Help-Any ideas 4 week old sleepy feeder wants to cluster feed all evening and night

[jan01]

Hi,I have a 4week old that is a real sleepy feeder, struggling to feed him on and off for over an 1 to 2 hours at a time but as he falls asleep when being breastfed after 5 mins.have to try all the tricks to wake him up,taking him off,letting him play on mat,stripping him down to vest or just nappy,changing nappy but each time same result just nods off whilst feeding.Can eventually get him to settle for 2 hours max if i'm lucky (or he'll wake up again hungry after 10-20 mins aargh) He then cluster feeds all night and will not settle unless in bed with me.I also have a 3 year old who keeps me very busy all day so do not have time nap in day so I'm becoming seriously sleep deprived so worried about falling asleep whilst breastfeeding at night.I would really appreciate any advice on how to get DS2 to take a decent feed and how to combat the stressful night feeding situation.DS2 is very sucky baby and night wakings and crying is affecting DS1 who was a very good sleeper and is now waking crying for attention too.Feeling terrible as sometimes have to let one or other cry so can settle the other.Feeling emotionally and physically drained and feeling like a rubbish mum.

you sound like an amazing mum and I could not cope with a three year old and hungry new born so give yourself a big hug. Is there someone who could perhaps take both little ones out for a walk while you catch up on some rest ?
This is the four week growth stage possibly and I remember crying my heart out.It should stop in a few days. Have you considered introducing expressed milk soon - I used to get DP to give DD this.

Is there a breast feeding advisor who you could contact locally ? This is the national breastfeeding helpline www.nationalbreastfeedinghelpline.org.uk 0300 100 0210. They really helped me. I wish I could help more but you are doing such a fab job.

one of mine constantly nodded off and i was told to strip him off and tickle bottom of feet when started dozing.annoyed him a bit but helped!if you have a local surestart centre many have breastfeeding groups or la leche league were invaluable help for me.hang in there,it does get easier in time when they finally 'get it'.x

Have you tried gently blowing on his face? That used to startle mine awake.

You are doing wonderfully well by the way

Can you feed lying down? Make your bed safe and then you can doze off during night feeds - once I cracked feeding lying down I actually get some sleep!

Feeding lying down is the key I still have to do this to get some sleep and DD is 2.
When she was a neborn I used to fall asleep with her whilst I was sitting up and nearly dropped her my arm movements woke me up and since then I coslept.

What is it that worries you about falling asleep and feeding?
When DD was very young I used to line the edges of bed with pillows (completely unneccassary she was never going to roll out)
I was worried about her over heating when she was very little so I used to sleep in tracksuit bottoms, socks, and a thick jumper with button openings and just used a thin blanket for DD

Thanks for all the responses.Trying the tickling and other suggestions (esp expressing but milkn supply is all over the place) and having a bit of joy with keeping DS2 awake a little longer.Guess (and hope) he'll become a little more responsive in the coming weeks.HV told about BF group so will try them.

Singleandproud:My concerns about falling asleep feeding stem from the risk of dropping or smother baby.I did do the lying down feeding with DS1 but midwife and numerous other people have been drilling in the dangers of this and of co-sleeping and I guess being so worn out,I'm getting paranoid that this could happen to me.Have had to resort to feeding in bed at night just to at least doze during marathon feeds.DS2 will wake crying for a feed and then nod off after 5 mins if I put him down in his moses basket, he wakes screaming again.Would let him cry so he wakes properly but still nods off really quickly (still sucking but can't make out if it's for comfort or hunger) added downside is usually, just after this DS1 wakes and starts screaming just for attention and he's started getting really demanding during the day especially when have to spend up to 2 hours feeding off and on DS2.I have always had plenty of time for DS1 but now very restricted and feeling the guilt as I know this is why he's acting out like this.Guess I have to grin and bear it for now and hope for improvement.I'm going to try a few more tactics and if all else fails in a couple of weeks,may have to bottle or combo feeding for all our sanity.

Breastfeeding mother are very unlikely to smother a baby and I read somewhere that in studies most bf mothers pulled their knees up to under where the babys feet are similar to the fetal position so that baby cant slip down. I actually found that I did this and I also found that neither DD nor I moved alot in our sleep. But ofcourse if you arent comftable with it then don't do it.

There's a Unicef leaflet on bed sharing here - www.unicef.org.uk/Documents/Baby_Friendly/Leaflets/3/sharingbedleaflet.pdf

Funnily enough it was my midwife who showed me how to feed lying down and co-sleep safely - this was at a Baby Friendly hospital.

Thanks for the leaflet.Have been following the guidelines for co-sleeping with regards to positioning.Spoke to new HV and even she conceded that although midwife is completely against it,you have to do what is necessary to get by at this point and a completely exhausted mum is no use to her kids.