Health professionals assuming bfing will stop at 1 year?

[reastie]

Had a mw visit today, dd is 9mo. I was asking her advice re: feeding and going back to work with logistics and how dd will adapt. It seemed like she had an assumption that I would give up bfing at a year and give dd cows milk. She said as long as DD has the equivalent of a pint of milk (which can also include dairy products eaten) a day she would be fine. I was under the impression that the longer you are able to bf the better the benefits for DD.

Is it unusual to feed beyond 1 year? I wondered if it's common for health professionals to assume you don't bf past a year. I felt a bit as I'm sure I read the WHO recommend it to 2 years, and I had hoped to do one or two feeds a day in morning/evening until DD didn't want it any longer, or until she reaches 2, whichever comes first.

I am feeding my 26 month old and just had another baby 5 weeks ago, when the health visitor came she started telling me that when the baby was 6 months I would need to learn to sterilise and stuff??
Looked horrified when told my first little boy was still feeding...

I know lots of people who bf past a year, some more open about it than others - I think it can depend on how often the baby feeds. DS rarely demands a feed in the day now, so a lot of people probably don't know we are still feeding. DS is 15m and I find I am open about it with some but not others. I wouldn't ever deny it if I was asked a direct question though.

The last time I saw an HV (when Ds was 11m) she was great, told me I was doing a fab job and just carry on till I wanted to stop. I was pleasantly suprised :)

I liked using the phrase 'I think you'll find that bollocks' I was upset when DD weaned at 14 months due to pregnancy, especially since we don't do dairy so I had the stress of worrying about 'dairy' intake.

I'm still feeding DS (14m) and am 22w pregnant with #2 (down to one feed a day now, unless he sneaks on at other times!).
My midwife was very pro-BF and told me when he was born that she fed her two til they were both 2. However she's recently been a bit weird about me feeding in pregnancy and told DS the other day that he'd have to stop soon. Was a bit at that after she's been so pro-BF!!

I plan to BF as long as possible but here past 6 weeks is an achievement, past 3 months (standard ML length) unusual and past 6 months viewed positively dangerous. Babies becoming too attached to their mummies

I like nodding, smiling and then saying 'I must have misunderstood you because seem to say the compete opposite'

We have no reason to stop and it's not like it's hurting him

BeyondthelimitsofAcceptability - what reason did your MW give for that?? She should meet mine. She is very pro BF and was very supportive when I got pregnant - chatted about my diet, fluid intake, nipple pain and checked I had the right phone numbers to speak to others in my situation. I had gone in expecting to have to be very defensive!

www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html for those interested in the natural human age of weaning.

DS2 is 18 months and I feed him in public whenever required. Because of this loads of people tell me how they fed theirs to 1/2/3/4+ years who would otherwise never have said so (why would they).

It's far more common that anyone realises because it's less common to feed in public when they're older, often just because they feed less during the day than an infant.

Crobbie - My MW didn't even bat an eyelid when she found out I was tandem nursing during my last pg. She did query how I would cope if all 3 wanted feeding at once but I explained they would just have to go in age order with littlest getting first go.

It just so happened DD1 self weaned a month before DD3 was born so I had one month of just DD2. I've done 4 years of tandem nursing now (apart from that 1 month) as DD2 just turned 4.

She didnt give a reason Crob she more seemed to assume that I wouldnt be happy with him continuing to feed, at our first meeting I mentioned it was a bit sore and she said, "dont worry, he'll probably wean on his own soon" which I didnt think twice about, I thought she was trying to reassure me.

When she said the other day to DS about stopping (as I said, hes only 14m, its not like she was telling an older child who'd understand, so not bothered by that exactly), I just said there was no rush for him to stop, I was happy with him carrying on

OK, speaking of feeding older babies/toddlers - what age should I try to drop dds afternoon feed? She currently has 3 feeds a day - first thing, afternoon and evening. She's 9mo. Hv says I could/should stop the afternoon feed at 10 months and offer her solids instead. I'm back to work when she's 10.5 months so this would be a bit easier for DH as I'll be home with her every afternoon bar one which is where he would formula feed. Just wondering if I should stop the milk feeds in afternoon at 10 months or carry on with bfing/ff once a week

reastie my DS dropped his feeds down from 7am, 2pm, 7pm, 12am, 4am to one morning and one night literally overnight, on his own at about 10.5 months, when I was about 6 weeks pregnant. Not sure if that was cause I was pregnant or if he would have done it anyway :)

Does that mean I should wait for her to drop them herself of offer her solids and see beyond ? I stopped her morning feed by just offering her yoghurt and rice cakes in place of milk and she seemed fine with that but didn't actively drop the milk herself

I'd say see if she was happy with the solids, and offer her milk after if she wasnt happy? My DS would always have a feed if it was offered, even now I reckon he'd feed all day everyday (in fact since he discovered he could ask for "boo" hes started asking more in the day!), but he'd also be perfectly happy if it wasnt offered

I wouldn't have thought a 9m old would be dropping any feeds yet. All 3 of mine still had a full complement of feeds (6-8 in the day time) until well after 1 (DD1 had 4 feeds a night at 12m when we night weaned her).

Lots of information on introducing complementary foods here. In it (pg 21) it talks about a study done where caregivers were encouraged to offer 5 complementary feeds a day which had the (unintended) effect of dropping day time feeds from an avg. of 6.9 to 3.7. The babies were 19-24m of age.

You do mention going back to work so is the weaning to 3 feeds a day intentional due to the return to work or because the HV suggests that is all that is needed?

christmas nn change btw but reastie here

truth that link is v interesting and can I be honest and say I had no idea those bf babies at 9 months it was still common for so many feeds a day . I give her 3 feeds a day as that's how it worked - she did have at 5/6 months 5 milk feeds a day and alot of snacking in the evening, over time the lunch, morning snack and dinner milk feeds have turned to solids, leaving 3 feeds a day left. I have always known I would be back to work when dd was 10 mo but I am only working mornings and one full day, so theoretically I could continue bfing in the afternoon feed and dh could give formula the afternoon he has dd (assuming she will take it). It was only as hv seemed to think it usual/fine to drop the afternoon milk feed to solids that I thought that would make it easier for dh and I when I return to work, although initially I thought babies had a milk feed in the afternoon until they are 1, so now I'm unsure! HV says 2 milk feeds a day is fine at 10 months...

beyond that was what i was thinking I might try

really interesting thread!

I'm BF my 9.5 mth old, expressing during the work day and he's having a morning and afternoon bottle of expressed milk at nursery, but only a couple of ounces each time.

he seems to get most of his milk feeds in his pre-bedtime feed and one at about 5am. he has a tendency to "snack" through the night.

i have no idea how long i'll bf for, until he self weans most likely.

i'm a lazy cow - bf is easy for me, least fiddly/messy and means endless cuddles and a sufficient amount of sleep (co-sleeping).

i've moved recently and where i was before there were lots of bf mums with children in a huge range of ages. where i live now it mostly seems to be ff, with a scarce few bf past a few weeks. there's no real change in the demographics between the two places, but the HV here are demonstrably less well-informed and less positive about bf. miserable to think that their attitudes/lack of knowledge might be at least part of the reason.

Yes, my DS had a full complement of 6 or 7 day feeds (plus 1-5 night ones) till well past 1. It was only from about 11 months that a bf wouldn't do instead of a solid meal (despite the fact that he took to solids enthusiastically from 6 m.o.).

In fact, he still has that many day feeds now at nearly 2, and depending on how he's sleeping, often several at night too.

No idea re: dropping feeds. Do you feel you have to? My lot just gradually cut down but not until the age of 2+. DD is 2.9 and still nurses fairly frequently (always nursed on cue so no idea as to timings) but I thinkg is slowly cutting down and often goes through the night too. She does however nurse lots more when ill or tired.

wo dd nurses more when ill too - bit worried what will happen on that front when I'm working but not sure what else I can do. I don't have to stop afternoon feeds when I'm back at work, just thought it would be easier so we don't have to worry about dh doing a formula once a week. Maybe we'll try it when she is 10 months instead of dropping the milk feed for solids to see if it works or not

reastie interestingly enough the afternoon feed is the one ds was least relucant to stop of all of the daytime feeds (not that I particularly dropped any intentionally, just fed whenever he wanted). Even now (at 15m) when mostly he only has wake up and bedtime feeds, if I am with him in the day (I work ft so really only weekends) he often has an afternoon feed. Personally in your situ I would keep the feed up when you're with her and see if she's happy to go without on the one afternoon you're not. they're pretty adaptable so you may find this works fine :)

Reastie - she'll probably just nurse more at night I'm afraid.

I still BF my 15 month old, and she only really dropped feeds after a year old as she didn't eat much till she went to nursery at 12 months. She can last 8hours at nursery without milk (she doesn't take a bottle or cows milk as a feed), but she does make up for it on our days off.
I have no qualms BF her publicly, never any negative comments.
HV's are pretty clueless when it comes to BF in my experience.
When I went for DD's 8-10 months check (She was nearly 11 month then), she said that DD really has to eat more (like I was depriving her of food or something, she was a spoon refusef, and I had already BLW my DS, so knew how things go with solids when they only self feed), and that BF was "just a drink" at her age. I wish I had challenged her on it, but instead I just smiled and said nothing. I knew she was talking bollocks so it didn't bother me. There was also a trainee HV sitting in on the appointment, and now I really wish I did say something like,, even the WHO says at 1yr, BM should be atleast 50% of a babies calories....which does mean that it's not just a drink!

Very interesting comments. wot I'd rather feed her in the day than at night for sure but she hasn't needed a night feed (aside from when she's been ill) since she was about 4/5 months . choc that's the sort of thing I'd do too - wish I had said something but at the time just smile and say yes

Hello everyone, just wanted to say how interesting and reassuring I've found this thread. Thank you all.

My DD is 10 months, and I can't imagine stopping bf any time soon. I'd always assumed that I'd bf for a year, as that's "what people do and any longer than that is a bit " ... but now I just can't imagine giving up the convenience, the comfort for DD, the feeding her to sleep, the knowing I can help. At this point, I can't imagine refusing to bf her and so I'm thinking I'll just let her self-wean. I'm not at work atm, so there's no reason not to really. I'm feeling slightly daunted about this, mostly because I expect my family's/IL's reactions to be negative, but it's good to know that there's a source of support here. :)

Interesting to hear about the number of feeds too. DD typically feeds 5 times during the day and sometimes at my bedtime, and if she's ill then I feed her in the night too. My closest Mummy-friend is doing things totally differently, following a GF routine since day 1, and very goal-oriented about is dropping feeds and stopping bf; I feel like I'm totally chaotic in comparison, so it's really good to know that I'm not the only one who's trying to be sort of demand-led with an older baby/toddler.

here here dust