Trouble changing from breast to bottle....health visitor very negative!

[Portlypenguin]

Hi everyone,
I really want to gradually phase out BF my just-6-month old son. I am finding that having to be there with him constantly (he likes to feed every 2-3hrs still) is stressing me out and not allowing me even a modicum of baby-independence. My husband and I have been trying to introduce a bottle for the past one. DS used to take a bottle for the occasional feed ok but since we have introduced a regular twice daily bottle to get him used to that we have had a revolt. He screams, shakes his head violently and won't feed from the bottle. I know he can do it because he has in the past. It is highly frustrating and has been leaving me in tears. I went to my surgery health visitor who was really negative and said he will never learn to use a bottle now and I might as well just continue BF until he can get enough fluid from a cup. He doesn't currently understand a cup at all. SHe didn't seem to understand why I wanted to stop BF and just kept repeating that he will probably not learn to bottle feed now.

Anyone had similar experiences or managed to get a reluctant baby to feed from a bottle?

Thanks

My dd1 had to start taking a bottle when i returned to work, all very stressful etc, she basically never took one till the 1st day I had to leave her. Have you been the one trying? If so, could you head out and let someone else try?

DS1 and DS2 were bf and were v resistant to getting on the bottle at 6 months (knew they could has had previously had bottles - they got more resistant as they realised there was a choice and preferred it from the source) - the only thing that worked was going cold turkey with them (i'd go out for the whole day, returning only to drop off expressed milk, and DH would play with them and offer them the bottle when hungry). We then had to keep this up for 48 hours before moving to mixed feeds. DS1 took his first bottle after 9 hours. DS2 took 3 oz from his first bottle after 2 hours and then refused any milk (drank water from a cup - basically babies will drink a few sips if you hold a doidy to their mouth - and had some bread) for 24 hours as he was pining for me - he then took a bottle from me and continued to take bottles from me as long as I was wearing a huge thick fleece of DH's so he couldnt smell the milk straight off me. Both experiences quite draining and exhausting and not really something I'd recommend if you just want an occasional break from bfing.

Mine took a bottle only after I put a bit of sugar in (which I then phased out rapidly).

I am a Bad Mummy but it was worth it.

Negative or realistic? Try cup n spooning milk then slip the teat in his mouth when he is used to a mouthful of milk from spoon.

Don't you think that's negative Jaffa? I do, of course he will learn to drink from a bottle!

Cold turkey worked for me btw

He would learn if the choice is that or starve, yes! But at 6 months I would have thought cups and increasing food intake would be the easier route. Once he's established on three meals a day you'll probably only need to do 4 milk feeds a day anyway - and if you fight to get him on a bottle now you'll only have to wean him off it in a few months anyway. Personally I would go straight to cups and cut out the extra weaning.

ah yes, i see that point Rita.

Cold turkey doesn't always work. I guess a full day at nursery isn't complete cold turkey since mum will turn up after 10hours. Anyway my experience with it is DD went without and stressed for 10 hours. I caved in and went to feed her twice a day. After a while she learned taking a bottle from other babies. She literally went and grabbed another babies bottle. Another mum I know went cold turkey during work hours for 7 weeks before the baby caved in. At 6mo if you do this for that long you will be at 8mo. An 8mo will be well established on solids and will have a lot less milk feeds. Also will drink from the cup. I'm with Rita on this one that cup and solids is probably the easier route. Unless you have a spoon refuser ofc

Try the brown, latex teats rather than the clear silicon ones. They seem to be better for breastfed babies for some reason.

If you really can't get him to take one, remember his feeds will start so space out soon as he takes more solids, I know it's hard though :(

I've just been through this. It's hard. I didn't feel I could do cold turkey as DD2 has suffered with constipation so we've had dozens of failed attempts to introduce a bottle. Save yourself the grief an expense and listen to your HV.

Basically, we're now at 8 months and I BF morning and night, she has lots of solids and a bottle after her nap. She drinks 3 ounces at most and that's after trying every bottle out there (warmed latex teats did break the complete refusal barrier). Today she had an ounce or so from a beaker! I no longer need to be with her, and she's had no significant discomfort.

I think your HV might be just trying to save you the grief of trying and failing that I've been through. But she could've been more sympathetic. Make the most of those hours you can leave your DC, and start stretching them - leave them with someone who can distract and entertain and you may find they don't need you for 3-4 hours.

All that said, I'd bloody love it if someone could make DD2 take a bottle or dummy in the middle of the night

I found health visitors and other medical staff completely useless when I asked them for support when I stopped bf my two at 7 months and 10.5 months. Had to force the issue with both babies by taking the bottle away if they refused it and abandoning that feed. Soon caught on that they weren't going to get their own way and the worst that happened is they had a big shout and felt a bit hungry before the next feed. Best to do when you have company that can support you emotionally though as nothing worse than the feeling of have I done something bad/wrong. Friends had more success with using a doidy cup, so you could give that a whirl. Bonus is that you don't have the whole bottle to beaker to cup debacle that we had. Try not to stop all of a sudden as your hormones go nuts. No-one talks about stopping but health professionals really should be trained in supporting this too. Both times I got depression induced by chemical seesaw when the feelgood maternal hormones dried up. Later found out from an aussie midwife friend that this is par for the course. Also can be associated physical problems with engorgement if you stop suddenly too, got bad advice on that too from my GP of all people!

Persistance/withdrawal works for some people, depends whether you have the stomach for it. I was rubbish at the starving them onto the bottle approach! With DS whipped nipple out and put the bottle in repeatedly throughout a feed and he was fine to take both bottle and breast eventually - gave up feeding at 9 months.

DD wouldn't have it and I gave up trying in the end. I did however start breast feeding her as though I was bottle feeding her (i.e. gave her milk at specific times). I dropped feeds and replaced them with custards and yoghurts until I was down to one in morning and one in the evening (about ten months). I still do morning and evening and she is 14 months. She could potentially take enough from a cup and once a week she doesn't get an evening feed as I work late so I don't feel tied apart from being at home at 7am everyday - but this isn't a problem - it is actually easier as it means I can feed in bed rather than rushing downstairs to heat a bottle :-)

I can sympathise as it was so stressful at the time but if you can't get them to take a bottle just keep thinking within a few months I will only be feeding 2-3 times a day and at 10-12 months you will be able to give up completely.

It's also worth bearing in mind that breastfed babies are used to taking small amounts of milk in each feed - so don't think that "only" getting them to take 3oz is a failure, as that is a typical feed for a bf baby. My ds only ever drank about 3-4oz of milk at a time.

Thanks for all the advice guys!

We may have to try the cold turkey technique I think. I will just need to arrange to go out and leave DS with my husband though or I will inevitably give in.

I am also going to introduce a cup as well, but at the moment it seems unrealistic he could take enough from that. I've started fromage frais this week but he doesn't eat that much of it yet.

We will see. I'm not going to give up on the bottle yet...

I'm not sure cold turky is a good idea, as they often then just take the bare minimum and wait for you to get back.

Tey letting him play with the bottle when he's not hungery and get him use to it that way.

While your HV wasn't that sypertheric I agree with a lot of the other posters on hear. That you've started him on solids and a cup so really soon you'll be able to leave hime for longer anyway with food and fluids instead. Also they arent supposet to have bottle's after 12months so you may make a lot of effort getting him to take one then have problems getting him to stop.

Some baby's take better to an open cup something like a doidi type cup.