breast feeding all evening then takes 6oz bottle! Aaagh!!

[katiecrunch1]

My baby is 7 weeks old and I must admit that breast feeding has been difficult. I failed with my first after 10 days so was determined to succeed this time. However I am now considering giving up. In the evening she will feed more or less constantly.

I am one of those people who really need a lot of sleep (in bed by 9pm even before I had the baby!!) and was struggling with the lack of sleep due to the long evening feeds.

We decided that my husband would give her a bottle of formula (have tried expressing with no success) at 9pm so I could go to bed and get some sleep before the night feeds. I was amazed when she took a full 5 or 6 oz bottle after having fed from me all evening already. It is really dis-heartening and makes me wonder if she is actually getting anything from me!

In the evening she is generally feeding or being grizzly, so the other day I decided to give her a bottle earlier in the evening, at around 7pm, to see if it made a difference. She was a different baby- settled and calm, lying on her play gym, staring into her mirror. It mad me wonder if breast feeding is the right thing or if formula feeding would make a happier baby.

Am hoping that someone else has had a similar experience and can give me some advice. Any ideas? Should I persevere for a bit longer? Will it get easier? Any advice welcomed.

your baby is preparing your body to make more milk - the evening feeds are when all the hormones work best so babies cluster feed then to encourage more milk to be made for the next day, so to speak. that's not a v scientific explanation but it means it's incredibly normal for little babies to feed a lot in the evenings and it's really good for your milk supply to let them have feeds then, rather than using formula for the evening feed, although of course that's entirely up to you. all mine have also been boob monsters at around the 6/7 week mark. Is she growing well, putting on weight as expected, happy and alert some of the time during the day? if so, all is well with bf

My DS is now nearly 12 months, but I had a very similar time to you when starting breastfeeding. If I'm honest, my experience was that the first three months were knackering - but then something seemed to click and we've been going great guns since then - still bf'ing now and since 3 months it has been easy, convenient and a lovely thing to do with my DS.

DS would cluster feed for literally hours in the evening until he was about 3 months old, he was very grizzly from 5 onwards - please be reassured that this is all normal behaviour for a breastfeeding baby at that age

Like you, we were using a bottle of either expressed milk or formula before he went to bed and he would take a lot. DH would give him the bottle, I would go to bed and try to rest. The most important thing I was advised to is to express a final feed (stick it in the fridge/freezer) as you don't want your supply to drop.

If you are worried your DD isn't getting enough milk, you could get your latch checked (your HV should be able to put you in touch with a breastfeeding supporter), and keep an eye on weight (although don't worry if DD gains weight at a slower rate than formula fed babies, this is normal too!)

Good luck, it gets better

I understand how you must be feeling, i was the same with both of mine. I wanted them to have the best possible start in life, and drove myself mad with guilt that they were never contented after a feed but couldnt bear not to breast feed enjoyed being so close to them and thought i would loose that feeling by giving then a bottle, but then i began th dread then feeds because of the pain and tiredness, so i new it was time to stop i wanted to enjoy feeding them not dread it. After i put them on bottle feeds the were much happier and so was i, feeding had become enjoyable again.

My LO has always been the same hun, at night she happily downs 9oz after feeding from me all afternoon/evening! Ive given up being worried about it I just think she is generally very greedy! She will also feed from me again after having a 9oz bottle so its swings and roundabouts! As it is she has been ill last few days and has totally refused a bottle in favour of boob!

The thing is babies will often take more from a bottle than they need (especially if they are used to bfing with the ability to comfort suck without getting milk).

A bottle teat provides a huge amount stimulation to the baby to suckle, and as they suckle milk comes out which they swallow, swallowing creates a vacuum (nature abhors a vacuum!) so milk flows from the bottle into the baby's mouth so they swallow again creating another vacuum....

Giving 6oz of formula while you sleep means your baby is getting 6oz of milk that your body doesn't know it has to make. The less milk your body is asked to make (especially if you have big gaps between feeds) the less milk you make. The more baby feeds (or just plain suckles) the more milk your body will make - it is tough to start with but it does pass.

Unfortunately cluster feeding is part and parcel of having a young baby (some babies may not do it but they are the exception rather than the rule). Looking at ways to make it easier like feeding lying down in bed so you snooze/sleep while they feed (follow co-sleeping safety guidelines even if baby will spend majority of night in a cot), having dinner made earlier in the day (or OH making it), feet up on the sofa with a good box set/remote/laptop/phone/book to hand (don't sleep on sofa with baby though), having OH give baby their bath or sling them to give you a break if you get cabin fever, or even taking them for a moonlight walk can help settle them. You never know you may miss it when she's older (I do!)....

Oh and she is 4.5 months now!

Thanks for replies so far- It definitely makes me feel better. Am actually going to a bf drop-in this afternoon to check latch etc, so thanks for that.

I know that I need to keep feeding so my body knows how much milk to make, but I just can't keep going til 10/11pm- especially when I know I'll be up several times in the night. I tried to feed her myself last night, without giving in and giving her a bottle, but I admitted defeat at 10.20pm and my hubby gave her a bottle. If I stopped giving her a bottle before bed, do you think that my body would make more milk and she would become satisfied more easily in the evening?

It doesn't help that my hubby seems to think we should just give her a bottle or at least more often. He thinks she feeds too much and is too cranky (he's comparing her to our first baby). He thinks that day to day life would be easier and happier with a bottle fed baby- e.g. I could spend more time with my other child, he could feed baby in the night, she could be left with other people... I just want to be able to do bf and give it a bit longer, but it just doesn't help that I feel unsupported and that I'm the only one who thinks bf is worth fighting for.

Katie I know exactly how you feel! Your baby's behaviour is totally normal. But it is also totally draining! Only you can decide where to go from here - if bf is something you want to continue then stick with it. It won't last forever.

One thing you said which really caught my eye - 'he could feed the baby in the night'. Make sure that if you do end up ff that your dh sticks to this. Mine has always said that and this time I made him do it. Only Fri/Sat nights as he's generally away a lot Mon-Fri and drives a lot but now I don't even ask. I just put the thermos and a bottle with powder etc next to his bed and ask if he wants to do the first or second feed. Works a treat

Hi Katie, hope you are doing ok today.

It is probably true that if you dropped the nightime bottle, your supply would increase, but you need to balance this with getting enough rest for yourself. I did find that it was quicker to express than bf (and that is speaking as someone who was rubbish at expressing!), so DH would give DS a bottle, I would express a feed at the same time - I found it was quicker than bf so I could go to bed, and also helped to keep increasing my supply.

Do you have anyone who can help you during the day, so you can take more catnaps then?

I understand your DH thinking it would be easier to bottlefeed, and in some ways maybe it would - for now. A few weeks down the line though, once bf is properly established it is waaaaay easier/more convenient than bottle feeding. Also, how will you feel if you stop breastfeeding? How you feel is really important! Some women feel it is the best decision they have made for their baby, themselves and their whole family , but some women can continue to feel very distressed after stopping breastfeeding, and it can cloud their experience of early motherhood.

As I said, around about the three month mark seems to be a bit of a magic age (or has been for me and my friends in my ante-natal group) and for me the breastfeeding definitely got a LOT easier, and now I love it!

Good luck with whatever you decide to do