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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

baby not eaten since this morning

20 replies

forevermore · 09/01/2006 16:49

dd (23 weeks) has had a cold since saturday

she went off solids but still taken same amount of milk (20oz's /day) she is all bunged up and used olbas drops on bib to help clear her nose. sunday the same. today less bunged up, more alert but now not eating????

really worried and in tears. dh says just a cold and babies lose apetitie when they have one. but she was okay (apart from no solids) when seemimgly at her worst. so why now gone off milk too when seemimgly better??

not even sure this is the right section to post this in. but i cannot stop crying (over anxious mother). i have had a lot of issues with her 'low apetite' and was just coming to terms with it and now this. i feel she is so small (only 15lbs) and doesn't have the margins to lose weight....

just looking for words of reassurance really

she is well in her self, maybe a bit more sleepy but other than bunged up nose, pretty normal otherwise.

OP posts:

starlover · 09/01/2006 16:51

i wouldn't worry too much at this stage... it may well be that she is finding it hard to take her bottle because she is bunged up and can't breathe properly?

just keep offering her some... she will take it if she wants it.

is she wee-ing and poo-ing ok? you don't want her to get dehydrated... will she take anything from a cup?

WigWamBam · 09/01/2006 16:51

I agree with your dh - babies can lose their appetite when they're ill. If she's well in herself I wouldn't worry too much about it at the moment. If it continues then maybe it would be worth having her checked out but I wouldn't fret at the moment.

Might be worth getting some saline nose drops from the chemist - if her nose is really bunged up then it might just be too difficult for her to suck.

Kelly1978 · 09/01/2006 16:53

If she is having her milk, and is alert I personally wouldn't worry too much. Babies do go off food when ill. One of my 9mnth olds is full of cold and has had hardly anythign apart from some porrige, half a banana and one bottle. He is all bunged up and doesn't feel like eating. Also, not all babies grow at the same rate, 15lbs doesn't soudn that bad for a 23 weeks old. 20oz is enough milk to be sure she is getting her nutrients. Try her with somethign easy to eat like yoghurt, and build it up again gradually.

Kelly1978 · 09/01/2006 16:54

oh, and try karvol plus in in her bedroom. I think it can be used from 4 months, and it is great for de-congesting. I use it whenever mine have colds, and I find it a godsend.

Kelly1978 · 09/01/2006 16:55

karvol plug in

lucykate · 09/01/2006 18:12

because babies can't blow their nose, all the snot/catagh basically ends up being swallowed which can make them feel a bit sick. this might be why she's off food. milk makes the catagh (sp?) even stickier so tbh she's better off not having milk.

babies are very good at regulating their own diet, what she misses out one week, she'll make up for the next. too many times i've forced food down ours worried that they've not eaten enough only to have to clean up sick later on.

if it helps, i've also had issues with ds over his low appetite, he's 7.5mths, he's also small and has lost weight through being ill with heavy cold and ear infection. he's also only just been weaned as he showed no interest in solids til a few weeks ago. hv had me unneccessarily worrying, until a friend who's a paediatrician said, just don't bother going to the baby clinic

tiopepe · 09/01/2006 19:09

Forevermore, I am so sorry your DD is poorly. My sister recommended a nasal aspirator and it is FABULOUS! You put the end at the entrance to the nostril (not up it, though) and suck gently on the other end. Lots of eugh comes out and the baby feels so much better. They have trouble feeding as they can't breathe through their noses if blocked and this goes some way to helping out.

Don't worry about the solids - at this stage, so long as she is getting milk she will be fine. Clearing her nose will help her to feed. Keep offering her the bottle and keep checking for the wet nappies.

Hope this helps. Take care.
XX

Original poster

forevermore · 09/01/2006 19:32

thank you this advice has been a great help

just gave her a bath and this cleared her nose enough for her to take 4 oz's she vomited a bit afterwards but at least its something. i will be staying clear of weighing clinic for a couple of week since its probably inevitable that sh'e lost weight and i can just about emotionally deal with the problem at hand withough worrying about that too.

OP posts:

Original poster

forevermore · 10/01/2006 14:24

dd just coughed up a bit of blood (mixed with phlem) and also sneezed a little too, could be it be from burst blood vessel in nasal passage from all the sneezing????

she is eating (80% of normal amount).....

OP posts:

lucykate · 10/01/2006 14:35

yes i would think so, when i've got a cold i sometimes get bits of blood in the tissue when blowing my nose, sorry if thats tmi!, but hth

teacups · 10/01/2006 19:41

How are things today forevermore? Is your DD feeding a little better? And how are you my love? hope you have some support at home.

I would stay away from the HV for as long as possible re weigh ins! I was repeatedly berated as my DD only put on 4-5 oz a week rather than the usual 6-8 oz. It made me feel v inadequate so I gave up going. The charts are quite old and I could see DD was growing because of her clothes, as could people like my mum who didn't see her all the time, so I figured I'd do without the stress. HVs can make you feel a bit on trial, which is the last thing you need with a small baby.

Keep in touch - sending you and DD big hug.

XXX

teacups · 10/01/2006 19:42

I mean support at home for you as well as DD - looking after poorly babies is very tough

Original poster

forevermore · 11/01/2006 11:05

thank you teacups

not sure how i'm doing at the moment. one minute i think she is doing okay and then (like this morning) i find her refusing bottles again. i feel like this is tearing my heart out. the added anxiety of her not having been a big bouncing baby that fed fed fed (as it seems all babies but mine do) is not helping

sorry feeling very sorry for myself and not knowing how to cope or where to go from here. due back at work in about 6 weeks and thought by now i would be in the swing of things and now i feel that i am gonna be a wreck.....my dh does all he can but works nights so cannot really support me emotionally rightnow. also feel that i ever talk to him about these days is my worries with not coping some marriage!

feel like world is falling apart right now. funnily i feel that if dd would start feeding nor,ally everything else would fall into place....i wonder if she knows that she has so much power

OP posts:

tiktok · 11/01/2006 11:21

forevermore, I am so sorry to hear about your distress.

I think you need more help than a talkboard can give you.

You are very upset about something that really doesn't merit this much unhappiness. Can you talk to your HV, your partner, your doctor about this feeling that the world is falling apart?

It is understandable to be concerned about a 23-week old baby with a cold who is off her food, but I can't help feeling there are other (food-related? Control-related?) issues here that are affecting you - crying a lot is not right, and you know yourself it is not (surely) just the fact your baby seems to be off her bottles.

I hope you get help.

dexter · 11/01/2006 11:50

Forevermore, hope all goes well. I agree with all the re-assuring posts here particularly lucykate, because I alsways found with my son that illness made him go off his food - particularly colds because of the snot making him feel sick.

Your baby sounds absolutely fine and WILL eat again normally. Not all babies are big eaters and I knew mums whose babies just ate like birds - everyone is different! It is terrifying when your baby is ill so I'm not making light of it but your anxiety level about it is very high indeed.
How are you in general? Is your mood good in general or do you feel low? Are you this anxious about everything or just some things? It could be that you need some help for YOU - do you think you could talk to your GP about how you feel?
You are doing a fab job being a hugely loving mother by the way, I think you should give yourself a pat on the back.

If it helps, as my child has got older (now three) I have learned that part of being a mum is learning to resist that strong urge to compare children one with another - pointless! Your child will do some things early, some things late, some things differently, and it all comes out in the wash. xx

dexter · 11/01/2006 11:54

I always forget something I meant to say!! Someone told me to never look at how a child eats in one day - it just doesn't matter. Look at a whole week and then judge. apparently children often have 'feast and famine' days and your baby may be one of those who do this. It's surprising how much your child can get through in a week, even with the odd day of having almost nothing.

Original poster

forevermore · 11/01/2006 12:31

thank u dexter for your words of encouragement.

you and tiktok are both right of course i do have an underlying anxiety problem. when i was pregnant i had a course of CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) and things seemed alright for a while but once i had the baby it all went down hill again.

i would like to seek more help with this, but feel frightened to go to GP again. do not want them to look at me as not being able to cope and hence be labelled and 'watched over'.

i would never hurt or harm my baby intentionally but i know whilst i am like this is will be inevitably harming her emotionally and she may go down the same route as me which i wouldn't wish on anyone.

if anyone has advice about a society or organistation that i could go to for more information regarding private help i would be grateful.

thanks again

OP posts:

tiktok · 11/01/2006 12:40

forevermore, you are brave to understand you need help.

Can you return to where you had the CBT and ask to pick it up agan? This should be easy enough, and you wouldn't have to go through your GP again. I understand about not wanting to be labelled or watched over. Good health visitors - there are some - should understand this, however, and should be supportive not 'watchful'.

Mental well-being (of the mother) is important, as you say, to a baby's own emotional and psychological development, and you will not only benefit yourself in getting help, but your daughter.

Try to get help soon, as worrying about the effect of your distress on your baby will add to your anxiety. There is no shame in needing help with this. A third of the population have mental health problems at some point in their lives.

dexter · 11/01/2006 13:44

Forevermore, if I was a GP and a mother presented herself asking for further help due to some difficulty applying the CBT techniques after having a baby, I would be pleased to refer on and would think she was a very sensible insightful patient, to know when to ask for help!

I also think (but am not an expert obviously) that it's worth ruling out post-natal depression, which is incredibly common and for which there is help available.

Think of yourself as going to the dr for your daughter, which I know you would do in an instant if she were ill - with this you are helping yourself in order to give her a mum who is best placed to meet all her emotional needs. Go for it and good luck xx

teacups · 11/01/2006 19:26

Forevermore, you are being very brave in admitting you need help. I agree with Dexter that it is worth seeing the GP to rule out post natal depression. Everyone has periods after having a baby when it gets too much - it usually rights itself in a couple of days, but when it doesn't it is worth checking that everything is OK as there is so much marvellous treatment for PND which can help you feel better. If your GP is going to judge you, it is worth changing GPs! You want to talk to a Dr who is interested in you and your family - any Dr who isn't or who would label you negatively is not going to be the best for your family in the long term.

I too was very anxoius about going back to work - takes some getting used to but is fine. There are lots of threads on this as many women are edgy about it. Take care x

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