Should I change sides?

[Pastabee]

I'm hoping for some advice.... DD is one week old. I think I'm doing well - needed a lot of help in the hospital but it finally clicked and she feeds for between 10 minutes and 40 minutes every 3 1/2 hours. I didn't instigate this - was happy to do what she wanted but she seems to want the routine.

I'm only offering one breast at each feed (once or twice she has burped and come off and I've put her back on other side). My mum came yesterday and told me I was doing it all wrong and that I should change sides after 10 minutes. She is critical and tactless anyway but she's made me question everything I am doing in terms of feeds.

Please could I have opinions of changing sides and the times when she feeds for only 10 minutes. The 10 minute feed follows a mega feed and she comes off 'drunk' and happy so I assumed it was ok.

As far as I know the changing sides after 10 minutes is what they used to do (MIL was given that advice when dh was born, along with only feeding for 20 mins max).

The advice was given was to only change sides after each feed as otherwise the baby won't get to the hindmilk. I think once the baby finishes with one side it's fine to offer the other though.

I meant the advice I was given.

It sounds like your doing great. I'd second what Magneto said about the feed for ten minutes each side being out of date.

I think parents often think their way was the right way and anything else is a veiled criticism of them. Which is nuts of course.

Kellymom has lots of advice about Breastfeeding. It says (like Magneto) to offer unlimited time on the first breast while they are actively sucking. Then after that you can offer the second breast if they want it.

Congratulations btw!

I was told to give them the first breast until they come off of their own accord, and then offer the second breast as 'dessert'

First, I'd like to say congratulations on the birth of your baby and persevering with the breast feeding. It is tough in the early days, but hang in there.

I would completely feed from one side and if baby is still hungry then switch to other side. If not still hungry, then feed from the other side on the next feed. This was the advice I was given from the NCT breastfeeding advisor. I would sometimes forget which side I fed from last time, but you can feel the weight of the breast and know, and that side might feel slightly uncomfortable too.

I successfully fed four babies for a year or more each using this advice. I also let baby decide when he wanted to be fed (no schedules or time limits).

As for dealing with MIL, I would tactfully say 'that I appreciate her interest in DD's growth and development, but this is my DD and I will do things the way DH and I want to. Also if I'd like advice, I will ask for it, and then choose whether or not to follow it.'

Again, many congrats!

I found the modern advice quite vague and contradictory, but I am clear that it wasn't "change sides every 10 mins." I started off with the impression that I was to offer one breast at each feed, and certainly some of my peers found that this served them well all the way to the end of bf. I eventually felt that it wasn't working for me, and I used a complex "offer first breast twice, then switch" system of my own devising for a long time. Kellymom explains why it suits some babies to go after both breasts and some not to, but it's pretty subtle stuff. I think if you're getting drunk/contented baby results then what your doing is probably suiting yours just now!

'10 minutes a side' is massively outdated, and how rude of your mum to undermine you like this :(

I collect old babycare advice books ('tis the geek in me) and '10 minutes a side' was known to be wrong 40 years ago. It makes no sense, given we now know how bf works and how individual babies can be.

However the fact your mum says this gives you a clue that anything she says about feeding can safely be ignored

Haha tiktok that's funny because Dh is only 22! Nice to know MIL got the most up to date advice for her pfb!

Thanks everyone. I normally ignore her but I guess I might still be a bit hormonal still from DD's birth.

I think I need to learn to trust my instincts a bit more - the midwife says if the baby seems happy and satisfied and there are plenty of dirty and wet nappies you're getting along fine.

The other thing is she is miniature at 6lb 15oz so I'm not sure her tummy is big enough yet to have a massive, two side feed every time - sure she will get there soon enough!!!