biting and nursing strike. Help!

[JollyBear]

DD2 is 9 months. She has just started biting and cutting right back on feeds. HV has advised I need to pump to keep up supply as lack of milk might make biting worse.

Just tried to pump and got a dribble. I spent weeks pumping when she was in the neo natal unit and always got plenty.

I'm worried my milk is disappearing. Should I keep trying with the pump?

Shameless bump.

She refused to feed at bedtime, and just bit me twice really hard. I've just tried to express and couldn't even get 1oz .

The amount you get when pumping is no evidence of milk supply or lack of. It really isn't. Expressing is a pretty difficult thing to do for a lot of people, you have done it before but not for a long time.

Your milk is not going to go away overnight or even in a few days, by 9 months it is well established.

Is there a reason for her biting? For example a cold or teething that cold be making her reluctant to feed?

Try to relax about it. She will feed when she is ready to. Offer at her usual times but don't force it. If she bites or tells you off for daring to offer her milk just put it away and offer again later. Perhaps try anticipating her waking up in the morning or from a nap and see if she will feed while nice and sleepy still instead of waiting until she wakes up properly.

By all means try to express, while it isn't the best way to maintain supply it will help but try not to stress if you don't get much. Give yourself time and space to express, relax, perhaps look at photos of your dd. Gently massage the breast and stroke down towards the nipple to stimulate your let-down before you get in there with the pump or even just hand express if that feels more natural.

I hope that someone with more experience will be along soon but wanted to reassure you that you can get through it and keep on bf. I had a similar situation with ds4 when he was about 9 months and found it hard to pump but just kept trying and even though I only got a tiny bit off each time I felt more comfortable. I found that feeding him when he was 90% asleep worked as he managed to latch without biting. He is still bf at 20 months. There is some good advice on the Kellymom site about nursing strikes so you could have a read of that.

See some one did get there but before me- I am a very slow typist especially with one hand and sleeping boy on my knee.

Thanks indith and pearl for being lovely and reassuring. I'm having a little cry now. Pearl that is great to hear that you had something similar, didn't get much off expressing and are still bf. Gives me hope!

She is has one top tooth and the second one is just poking through so it might be that. She has a bit of a runny nose but doesn't seem ill. When I offer her the breast she opens her mouth but doesn't even try to latch on, her mouth isn't open enough and she just bites very hard.

I'll try and feed her first thing without any distractions (DD1!) around. I just feel so rejected. It was so hard to get bf established in the first place and I'm just not ready to stop yet. She's still a baby.

My dd did exactly the same thing at 9 months. I was so upset as hadn't planned to stop but she just would not feed. I resigned myself to it then after a week of refusal on her part she showed interest and then fed for ages! We had been with another breastfeeding baby, not sure that anything to do with it. Hope it works out.

Jolly I felt rejected to and like you had had a rocky start to the bf relationship with ds4. When he bit he would bite once or twice very hard as he began to feed and then no more in that feed. He had 2 days of not feeding and I remember talking to a friend who is a bfc and saying I felt like it had all gone wrong and I wasn't ready to stop. We were fortunate in that it was 2 days - there have been threads on here where it has been longer and there is loads of good advice on them.
Hope it goes ok in the morning.

Hi Jolly, I didn't experience a nursing strike, but always struggled to express even though DD could get loads of milk from me. I did do better with the pumping if I was relaxed and not tired - evenings were out for me, too much at the end of the day! The earlier in the day I pumped the more I got, but my bf counsellor suggested trying to get a half hour rest before pumping if possible - sounds impossible with a toddler around, but could you bung her in front of the telly and grab yourself a cuppa and snuggle with her for a bit, before pumping, if you decide to keep expressing?

Thanks rotten and ZJ. I've shocked myself at how upset it has made me. I have worked out a strategy for tomorrow, and feel more positive so thank you everyone, it has really helped. I'll try to to feed her first thing in a quiet room, then if that doesn't work, I'll walk her town to toddler group in the sling (see if the smell of milk becomes tempting), then sit with the bf babies and see if she starts feeling left out, then if there is nothing doing I'll attempt pumping again while DD1 has some time with cbeebies.

Have you seen the advcie on Kellymom?

Pumping is worth doing even if you don't get anything out as it should stimulate your supply a bit. It's normal to be able to pump less by now as your supply is regulated to what your DD needs.

Do persevere. It's incredible how upset it makes you feel, isn't it? DS went on strike for nearly a fortnight when he was 13 m.o. and it was really depressing.

JB - I wouldn't worry too much about your milk supply. I was also hopeless at pumping, esp for DD and never got much, but she always managed to feed. As Indith says, it won't stop in a few days. Keep offering and see how she feels about it. I know its a bit shocking - both mine did this at around 9-10 months. Horrid stopping when you aren't ready for it, but also, if that is the way it is, its OK. DD never did decide to start again and I always comforted myself with the idea that she fed for as long as she wanted.

Hello, quick update!

The day started well and after biting a few times she relaxed and fed really well which was a huge relief. No bedtime feed so I'll pump shortly just to keep things going. Her second top tooth is coming through very quickly and she almost looks as though she isn't sure how to latch. She dithers and bites and seems very annoyed.

Thanks Invisible. If she is deciding to stop then it is nicer for her to make the decision. I'll keep trying for now and hope it is teething related.

Jolly, I had something similar with dd1 I rang la leche league and had fab advice which really helped: try to be as calm as possible, strip off and do skin to skin in a really quiet relaxed room. No tv, maybe calm music. Or have a bath together. Just do as much skin to skin and see if she gets the hang of it again. (although I see from your last post things are on the up). When my dd1 did it, I compared it to her being hungry, wanting to eat, but being given chop sticks to do it with-she simply didn't know how to use a boob anymore. It wasn't that she'd lost interest, it was like she'd forgotten how to do it.

I second what ppl say about expressing and supply. Good luck!

That is such a good analogy WG, thank you! She seems so frustrated with herself and the fork/chopsticks idea sums it up so well. She fed this morn after a bit of coaxing and some biting. She perservered out of hunger I think.

Update: When looking in the MN archives I found it frustrating when a thread ended without the OP coming back to say what happened with the strike, hence the update!

DD has dropped her evening and after lunch feeds. She is now feeding much better in the mornings and after one or two bites she buckles down and gets on with it. I stopped expressing after a couple of evenings as I wasn't getting much milk. However she did wake in the middle of the night last night which is very unusual! She wanted feeding and there was plenty of milk there so supply is still there if she wants it. I find that reassuring for the future if she decides to up her feeds again.

Hope this helps anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation .