How to night wean 8 month old - still having 3 night feeds

[mumtomoley]

My 8 month old is still having a full 7oz bottle at 7.30pm, 12.00, 3.00 and sometimes again at 5.00/6.00. I am told he 'shouldn't be having milk at night now' and I do think every 3 hours or so is a bit excessive! He must be able to go longer than that.

I thought we were making progress last night as he went for six hours between 7.30pm and 1.30am but then I gave him a 7oz bottle and after an hour and half of trying to get him back to sleep he wouldn't so I got another bottle and he had another 4ozs of that. 11ozs??

Why is he such a milk monster!? I go back to work in a few weeks and it's going to do me in having to get up so much in the night so I would really like to reduce this.

They are all different. Just because someone else's baby can go without milk for 6 or 7 hours doesn't mean yours can. You know in your heart if he is still crying 1.5hours later, he must be hungry. You are just being a good mum by responding to his needs. Maybe give the night weaning a rest for a month and try again?

Just to add I also have an 8mo and I've been back at work for nearly two months. DD is BF so night feeding is a bit easier. But she reverse cycled which means she doesn't take much milk during the day. Somehow I cope without much sleep. I basically follow the path of least resistance that gets me most sleep at night.

Who has told you that he shouldn't be having night feeds? Did they provide any evidence?

I don't know anything about FF so I can't advise on that but it is perfectly normal for a baby of this age to still be waking up a couple of times a night and even if you do night-wean then it's no guarantee that he will sleep right through.

I know it's tough trying to survive on little sleep, there are other things you could try to maximise the amount of sleep you are getting. Where does your DS sleep at the moment? Is he teething maybe?

eaurouge it's what 2 health visitors have said to different friends of mine. Though I do generally ignore HV advice (apologies to good HV's out there, unfortunately my experiences with their advice so far hasn't been that great)

I haven't really been that bothered till now, as most of the things he's done that he is not 'supposed' to he's grown out of by himself naturally, or we've encouraged him when he's seemed ready (needing to be held all the time, sleeping in our bed, having all his naps on me) and I've always taken a very slow/gentle approach in encouraging any change in behaviour - but it was only really the revelation that he's the only one in my antenatal group (my only experience of babies) who is still feeding to any significant degree at night. And I always tell people it's bad to compare!

DS sleeps in his own room now (since last month) and I think he probably is teething, though this has been going on since about 4 months.. I breastfed him till 4.5 months and he was sleping through then, but he basically used to be on boob from about 6.00pm - till 10.00pm only coming off for short periods of time while I scoffed some dinner down. It occurred to me this evening that when I stopped breastfeeding is roughly when he started waking every 3 hours for milk at night. Though it's also approximately when we moved him into his cot instead of the beside crib so I thought at the time it may have been that.

I don't really expect or want to wean him completely at night, but I would like to reduce the time between night feeds - unless of course he really does genuinely need in which case I will just have to have patience.

lilham thank you for your kind words too - I am constantly amazed at how much sleep I survive on now. Getting up every few hours just seems 'normal'!

That's lovely that you've been doing things at his pace :) You sound like you're very sensitive to his needs. You know him best of all, do you think he still needs the night feeds? Would it be possible to have a side-car cot in your room? You might get more sleep that way.

Sorry I don't have any advice about FF babies, I really don't know much about it. Does he have a dummy?

I was also going to say does he have a dummy?

Sorry for the obvious question but is he getting enough milk and solids during the day?

My DD used to love to feed at night too and hung on to a 'midnight feast' of bm until 11 mo when she dropped it of her own accord. It was one of her last feeds to go tbh, despite my best efforts! It did irk me when people told me 'she shouldn't be on milk at night' 'she's only feeding for comfort' 'you've got to night wean her, she'll never do it on her own' etc etc etc ad nauseum. My favourite was 'offer her water' As if my DD was likely to be duped by a beaker of water, I tried it and she screamed looked at me as if I was mad. It was hard to smile and ignore the well meaning comments without wanting to gouge their eyes out feeling a little defensive tbh.

The others are right, you know your baby, however I don't blame you for feeling you would be justified in hoping the night feeds should at least be decreasing by now. So just to say I feel your pain and hope you have a better night tonight

How much food in the day is enough? Sorry if this is boring, but here's an approximate day..
8.30 breakfast 1 weetabix plus bottle of milk (half on weetabix) half drunk afterwards
12.00 lunch 3 oz pot of hot dinner (eg fish pie/pasta) plus half banana, plus I offer milk to make sure he's full will generally have about half a bottle

3.30 bottle of milk (hardly ever finishes this one)

5.30 dinner 3 oz pot of hot dinner plus finger food to play with (eg a banana, carrot sticks)

Does that sound normal? a 3 oz pot I think is a fairly good size portion compared to other babies that I know.

I did give him a big dinner tonight though to see if that helps (fish pie followed by toast and cream cheese fingers followed by stewed apple and custard)

He does have a dummy - sometimes just putting his dummy back in is enough to get him back to sleep, but those wake-ups are on top of the ones for milk!

And thank you for your help - it's very much appreciated :)

I have 6 month ff DD2 and she wakes twice a night. DD1 slept through at 11 weeks so this is rather a culture shock

DD2 takes most of her milk at night, she isn't interested in the day, but what can I do? I can't force the milk down her have tried that

I am working on the basis that she feeds because she needs to. She doesn't do it for comfort or to settle, she does it because she is hungry. Therefore cutting down night feeds, adding water etc, isn't going to help. And she eats like a demon in the day too.

She has been fed the same as DD1 but clearly there is a huge difference in sleeping pattern. Both are on the 91st percentile as well, so it isn't a weight thing.

Sorry, I have no advice, just wanted to say you are not on your own.

It doesn't look like he is getting much milk in the day. 1 bottle with breakfast, half of one with lunch (does that mean 3oz?), and some of one at 3.30? Is that right? And then he has 3 or 4 7oz bottles during the night?

I would have thought that you would be offering a bottle before meals as milk is still very important to his diet. If he's not getting enough milk in the day he may well wake up for it in the night (sort of reverse cycling but with bottles not breasts!)

6-8m need 130 kcals of complementary foods and 485 kcals from milk - total 615 kcals a day

9-11m need 310 kcals of complementary foods and 376 kcals from milk - total 686 kcals a day.

12-23m need 580 kcals of complementary foods and 314 kcals from milk - total 894 kcals a day.

Full details here on page 18. Pleae note that there is different values for industrialised/developed countries and developing countries. I've listed the industrialised/developed countries figures.

Hi truthsweet - yes that's right. 7oz breakfast, lunch probably about 3-5ozs and then 4ish ozs mid afternoon plus 7 ozs at bedtime.

I have been told that at this age babies need 18-20 ozs in 24 hours which would make this about right (without counting all the nightime milk) but actually just googling to try and find some figures and everything I have found seems to be much higher than that.

Thankyou for that link - so if they need 376cal from milk from what I can find that equates to about 18ozs? I reckon DS has over 30ozs in 24 hours.

I'm very confused!

But big dinner didn't work.. he's already had a bottle at 11.00pm.

Tomorrow I will try giving him milk first before each meal and see how that goes - thank you :)

If he's 8m he needs 485kcals from milk (formula is usually approx 65kcals per 100ml) which would equate to 746mls or roughly 25oz.

Just wanted to come back and say, this was excellent advice! Since Friday I've been giving him milk before every meal and each day he's been taking more and more milk in the day and less at night.

Last night we had just one wake up! He slept 7.30pm till 2.30am, quick bottle and then slept till 8.00am. I can't believe it, it's like a different baby!

Fingers crossed it continues and wasn't just a blip, but it's been getting better each day as he has less at night, and so consequently more in the day, so less at night etc etc in a very un-vicious circle!

Ahhhhh (please may it continue!)

Glad it's working out, my fingers are crossed that it continues!