need to wean from breast at 7 months any advice ? please help...

[radstar]

Hi - I have been having a few health problems which my doctor has said won't really settle ( and I can't have medication for) until I stop breastfeeding. I have said I will try and give up by Christmas when ds will be 8 months old.

I have tried ds with a bottle, a bottle to cup teat type thing and a cup but he doesn't take much unless very hungry. I think the real reason I'm not finding it succesful is that I don't want to give up, I feel guilty. He loves it so much, it is good for him and I feel it is a time he does get my full attention or at least some comfort from me as ds1 is quite demanding of my time. I really wanted to feed him until he was a year I only did 11 months with ds1.

I'm also lazy as I haven't had to sterilise bottles etc regularly and never seem to have one to hand when I could try ds on one. We never really have done a routine and I havent' persevered as it is so much easier to put him on the breast. I know I am putting the pressure on myself but Christmas is creeping up on me and I do need to get the health problems sorted too.

So has anyone any advice? Even though I gave formula to ds1 eventually it was when he was older so not as necessary for nutrition. How much and how often should I feed ds2?

One of my biggest worries is what to do in the middle of the night, I know I shouldn't but I just feed ds to sleep if he wakes which isn't teaching him to self settle but I really don't want him waking ds1 and having to deal with him at night as well when he has just started to sleep well.

Also when a bottle is sterilised (we have a cold water steriliser) how long does it stay sterile for? If the solution needs renewing after 24hrs does that mean if the bottles have stayed in a little over that time they shouldn't be used?

Sorry this is long but am hoping someone can answer some/all of my questions....

Thanks

my first piece of advice would be to double-check whether or not the drugs you need are compatible with breastfeeding.

i've seen so many people on here be told by a GP or other HCP that they need to give up breastfeeding when actually there are alternative drugs, or the ones they need are actually safe.

have a look on the breastfeeding network site, or maybe give them a call?
or the lactmed site

what are the drugs?

Hi thanks for replying, there are various drugs, I know I cant take them, I've checked. The thing is I have few problems, pmt related ones, some eye issues which I need to have drops in for them to do a test which the consultnant said to wait until after breastfeeding is finished but the main thing is that I am having recurrent problems with back and spd pain that she said will not settle while I am breastfeweding because the relaxin is still in my system,

So another morning of him spitting out milk from the cup and eventually clamping his mouth shut!

Would trying another formula make help? I used Aptamil only because ds1 had it and it says on the carton its most like breastmilk.

I'm starting to get so stressed out by this, I just don't know what to do!

I had similar problems with my DS so I can sympathize! Is the cold water sterilizing you do using tablets? I discovered that DS hated the smell of it so I bought a sterilizing unit which made a big difference. And in the early days it was my DH who fed him bottles. DS refused anything from me other than the breast. It was 2 weeks of hard work (and I had to actually leave the house while DH tried to tempt him with the bottle) but we got there eventually.

HTH

Thanks for replying - It is a cold water steriliser with tablets, but he will have water from the same cups, so I don't think it is the smell or the act of drinking itself. It must just be he doesn't formula milk instead of breastmilk.

Dh has tried but he doesnt take much from him either although admittedly I am always around when he does it. I did think it would be better to try and get him used to the bottle or cup during the day and then tackle bedtimes and early mornings once that was established.

Maybe we should try harder at the weekend with dh. Dh isnt that fussed and says everyone learns to eat and drink in the end and I'm worrying too much. I know I probably am but he is too little to not have any milk.

I think the main stumbling block is I feel guilty as I don't think ds isn't ready to change yet.

I felt terribly guilty too, which was why I had to leave the house when DH was trying to establish the bottle. So I really do sympathize. We did find that once DS had started to take a bottle from DH he quickly let me do it too. Good luck!

Thanks!! I know we will get there eventually just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet.

Could you ask your consultant to do a blood test for relaxin levels (not during ovulation or period) to see if they are raised or not? That might give a better idea of how things are going than just blaming it on bfing.

Also, I'd be very surprised if eye drops (given the dosage size!) would be contra-indicated for breastfeeding. In order for a drug to be considered non-compatible for breastfeeding it has to be able to get in to breast milk in the first place.

How much of the eye drops would be absorbed into the blood stream, then cross over into breast tissue and then in to the milk (that would be a few drops diluted by the whole of your blood then some might get into your breast milk)? It then has to be digested by your DS. Is the drug capable of being ingested at all - some drugs can only be administered by IV/IM injection/topically and are rendered inactive in the stomach (insulin for example).

Even if all the the drug in the eye drops gets into your milk and it is incredibly toxic, you could still pump and dump for what ever time period deemed necessary (for example I had a huge syringe of radioactive dye injected for a lung scan and only needed to wait 12 hours before resuming bfing).

Obviously if you want to stop breastfeeding, then do so, but if you don't want to there are ways to get round this, alternative drugs, waiting until your son is older and more established on solids (medicines that are contra-indicated for a excl. bf prem infant might not be for a 12m toddler who's bf twice a day and on solids).

Wendy Jones at the Drugs in Breastmilk helpline is fabulous (she runs this service for the Government) and is very knowledgeable on the subject (she is a pharmacist and breastfeeding counsellor).

About the cold water sterilizer, you can leave bottles etc in the sterilizer until you need to use it. It's what they do in hospital. Also, at 7mo I believe you can be a bit lax about leaving it after the 24hr mark, as opposed to feeding a premmie. Some people don't even sterilize after 6mo, just a good clean. And maybe do it only when your LO is unwell, in case they pick up more infection.

As for the bottle, hopefully you get some success. My 7mo LO wouldn't take one in the hospital, even with the help of a nurse who has done infant feeding in neonatal. She was with DH, and I wasn't in the hospital with her that day at all. The nurse says in her case, the end of the tunnel is near anyway, and their milk intake will drop dramatically once weaning is well established. Your case is very different as you aren't looking at just dropping day feeds. There's also the cup option, which is what the nurse recommends. My DD hasn't got the suckling reflex anymore. How about yours? If you stick a finger against her upper palate, will he suckle? (My DD bites me). You could try a doidy cup, or a free flow, a sippy one, and there are straw ones too. Most ff babies will be going towards a bottle anyway.

Good luck.

Hum I think if I where you I'd try to find out more about the relaxin thing. As once BF is established it's a supply and demand driven and not hormone driven so I'm not sure if this would even be an issue.

I do know a freind who's had ongoing hip problems after having her baby's from SPD BUT she bottle fed her seconed from 5week's so deffantly not Bf related at all.

Maybe contacting the BfN helpline on drugs may help they may have more info on that one for you. www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/drugs-in-breastmilk.html

i wouldn't bother sterilising. a wash in very hot soapy water is fine, or putting them through the dishwasher if you have one

Have you tried mixing EBF with formula so at least it tastes familiar?

Thanks ever so much for the comments, have had visitors this afternoon so havent been able to get back to computer.

truthsweet some interesting points thankyou. I suspect the eye drops arent that big a deal but that consultant wouldnt do the test when I was pregnant and said wait until finished breastfeeeding, it isn't for a serious condition and he didn't seem overly concerned about me just being overcautious I think.

I didn't know about levels of relaxin in the blood though, I will perhaps go to my GP and ask, I wasn't going to go back to her until I had completely stopped but that doesn't seem to be any time soon so I will go for more advice.

migril that is interesting about your friend, I had heard of people have problems with spd much later after birth, it was the physio I saw who mentioned that to me but she more or less confessed to post natal not being her area and has refererred me to someone more qualified who I have yet to see, so may be that is going to be sorted by her.

lilham I havent stuck my finger in ds's mouth for a while - he has a sharp set of teeth coming through and has a tendency to bite more than ds1! He will have a bit of water from a sippy cup but I think I will try just using a proper cup and see how it goes.

Thanks to those who put my mind at rest about the steriliser, I didn't think it was so much of big deal now he is older. I certainly havent been as precious about all his spoons and teething things like I was with ds1, I think I sterilised everything with him - confidence definitely comes with more children doesn't it?!?

Perhaps it is time to dust off the breast pump - I bought it with ds1 but didnt get on with it maybe I should mix bm and ff - hallelouja

I do feel a little more positive after a nice day and also ds has come out with a bit of a cold which may well explain the extra feeds I seem to be doing and the refusing of new things, he hasn't been too keen on solid food today either.

Thanks