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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Why is this happening?????

25 replies

Viagrafalls · 25/11/2011 20:09

I have posted a few times in this topic and had some great advice but this feels like something new and I'm at the end of my tether.
Our little girl was 3 months old on saturday and is formula fed with a few little Breast feeds in between. Over the last few weeks she has gone from happily taking 4oz every 3 hour during the day to struggling to take 2/3 oz and she will fight against it. i have tried feeding her when she isn't too hungry or tired but she just screams as soon as the bottle goes in her mouth. The only way I can get her to feed is to sooth her to sleep and then 'dream' feed her, but this is obviously not the way to do it all the time. i have been a nanny for 20 years and never had anything like this before, giving baby a bottle was always really relaxing/bonding and now it is so distressing for both of us, it feels like i am always crying because we are going backwards. I am so scared that she is going to associate feeding with being distressed. It feels so unfair and it feels like I'm being punished for not breast feeding her - I had so many problems in the beginning and combination feeding was the best solution but I still feel so guilty about it.
i have tried feeding her more often and less often but nothing seems to change it. Does anyone else have any experience of something like this? I am so tired of weeping over this. I had eating disorders as a teenager and adult and i want her to develop healthy eating habits and i'm so scared that this is my fault - am I doing something wrong??

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Original poster
Viagrafalls · 25/11/2011 20:42

Please anyone?

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dribbleface · 25/11/2011 20:55

hi. i had similar troubles with my ds1, all of a sudden, about the same age. i too was unable to breast feed him. i tried lot's of things to solve it, faster flowing teat's etc. in the end doc brown bottles and confort milk solved it, think he was uncomfortable. I'm a nursery nurse too and i think it's harder when you think you should know what to do. i worried my boy was wasting away but looking back at Photo's he was a little fat ball! if your worried perhaps see your gp to rule out any medical reasons. sorry for short and badly punctuated reply, on phone and my fingers are too fat for the keys!

AlwaysRocking · 25/11/2011 20:58

No advice but just wanted to tell you my dd was just like this at that age. Despite not eating much she was always healthy and didn't lose weight. I just went with it and got most down her at night and after naps. I know it is horrible when they fight you and it is really upsetting. I hope it passes soon for you.

thisisyesterday · 25/11/2011 20:59

i would just go with it.
the way i see it is this. if she was breastfed you would have NO idea how much milk she was having. You'd feed on demand, and you'd trust her to eat as much as she needed.

it works with bottles too. unfortunately you have the added stress of actually being able to see exactly what she is taking though!

but honestly, just go with what she wants. if she only wants a tiny bit just give her a tiny bit
if she wants a bit more 15 minutes later then go with that too.,

is it possible she is teething? it might be uncomfortable for her sucking on the bottle?
what is she like on the breast?

AlwaysRocking · 25/11/2011 21:01

And please do not feel you are being punished. I switched to ff early on due to the pain and felt very guilty for a long time but now am coming to realise that we all have to do the best we can.

MyDogAteMyHomework · 25/11/2011 21:04

My DD is the same age as yours, and she went through the same a little while age. She did grow out of it. As long as she is putting on weight I wouldn't worry easier said than done

Have you spoke to your HV/GP? She could have reflux.

Don't beat yourself up about ff. there is something that my HV told me about ff. Dd wasn't pooing much (sorry TMI) and I was worried. She said that the brand of formula I was using was that close to breast milk, which is why she didnt.

I'm sure she will be fine

Original poster
Viagrafalls · 25/11/2011 21:08

Sometimes she will happily suckle for ages on my breast, other times she will scream at that as well. Should also add that she only poos every 2/3 days and clearly gets very grumpy and uncomfortable in the hours before she goes.
We went to the drs today and she couldnt really help at all.
My OH thinks it might be reflux but she is fine lying down and is soothable, I remember looking after a reflux baby and she was inconsolable so I dont think its that. Its only when she feeds. I am going to try and take a chill pill but its sooo hard when its your baby!!!! I have started to dread feeding times, tonight I just cried and cried.

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newmum953 · 25/11/2011 21:09

Please don't think you are doing anything wrong. I would go straight to your doctor as there could be a very logical reason for this happening. (not saying your situation is the same as mine at all as that could only be deduced by a doctor but when my baby wouldn't drink it was because she had reflux and when she sucked she would get painful bursts of acid from her stomach - didn't make drinking a very good experience for her.) Things always seem more scary when it's just you and baby and lack of sleep. All I'm saying basically is to share the problem with your doc - hopefully it will make you feel much better and he/she will be able to make suggestions that you may not have thought of.

newmum953 · 25/11/2011 21:13

I see you said your doctor wasn't much help. Are you able to change to a different doctor? I found having one that took me seriously made all the difference to my stress level.

Original poster
Viagrafalls · 25/11/2011 21:36

Is it possible that she could have reflux that has only just started or only happens when she is trying to feed? She is pretty chilled most of the time and at night she has just started to wake more often but i just thought this could be down to a growthspurt messing her about. If it was reflux wouldn't every feed including the night feeds/dream feeds also be a problem? she takes these no problem, its so confusing!

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thisisyesterday · 25/11/2011 21:41

i would agree that it doesn't sound too much like reflux.
definitely more likely something making her uncomfortable while feeding, which is why i wondered about teeth.
did the GP check her ears?

TruthSweet · 25/11/2011 21:44

Has she been checked for a Tongue Tie? That can cause issues with feeding (even from a bottle) as the tongue cannot milk the teat/breast as it should (the tongue can bunch up instead of cupping the teat/breast and it gets pushed out/chewed on).

Just a thought - it's possibly not but worth ruling out.

Original poster
Viagrafalls · 25/11/2011 21:46

Yes, ears checked. I told her about the feeding and she just said to talk to the HV. I am wondering if it could be something to do with trapped wind or something - she burps really easily but is windy from her bottom and sometimes i can hear her stomach gurgling when she swallows/gulps. She can get into quite a little frenzy, pulling hard on the teat one minute an arching her back the next. Sad

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dribbleface · 25/11/2011 21:48

if you think it's wind i really would recommend doc brown bottles.

HerdOfTinyElephants · 25/11/2011 21:52

It could easily be wind, from your description. Three months is later than normal for it to suddenly start being a problem, though. Have you tried bicycling legs/tummy massage/assorted other anti-wind things (I'm never sure which really work and which don't).

Original poster
Viagrafalls · 25/11/2011 22:02

truthsweet she had a tongue tie, and it was snipped when she was 3 days old.
Am off to bed now as am so tired from crying all evening. Will check tomorrow for any more replies. Thank-you all so much Smile

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TruthSweet · 25/11/2011 22:11

Not to be pessimistic but has it been checked recently? Sometimes bands of tissue can be unbunch when the original tie is cut and need to be re-done (not always though).

I have heard great things about cranial osteopathy and previously TT babies as they can have residual tension in their head/neck from the TT so that may be something to bear in mind.

TruthSweet · 25/11/2011 22:13

Hope you get a restful night and things look brighter in the morning.

Original poster
Viagrafalls · 26/11/2011 10:20

Morning everyone - well, the night went as normal, no problem with the night feeds but she has now only had 2 oz since 3am this morning - she seems okay, it just worries me so much! I am currently sterilising a new Dr Brown bottle s o I will try that in a while.

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dribbleface · 26/11/2011 11:36

bless you it's so worrying isn't it. let us know how today goes. if no better i would go back to doctors. is she having wet and dirty nappies?

Original poster
Viagrafalls · 26/11/2011 13:55

It went as usual - she cried and arched Sad i spoke to a friend with teenage girls and she said her daughter did this when she was having a growth spurt, sort of tailed off the feeding as all the energy was going into growth and nothing could make her feed. I just assumed that she would want extra during spurts to help her cope with growing IYSWIM...so she's had another ounce since half ten and seems happy enough. She also slept for two hours which is unheard of in this house!
Am currently popping the bottle in every hour or so and if she seems interested then she can have it. If i sound calmer its an illusion. I'm still in tears about the whole affair!

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featherblue · 26/11/2011 14:53

viagrafalls my DD did something eerily similar at the same age -- snipped tt, mixed feeding b/c unable to bf, small amounts and fussiness. It turned out to be reflux and meds really helped. See thread here.

She became much better with gaviscon in every bottle feed and ranitidine. We were given lactulose for occasional constipation from the gaviscon. Arching of the back is a common reflux symptom. I would ask your GP for a trial of gaviscon.

Hope things settle down soon. It's so hard.

Original poster
Viagrafalls · 26/11/2011 15:30

featherblue that could be ME!
I am constantly thinking that it wouldnt matter if i was BF as well. What concerns me with the Gaviscon is that she only has a poo every 3 days and is already uncomfortable, I suffer from constipation myself since I got pregnant and am in agony so would hate to give her anything that might make her more constipated. She has been really content today without me forcing her to feed her every 5 minutes. Am going to read your old thread in detail now. how old is your DD now?

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pipoca · 26/11/2011 15:37

teething? I know it's early but a friend had similar for about 10 days with a four month old and then a tooth popped thru and all went back to normal and another friend's baby had no problems feeding but baby teethed from 6 weeks old, tooth finally popping thru at 11 weeks.

featherblue · 26/11/2011 17:34

She's now 5 months and we are, amazingly, still mixed feeding and she's now off all meds. Have PMd you. xx

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