Why does my baby scream blue murder whenever presented with my boob??!!

[PrincessCheeks]

My son is a week old and its been a bit of a stressful start - after a 14 hour labour i had to have an emergency c-section as at 9cm dilated the head just wouldn't come down and was stuck....on top of that i got a headache called a dural tap which is a bad side effect of having an epidural - and i couldn't sit up for anymore than a few minutes without being in agony and having to lie flat....so breastfeeding was slow to start - i managed to syringe some colostrum off in the first day or so and feed him that way but breast feeding just wasn't happening. my milk is in now but every time i start breastfeeding - he gets in a perfect position and latches but at the moment when most babies would suck he just cries and cries until he's red in the face!! I try and try until he's too upset and end up feeding him expressed milk. IF anyone has any advice on how i can get him to stop crying and start suckling i'd be very grateful - or is it too late?

:( :( what a difficult start for you, princess :( :(

There are a couple of reasons why this might be happening

• your baby has something that makes it painful for him to feed - perhaps a stiff neck or bruising on his head or shoulder
• your baby has been 'manhandled' by midwives or others in their attempts to 'get him to feed' - this does not have to be anything painful or obviously rough, but anything forceful can put some babies right off and they react in just the way you describe (other babies may 'switch off' and just go to sleep as soon as they come near the breast)

Perhaps you can have a good long conversation with whichever midwife you feel has shown you most support and think of ways to turn the situation around.

One thing to consider would be to keep your baby skin to skin all the time without actually trying to get him to feed (you 'trying and trying' to get him on is possibly making things worse at the moment). Just continue expressing and feeding him the way you are doing, and let him enjoy being snuggled in close to you without any 'pressure' to feed.

Co-bathing (if you can do this in hospital - you'll need help) is a great way to 'turn back the clock' with babies whose early days have been fraught.

Watch for signs your baby might want to latch on spontaneously, but don't push it!

These situations can get better in a day or so - so you have plenty of time :)

Sorry - you are prob not in hospital now. You can see the community midwife still and of course you can use your own bath at home, with another adult to help getting the baby in and out :)

He also may not be latching on properly and is just getting frustrated. You can't really make a baby feed, so trying and trying just ends up with you both getting frustrated and upset. Skin to skin is a good idea and you could try just lying down flat, or reclining right back on cushions, as many as it takes to make you comfy, and then having him on your chest and letting him find his own position and latching on by himself for feeding. Sometimes if the breast is very hard with milk, it's difficult for the baby to latch on so softening the breast first with hot flannel and a little expressing can help as well as you lying down which flattens the breast slightly so baby can get more breast in his mouth and not just nipple. Check
www.biologicalnurturing.com/ the term they use sounds a bit hippy, but when you look at the photos you might see some positions that will work for you - just experiment. I found these ideas about feeding positions really helpful.

Don't forget that to fully recline in bed or in a chair, you may need cushions or some other support under your feet or knees, as well as under your head and back, but it''s worth getting yourself really comfortable so you can take your time and not feel pressured or rushed.

Both the video and article are really focussed on you getting comfortable, so that baby can find it's own position to feed and has all the time it needs as well the reclining position leaving your hands free to do other things. The video suggests that dream-feeding, or sleepy-feeding is a good way to start, as you will both be feeling a lot more relaxed and not at all anxious or upset which can obviously hinder feeding.

I feel for you -DS did this at 9 weeks, went from perfectly calm to howling and screaming the moment he caught sight of my nipple. We never did manage to get him feeding again - I hope you have more luck.

The other thing I thought of was cranial osteopathy if he had a difficult birth and was stuck for a while.

I haven't tried it myself but friends who have had babies who seemed distressed in various situations (eg feeding, not wanting to be put down ever) were much calmer after they'd had a bit of cranial oesteopathy).

My DD had quite a difficult birth - three hours pushing, she was a bit stuck, in the end came out with forceps. She was a good feeder but very difficult to put down. My DS was born naturally in a 5 hour labour with only a 7 min pushing stage, and he is so chilled out and "easy" compared to DD that I wonder if she actually had a raging headache or discomfort in her early weeks.

DD did this. I just lay with my boob by her face and stroked her, she got the idea in the end. I also second the cranial osteopath suggestion. DD got battered in my EMCS and she was very stiff and sore,it really helped her.

Im not a breastfeeding expert at all but just some ideas.

Yes - definately do the cranial osteopathy regardless.

Do you have a fast let down which now your milk had come in he us finding the first few minutes like a hosepipe? Possibly express off the first bit was the advice given to me.

princess - how are you doing today? Has any of this helped?

wow, thanks all of you for all your great advice....had my first co-bath tonight and tomy surprise he was really happy and relaxed lying on top of me and did start rooting...didn't push him to feed tho but really feel it helped. earlier while in football hold he did latch more easily and didn't cry at all...but just didn't suck. i am expressing every 2 hours to increase my flow as even if he was feeding my supply isn't enough to satisfy him - i'm getting about 20/30 ml each express session - so although i do 2 for each feed - he needs between 50 and 70 ml to satisfy himself...will my milk flow ever increase? i'm on day 8 now

Princess, I found that my supply kept increasing over about the first fortnight, hopefully yours will too. What kind of pump are you using? I was able to get a lot more out when I switched to an electric pump. I've got a medela swing and it is really good. Hopefully your son will start feeding soon and you won't need to bother with expressing. My DD was similar to your son - appearing perfectly positioned on but screaming and not sucking. It turned out she was unable to latch on - couldn't get a grip for some reason. If your son is similar the exaggerated latch technique might help him. It's kind of tilting your nipple away from his mouth slightly to give him something to hook onto. I'm sure someone more knowledgeable will be able to give you a better explanation!

princess, you are making progress :)

When you express, go from side to side, switching when your flow becomes drips only....and try to use each side at least twice per session - this can increase results.

What do you think led to his upset at the breast?

Well my community midwife thinks it could have been because of the traumatic start with me having to lie on my back unable to do anything for the first few days cos of the headaches...also she said hospital midwives are quite forceful pushing baby on the breast when helping to position - which they were - so baby may still be associating this negative experience when put to the breast.
I have started regularly co-bathing which has been really positive....my boy just stares up at me contented - we've been staying there for nearly half an hour and each time by the end he's started rooting and making his own way down to my breast on his own.
Good news today tho - at 12 days old - he latched and sucked 3 or 4 times and a couple of the feeds - which he's having expressed before being presented with the boob....fingers crossed these baby steps will get me there eventually...i still need my supply to increase as i'm having to top him up with formula to keep up with his appetitie ...and i'm worried even if breastfeeding does start working i won't have enough milk to satisfy him.
I'll keep you posted xx