Is it possible to do a bedtime bottle without it impacting breastfeeding?

[redwallday]

My DD is 18 weeks on saturday and has always been incredibly ard to settle in the evenings. As soon as I put her down she would jump awake, Id feed her again for 5 mimutes then she would fall asleep, put her down, she would wake again and the whole process could go on for 5 hours before she would settle.

I started getting very stressed as during the day she would feed pretty much constantly and be generally high needs. By 1am of not being able to put her down I started to go a bit loopy. So DH stepped in and gave her a bottle if I couldnt settle her. After several nights of me getting so frustrated after hours of feeding and trying to settle her we decided to introduce a bedtime bottle at the same time each night so I could have a break and OH could settle her.

So now she has a bottle at about 8:30 every night and at this time of night she has started to get very unsettled wanting a bottle even tho I express when she doesnt feed. She will refuse boob from aboit 8 pm now and cry for her bottle. She takes between 9 and 13oz over the period of an hour but will then come back to me as she will then refuse bottle and need a bf to settle. So atm its only really giving me an hours break from feeding but Im getting worried that she now seems unable to go without the bottle at night.

Once she does settle at around 11pm she often sleeps until 9ish. She has slept thru since 6 weeks only waking for night feeds occasionally.

Everyone keeps saying a regular bottle will cause the end of bfeeding, are they right?

Cluster feeding is very normal for babies (feeding very frequently and not wanting to be away from mum) and doesn't mean there is anything wrong with a baby who does this (unless it is for the whole day in a baby older than newborn). Is there anyway you would be able to let her cluster feed in the evenings? Perhaps preparing dinner earlier (or DH doing it) or learning how to bf i a sling so that you could do something else while bfing?

9-13oz is approximately between a 3rd to 2/3rds of her daily requirements (bf babies take on average 25oz of milk a day on a range of 19-30oz with each baby having their own level be it 21ish oz a day or 29ish oz a day).

That is an enormous amount of milk for her to take in 1 hour and may well make her uncomfortable (it might not though). It will almost certainly have an impact on the amount of breastmilk you are able to produce though as that is 9-13oz of milk you aren't asked to make, the less you make and the longer you go with out bfing/expressing the less milk your body makes. It may well be your baby is happy with a lower amount of milk during the day until the evening when she gets her 'big meal' then she wants the comfort of bfing to help her sleep.

Is there anyone local to you that you can see (HV/BFC) about a way to minimise the impact on bfing?

outfoxed - people do continue with bottles and their bf is ok. It's impossible to say what is going to happen in an individual case.

But I get the feeling it's not the bottle you are 'wedded' to, but the perfectly understandable notion of having an hour or two to yourself in the evening - and why not? :)

Here's an idea or two:

go with the flow. It is exhausting* feeding a baby, putting her down, waiting on eggshells to see if she will settle, picking her up, feeding her, putting her down again.....and so on and on (in your case, 5 hours!). Instead of expecting her to settle, keep her in your arms while she sleeps, and accept that at this stage in her life, this is what she needs. She will wake up and feed again, but again, keep her next to you instead of trying to settle her away from you. In time, you will (I hope) get to a stage where she is deeply asleep and you can put her down for a little while

• have an evening routine which winds her down, so you feed her at more or less the same time (say, 6.30) and then bath her (say, 7.00) and have a nice little singing time and a book or something, followed by a quiet snuggly post bath feed downstairs (in time you may be able to do this upstairs and settle her there without her coming down)

I think the current bottle-breast-bottle-up/down thing is not that she is desperate for the bottle but just it is part of her general unsettled evening where sometimes she doesn't know what she wants, she's just fussy and frustrated.

Creating a calm time where her needs are met without you trying to 'make' her do something might give you a 'clean start' - maybe, no guarantees :)

A regular bottle will not cause the end if breastfeeding, assuming that your supply is well established (which it should be, she us no longer a newborn.) Most of my friends, and me, introduced a bottle a day at some point, and it didn't mean the end of breastfeeding for any of us.

Agree with Truth about the amount of formula - that is indeed huge :(

the more you feed the more volume of milk becomes available.one feed isnt the end of the world but be aware some babies decide bottle feeding is much less hard work as different sucking action and then demand bottles over breast or can become confused and fretful trying to go between the two.local bfc are fab as is la leche league if you have any questions or difficulties.i found eating main meal at lunchtime and be prepared to be cluster feeding made me much less stressed and being able to relax does improve letdown and allows the satisfying hindmilk to flow

I couldn't cope with DD's evening cluster-feeding so she had a bottle every night from when she was 6 weeks old. I breastfed her until she was 9 months. So no, I don't think one bottle a day will mark the end of bfing.

Just by way of encouragement hopefully, my dd2 is 27wks now and was like this, I remember it with dd1 too. As tiktok suggested I just gave up on "bedtimes" for a while and kept her with me, some nights she just went to bed with me at 10/11. Going with the flow so to speak was much easier than running up and down the stairs to her! Other times I'd just get into pjs, sit up inbed with book or laptop and feed away, not really trying to settle her iyswim. Now at 27wks I am putting her down at 7ish and not hearing from her again till 11ish, very occasionally she'll pop up once but is easy to settle. It should get easier for you soon!

We have introduced a bottle at about 9.30pm (DP does this one) and from when DS was about 2 weeks because I just needed a few hours of sleep, it hasnt had any impact on us at all apart from that I am alot less stressed

Thanks for everyones replies. DD isnt really a bottle lover which is another reason we introduced a bottle as I have to return to work soon. She has on many occasion point blank refused a bottle! Also I have no problem letting her cluster feed, despite the fact that it has been so extreme that I havent been able to go for a pee in peace for 4 months! She only has half an hour breaks between feeds at most during the day and then feeds constantly frim around 6pm. Tonight for instance she had bottle at 8:30 and was back feeding with me from 9:25 and then fed till 11:15! So shes only missing just under an hour of feeding. Also reg the amounts she takes, yes they are huge but whenever she has a bottle she takes a minimum of 7oz, usually a max 14oz. She hardly sicks any up and then will happily feed from me for an hour straight after! She simply doesnt know when she is full!

As it is tonight Ive been up feeding since 3:20am!

I think the issue with her is more that she wakes up easily if you put her down rather than her needing more milk. Its just that giving her more milk in a bottle is the only way to get her to go down without waking.

During the day I cant put her down, she only ever naps on me and only recently started going in a pushchair!

I would also like to point out that I have a nearly 3 year old too so her constant feeding can be a real problem!

Also please dont suggest I cosleep. I did it for the first 4 weeks and hated it. Also IF I can get her down she will normally sleep for 10 hours straight! Its the putting her down thing thats the problem!

If she is sleeping for 10 hours a night that is means she has to take all her nutrition in the 14 hours she is awake. That might explain the constant feeding or it might be she is high needs or the latch isn't spot on so she needs to feed more to compensate.

Or you might just be trying to put her down too early in her sleep cycle. If you wait a bit longer (say 20 minutes after she first goes to sleep before putting her down) you might find she goes down easier.

Does she like going in a wrap/ring sling? Would that help her if she could be close to you/you feed in the sling? Then you can play with your 3y/o, go out, do the dishes, anything really except cook or iron!

Is she really feeding or comfort sucking? Since my DD has found her thumb, marathon feeding sessions have more or less stopped - she sucks on her thumb instead if it's not milk she's after. She still wants cuddling for those hours mind! But slinging will do...

outfoxed my humble opinion is to insist on a bottle every night, since you seem to have a bottle refuser in training. When do you have to go back to work? Mine at 7mo won't take a bottle from anyone. She is at a nurser near my work and I go to feed her mid morning and mid afternoon . I tried with just a lunchtime feed but she got really upset about it. I know not everyone has the choice to feed at work hours. it's very stressful to have a bottle refuser.