCPs are often misinformed. You could buy her a copy of "The Food of Love" for Christmas too if you're feeling generous :)

Hadn't come across the Armadillo - she's good, isn't she. I think it's really hard as a first time mum to disbelieve what midwives say to you and believe your partner's cousin instead! She is a sensible person though, and erring on the natural parenting side of the spectrum, so I wouldn't be surprised if in 6 months she looks back on this time with a wry smile.

I keep hearing The Food of Love recommended on here - nice idea. I gave her "What Mothers Do, especially when it looks like nothing" for her November birthday which she said she enjoyed. I've reserved The Politics of Breastfeeding from my local library as so many people here have mentioned it. Maybe I should train as a breastfeeding supporter?! The more I breastfeed the stronger I feel that women need proper, evidence-based support!

Oh, for Christmas I gave her brie, camembert, stilton, ground coffee, prosecco and pate !

All fabulous books, wigeon. Do go ahead and train, it's wonderful! Feel free to ask any questions about it. There's a few of us on here who are trainee BFCs, and a few of us who are already trained as peer supporters. Tiktok is a qualified BFC. I'd start a new thread, though.