tandem feeding - please tell me he will settle..

[honneybunny]

hi, it's me again, hoping for some reassurance from the nork squad . i have been tandemfeeding ds1 (2 yo) and ds2 (3w+) for just over 3 weeks now. so far things are going well, but now ds1 had a little bug over the weekend (fever, vomiting, cough, etc) and he suddenly started demand feeding again. before birth he was down to about 2 feeds a day (mornings in bed and evenings before bedtime). but last night he suddenly came 3 times, and all during the weekend he has fed just like ds2 about every 2 hours. this is exhausting me, and tbh is not a lot of fun either: i enjoy feeding both of them at the same time, but ds1 is very unsettled at the boob. if i refuse him completely he starts shouting, throwing things around and hitting both me and dh. i am hoping it is all from the illness he had. what do you guys think??
and is there a better way to deal with ds1? he is a bit too young to understand the taking turns principle. but is there any way i can make him see that even if he doesn't get to drink right away, that there will be some time for him to drink? and is there a gentle way to get him down to just the 2 feeds a day, or should i persist in what i have been doing (just give him whenever he wants, more or less...) and he will settle by himself at some point (hopefully soon). all your advise is v.welcome!!

Hia. Well, as you'll know from replying on my post, I don't know anything about tandem feeding, but I did have the illness aspect with DS just before xmas.

He went from once a day, to on demand - 5+ times a day. And it was exhausting, and I only had him, so you must really be feeling it. After the illness had passed, he did ask for milk a lot more often for a couple of weeks, and now (three ish weeks later) will still ask a couple of times a day. I just say that we don't have milk at such and such a time, and that he has to wait until bedtime. He's getting the message slowly again.

It must be difficult though if he is seeing somebody else having the milk though.

No advice really then. Just sympathy. I hope your DH is helping lots, and that you're getting lots to eat and drink to keep up with the demand. Best wishes.

hi laura, thanks for your sweet message. it's just what you say: it's tough on ds1 to see his little brother lurking away, when i tell him that he has to wait a bit. i am trying to find a good position to feed both of them in bed (at night), as this will probably put all three of us to sleep in not too long.
fortunately dh is v.supportive: on the synchronised feeding bit he thinks i am a bit crazy, but admires me for trying. he helps ds1/2 latching on, and reads books with ds1 while ds2 feeds, and ds1's not having any. this distraction game is a good one, it does usually work for at least a little while.