5 day old daughter - I'm struggling to keep on breastfeeding - please help!!

[ComeTalkToMe]

I have my beautiful 5 day old daughter curled up on my chest sleeping but only 5 mins ago she was screaming at me trying to feed her and I'm not sure what to do!

Every time I feed her since last night she is screaming, pulling off the breast and crying till very red in the face. She sometimes gets a few sucks of milk in too! I am getting very distressed and worried as her screams sound to me like she's in pain. I just sent my husband to get ready made formula but by the time he got back she had fed enough not to need it. I am really worried now, as this seems like it will continue all night. I have very large (34K) breasts and I'm worried she's not latched on well enough although she has had loads of wet and dirty nappies so must have been getting latched on until now I think. Does anyone have any advice?? Thanks, I'm desperate...

Thanks, yes, have been winding her, she's sometimes been bringing up a little bit of milk too.

I suppose my main worry is why she's started screaming and pulling away - you'd think I was trying to hurt her, not feed here...

Boy, it's not easy this motherhood lark is it?!

Want to cry 'cos I feel I'm failing her...

Newborns are so difficult. Problem is they don't always just cry because they are hungry. There are lots that bothers them in the big scary world that's not your womb. You check the nappy, offer a feed, burp, check her temperature, cuddle, etc to meet both their physical and psychological needs. In itself the screaming to get off the breast could be anything. Though ofc newborn found suckling and cuddling so comforting that they seldom object to it. Is your LO having lots of wet and dirty nappies? How about the weight gain? If the MW is happy that she's thriving it might be nothing wrong and she will settle down over time.

But do get your feed observed by seeing a lactation consultant, a bf cousellor or a good MW.

Please don't imagine that anyone finds it easy to breastfeed a 5 day old baby and that you are somehow failing! You really are not, it is extremely difficult at first, even for very succesful breastfeeders, please don't think that you need to give her formula just yet. You need support - can your midwife or health visitor recommend a bf supporter in your local area. Honestly, honestly, all sorts of problems with breastfeeding can be overcome, just try and muddle through while you wait for help to arrive .

When my DD was a newborn I remembered nights where both me and DH were awake looking at a crying baby. And this is when feeding was going really well because DD was already back to her birth weight before day 5. It's just such hard work. And feeling really helpless because sometimes we couldn't comfort her at all.

But unless you are sure the latch is good, getting real life help is really useful. I got mine checked by both my MW and at an NCT bumps and babies even when DD was thriving, just to give mysel reassurance.

Hopefully you will get the help you need.

Maybe your milk is squirting in quite rapidly for the first few sucks and surprising her? If so, you could try expressing a few squirts so the flow slows down when she's latching on?

Good luck, you're doing well it's not easy!

Thanks for your support - feeding now, will come back and update, I really appreciate the help x

Glad she's feeding now ComeTalkTo Me.

When is your mw coming to see you next? It would be good to talk through your concerns with her and ask her to watch you feed. It's very hard to work out what could be happening when we can't see you.

Keep her close to you, lots of skin to skin as others have suggested and try to get her on to the breast when she is calm - crying is a late sign of hunger.

How are you holding her? Babies don't like to be held on the back of their heads so check that you are not doing that.

These early days are really tough so hang in there and try not to worry.

I am so emotional and your messages are helping me to calm down!!! Just fed her and it was a bit better except she was quite tired this time. Still took a few goes to get her on right so I think I will speak to MW tomorrow when she weighs her. I really hope she hasn't lost too much weight.

Are those numbers 24 hour?

I'm in Midlothian, just outside Edinburgh.

Breastfeeding is SO difficult! It took me about a fortnight to get the hang of it.

You're not failing your daughter, you're being fabulous - its just really hard. Don't worry about having big boobies, either.

Don't panic - your baby is "built to last" and won't perish overnight. Just slow down, take a deep breath, tell your partner you love him, and try again.

Definitely call the helplines mentioned above and/or your local health visitor. Can you see if the health visitor or an NCT breastfeeding councillor can do a home visit tomorrow? Can you call the hospital where you gave birth?

Ask ask ask ask ask and keep on asking until someone gives you advice that 'clicks' with you. I received lots of conflicting advice - it was about the fourth person's advice that finally 'clicked'.

I'm sending you a big hug. It is really difficult - you're not the only one. You'll get there x x x x x x

Congratulations on a better feed!!! I bet you're BOTH tired.

Don't fret about your baby's weight. Your baby will be fine

Definitely speak to your midwife tomorrow. Breastfeed in front of her, and pick her brains. Plus it is worth asking for more, backup advice too if you're still unsure.

It is really normal for there to be tears from both participants in the early days of breastfeeding! You're doing a great job.

Good that you are calmer now . Seriously, most of us here have been in a very similar boat, so you'll get loads of support here.

This site about biological nurturing is well worth a look and this from the unicef site might be useful.

btw- does this behaviour coincide with your milk coming in?

Thank you so much - I am definitely going to speak to MW tomorrow and go to a breastfeeding support group on Monday.

PipPipPip - thanks for saying they're built to last I am ridiculously paranoid that something terrible is going to happen.

I am lucky to have a very supportive hubby who is helping with kind words and yummy food.

Thanks for the hugs too :)

Can you get in to Edinburgh any time soon? I am sure there will be breastfeeding clinics somewhere in such a big city. Pester all the health professionals you can think of to find you some proper help. And well done! Your baby could be crying and fussing for all sorts of reasons - don't put it all down to problems with feeding. Newborns really can be incredibly unsettled and demanding - they don't all snuggle down like fluffy lambs.

crikeybadger - my milk came in slightly before this change I think

Good plan ComeTalkTo me.

Paranoia? Completely normal- that's the hormones, and tiredness talking. Don't forget you only gave birth 5 days ago so go easy on yourself.

Now get thee some rest and let us know how you get on tomorrow.

I agree with Baubleybobbityhat when she says "Newborns really can be incredibly unsettled and demanding - they don't all snuggle down like fluffy lambs."

Newborns go from silent/sweet to red/screaming/scary within seconds, for no reason. It is bloody alarming and totally normal. Don't blame yourself for everything x x x

My lb use to do this, it passed, try burping etc x