Advice needed please - don't know what to do

[handbagCrab]

Hi :)

I was hoping someone could help/ advise me on my situation with my newborn. I'm going go try and put in all the details so I apologise for the length or unimportant info in advance :)

My baby was born on Monday by emergency cesaerian (sp) as he was 15 days overdue, there was meconium in my waters and I had an infection and a temperature. He weighed over 9 pounds on delivery and is a very healthy boy with no complications.

We started to breastfeed when I was in recovery and due to poor latch my nipples were in a right state but I didn't realise due to the pain relief I'd had.

The next day I breastfed but at night he was really upset so he had a bit of formula from a cup from a midwife which allowed him to get some sleep.

The next day I fed for 9 out of 11 hours and he was screaming and crying nearly the whole time he wasn't on the breast. It was very stressful. I had about 10 midwives assess our latch and position so we were 'doing it right' In the end i broke down in tears and a midwife gave him a cup feed. He fell asleep happily.

We realised that he was starving at this point and decided to mix feed that night, with breast been offered first. The first mixed feed he refused breast but has taken it all subsequent feeds bar one since.

The thing is, he is drinking loads for his age. According to my breastfeeding stuff his stomach capacity should be around 30ml give or take? He's putting away around forty mins to an hour of breastmilk then between 40-90mls of formula for most feeds. I am concerned about how much he is eating. I have mentioned it to my midwife and she didnt seem concerned but still... He's not throwing it up and produces a range of wet and dirty nappies.

My other main concern is the amount of feeds he has. For example, today he has had 6 big feeds. I have tried everyday to wake him up to have more little feeds but he's not having any of it.

I'm really worried as I keep looking at official advice and I can't seem to make it work for us at the moment. I feel terrible as apparently all the good work I'm trying to do with breastfeeding is a waste if I give formula and according to the midwife I will dry up if I continue to mix feed. But I don't want my baby to be starving hungry again as I feel the stress of this on his system must be worse than having breast milk and formula?

I'm also worrying about myself. I've seen regimes to try and up breast milk production but I'm just not up to it yet. I think by the middle of next week I could try - would it work or would it be too late? I keep crying about this and it's making me really miserable. I don't want to feel bad about breastfeeding as it should be a lovely thing to do but it hurts to think my baby is not getting enough milk.

I'm more about the health benefits of breastfeeding than the ideology of it tbh and I have been lectured to by the breastfeeding midwife who came in to my room, lectured and then flounced out as I was discharged as she knew I had been mix feeding and felt she had to tell me off. I feel I'd like help with the situation I'm in, not the ideal scenario which hasn't worked for us yet.

Baby has been checked for tongue tie and I have a doula coming round to support me on Monday afternoon to check latch etc. I am confident baby is drinking lots of breast milk as he does a range of sucks/pulls, swallows regularly and has milk round his mouth when finished. In an hour of breastfeeding he is actively sucking at least 90% of the time and not going to sleep or just sucking for comfort, or if he is he's sucking for comfort with the veracity of a Hoover!

Has there been anyone else in our situation or could support us as I'm finding it really hard at the moment.
Thanks for reading to the end :)

I am prepared to be shot down here but the evidence appears to me to be that breast feeding may be marginally better than formula, but a lot of problems with formula relate to inadequate preparation of bottle or drink (ie not properly cleaning bottles and not properly mixing feeds). There is also thoughts that people who have a healthy lifestyle are more likely to breastfeed, but also pass this knowledge onto children - ie the health benefits to mother and child would occur anyway because of the way you spend time researching the best way to do things.
I would never say don't breastfeed, but don't beat yourself up about it not being the only way to feed -If the child needs more or it is not working, then use formula properly and you will have a happy and healthy child.
Basically do what he needs and do not stress about this as you have enough things to worry about.

Hey hang in there the first weeks are tough esp post cs
Ok I Bf from the start, 'twas painful & long for a bit but suddenly clicked for both of us
I started mix feeding when DS was a bit older so can assure you I have no judgements, I would say the following based on what you've written... I get the impression you want to Bf so more from that angle

1. Bf takes a bit of time to establish for both if you, ff is easier for baby as they need to suck less, as soon as they latch properly it becomes much easier- nb that's about them ring used to it too
2. Get la Leche or NCT round now to help- both have Bf supports who are kind gentle and helpful
3. Or maybe this should have been 1! Get lansinoh in now, lots of it and warm it first so it goes on more easily

4 nothing wrong with mix feeding 5 when they get bigger and feed less Bf easier as have free hand to use phone eat sandwich change tv etc!!! 6 you're the mum, go with what feels right- also if you're worried about too much food etc phone hv till they come & help observe etc You're doing a great job This phase will pass It will I promise

I had an EMCS too, and a big baby who lost a lot of weight. We mix fed, topping up after every feed, for about five weeks. Now baby is EBF at 13 weeks. So mix feeding won't necessarily harm your supply. I expressed after every most feeds and that helped.

Try not to stress and take every feed as it comes. Hopefully your doula will be able to help and take advantage of the different BF helplines.

I would complain about that midwife!

And congratulations, enjoy your baby!

You poor thing. I had to mix feed for three weeks but then could ebf. Dd still bf at 16 months! My advice would be to not worry about baby having too much, if you go with your baby's cues you can't overfeed. Always offer breast before formula. Can you then express after the feed and offer anything you get as a top up? If baby still hungry offer breast agin, if unsettled maybe then formula? Basically I had to do everything possible to make sure dd had max breast mik and also express to protect my supply and then I only gave formula after that. But it was exhausting so difficult. There us nothing wrong with
Mix feeding if it feels right for you. Take care of yourself and well done.

Congratulations on your baby boy!

Can I ask how topping up occurs? If DS is taking a lot of milk during a bf why is a top up offered? Do you swap sides during the feed? Do you keep baby on you skin to skin as much as you can? Are you expressing (either by hand or with a pump) when you offer top ups?

It's really early days and TBH I would expect a newborn to spend the vast majority of their time either bfing, sleeping on mum (or dad) or comfort suckling. Obviously if a baby isn't taking to the breast or latches on then falls asleep topping up may be appropriate but one who feeds well, I'm not so sure I'd offer anything except another side even if it was side no.3 or side no.7