Help, trying to breastfeed a week old baby who is just fighting me all the time :(

[yaimee]

Hi everyone,
My gorgeous baby Patrick is a week old today and I've been trying to breast feed him since he was born. To begin with, he didn't latch on, which I think was mainly to do with my positioning, but I've worked on my positioning (with th help of a support worker) and things seemed to start going a bit better, but then he started to fight me off with his arms whenever I try to feed, and gets really distressed, crying and screaming. I obviously don't want to force things at this point because I don't want him to associate being at th breast with stress and screaming!
I'm feeling ready to quit, I'm expressing milk and giving him a supplement at the moment so he doesn't lose too much weight or become dehydrated! It's just so difficult, he becomes so frustrated, which distresses me because I don't want him to be distressed, it's like a vicious circle.
Can anybody help?

It's possible that he's got a weak suck, meaning that he simply can't get enough milk. Only a proper face to face consultation - with support worker/GP/HV would be able to determine that. You really should see someone again.

He's probably not fighting you, even though it seems like it! The punching is like the kneading that cats do, it's an instinct to help the milk let down.

I'm sure others will be along to help, but have you tried calling one of the hotlines?

I would see another breast feeding counselor asap.
Have you tried swaddling him to contain the arms?
are you feeding him, when he is first hungry? The first signs are waking up and looking around. If you try and feed him then he night latch better

Sorry you're having a struggle .

You might find it helps to go back to basics-
*have a bath with DS, relax and see if he will feed in there.
*lots of skin to skin and just cuddling. Like you say, no forcing or struggling.
*have a look at biological nurturing.

How are you giving the top up?

Would be good to see someone in RL, they can watch you feed and try and see what is going on. Is your mw coming again?

:(

Totally support the idea of someone seeing you - the midwife is still 'in charge' of your care and she can visit if you call.
The distress and fighting is possibly the result of over-zealous 'trying to get him on' - even help that appears gentle can feel invasive the the baby and cause him to resist bf. Your instinct not to 'force' is absolutely right....and the link to biological nurturing that badger has given will help you support him self-attach in his own way and his own time. Co-bathing is often a really lovely way of fixing these difficulties too.

Hope today goes better - two things for you to try, remember: biological nurturing and co-bathing.

BTW, I doubt it has anything to do with a weak suck.

When ate you feeding? Are you waiting until he's crying or before? Babies hunger signs (sticking Tongue out, rooting etc) come before crying. DD does the arm pushing thing when she's desperate for a feed and had worked herself into a frenzy.

Hi! I have. 17week old little girl, my first.I was desperate to Breastfeed and decided to go into it naively. At the first feed I put her on my chest and she latched on herself. Since then I have done biological nurturing. I love it and get sooo much interest at bf group etc. It's very relaxed and feels so natural. She is upright pressed against my body. If I feed on right side, my right arm goes over her left arm and my had just holds her little bum. My left arm is free, so I sometimes rest it on her back.as she has grown it's become like a cuddle.she reaches around me and holds my clothes and her legs straddle my thigh. As her neck got stronger (very early on which may be down to the position) she pulls off when she's finished. She has a lot of control and we have locality's contact too. I couldn't do the cradle hold and even now she hates being cradled. I would suggest trying other positions and finding out what works for you. Biological nurturing is also good for digestion as baby is upright. But don't get too hung up on what's right and wrong. As long as you hear the little gulps and baby is putting on weight, u can do any position under the sun! You know best as soon as u give birth to your baby goodluck xxxx

yaimee - how are things going?

Sorry you are finding things difficult. Can you get an actual lactation consultant to visit? I had a lot of problems with my DS and the midwives were very encouraging but quite useless! I had a DVD from this website which was absolutely brilliant. There are video clips on the site that you can view for free. HTH
www.breastfeedinginc.ca/