Sad i have just done my last ever bf

[gitinora]

Sat here in tears, i have just fed my baby for the last time.
Have wanted to give up for a couple of months now but couldnt bring myself to do it really.
Anyway we decided that tonight would be the last night as i am off out with friends tomorrow night for a meal so wont be here at bedtime so dp will give ds a bottle. (ds will take formula from bottle)
I know its the right time to stop really but is it normal to feel this upset?
He is my last baby so i will never ever bf again :(

Bless you! It is sad. That special bond that you feel when you bf is totally unique. I sometimes wish I'd never stopped feeding my 2 when I did. Though at the time it absolutely felt like the right thing to do.
There's still a life time of special cuddles to be cherished.

I'm still breastfeeding my DS at 19 months and have been planning to stop since he was 6 months but I just can't bring myself to and he doesn't seem to want to stop either so I sympathise. But you've made your decision and you should be proud to have breastfed your babies.

I'm sad too. I've stopped a week or so ago, as I'm pg again, and DD is 14 months. But she wouldn't have stopped, and I feel bad for stopping her. She doesn't drink any other milk...at all. But it was killing me, as painful as the first week... And I can't feed three, and am pg with twins.

I'm with you, it's HARD!!!

I think I wrote pretty much your exact OP almost exactly a year ago. Last baby, wanting to give up for ages but not quite being able to do it, circumstances engineering the stopping. Made me very sad. But the next night when I put my baby to bed instead of protesting at no bf, she was perfectly fine (the bugger!) and we had almost exactly the same cuddles that she'd been giving me for the previous 14 months. I was surprised. I'd thought it would be more traumatic for her and I thought that by stopping bf I would be losing out more than I actually did. (And if you really hate stopping, I"m sure you can start feeding her again in a day or two....)

Thanks bumbums, i am looking forward to those cuddles.

CMC i planned to only feed for 6 months too, but just couldnt bring myself to stop. Ds is nearly 12 months now and has been having formula in the morning and afternoon for a couple of months. I bf in the evening but dont think he is that bothered and would take a bottle instead.
Its me rather than him who is reluctant to stop. but i do feel its time.

Congratulations dreamfeeder Twins lucky you.

It's hard, isn't it?

I recently had to stop without choice. DS3 was 21 months and i hadn't really thought of stopping - we were both quite happy to continue, but the DD was taken quite seriously ill, and i spent a week in hospital with her. Manshape said he screamed blue murder the first three nights but after that he was quite happy to take a bottle of cows milk. He id point at my boobs a couple of times when i came home, but really, he's not asked and i've not offered, and he's quite happy.

You sound confused.

You are saying two contradictory things; that you are reluctant to stop, and that you think it's time.

What do you mean by "it's time"? Are you feeling under pressure to stop because of some sort of imposed deadline? Does the thought of continuing make you feel relieved or upset?

If you don't want to stop, then why not continue? It will come to a natural end in due course even if you don't actively stop it now.

Just read back post, it is a bit confusing!
I do want to stop only ever intended to feed for 6 months but its hard to stop when baby enjoys it and it so good for him.
However he takes formula fine from a bottle so think he wouldn't be bothered if the bf stopped but its me that has been holding off just because i love the closeness and the special time just me and him.

Now tell me to back off if I have this wrong, as I do not want to harangue you!

Reasons not to stop: You love the closeness and the special time just you and him. You're holding off.

Reasons to stop: You originally thought you would feed for 6 months and you've gone beyond that.

Lots of people feed for much longer than they originally thought they would, because it gets so easy, so comforting and is such a lovely thing to do. It's completely normal to feed for one, two years or however long suits you both. If you do give up, please let it be because you don't want to do it any more and not because you feel you "ought" to give up. I'm just sensing you feeling some sort of deadline which actually isn't coming from within you, and you don't sound terribly convinced that this is what you really want.

If, deep down, you want to continue, please know that is a completely valid choice and you will not be alone!

Either way, well done and good luck.

I also felt a little sad at stopping at 12months (despite having not really enjoyed my BFing journey) so that did surprise me. But I also felt an overwhelming sense of relief and freedom.

But nothing against you extended feeders before you bash me :o it just wasn't for me

Term feeders, not extended, please .

Extended makes it sound unusual, whereas biologically it's normal. Just not so usual in our culture :)

Also supporting what verylittlecarrot said - opening up a conversation IF you want it.

If it's right for you to stop despite your mixed feelings, then yes, it's really, really normal to feel this way. You've done a fabulous thing and if you've decided it's over then that's a chapter that's now turned its page.

However, there are many, many more fabulous pages in the book so if you really have got to the end of that line then recognise the immense thing that you've done. The bond that you have created will remain forever and the health benefits to you both will remain with you for the rest of your lives.

Just a note - formula is absolutely not required after a year. I'm sure you know this but it really, really isn't. If you're worried about vitamins consider vitamin drops or breakfast cereal which is fortified.

I've never heard it described as 'term feeding' despite reading loads of threads on here . Sorry. I've learnt something new today

LOL it's ok kimberlina. It's probably a personal preference as much as anything. . You can probably see why though. :)

I'm a bit sad about stopping too - I had planned to bf for 2 years but I got pregnant first month of trying and bfing became painful so we cut down to morning and evening only (with some protests now and again from DS). I'm now 19 weeks plus and have no milk at all, also he just had hand, foot and mouth disease and his mouth was too sore to bf.

He still pulls my top up every morning but just so he can rest his head on my boobs and give me a big cuddle which is really sweet. He's 21 months.

Oh, it's short for "natural term" which probably makes more sense than "term". Which out of that context makes no real sense and you probably can't see why!!!

Verylittlecarrot speaks sense. Sorry you feel sad, you sound like a fabulous mum : )

bear I'm struggling with the same thing. Apparently the pain does get better as the pregnancy progesses so it may be an option to offer again at some point - IF you want to. Watch out for colostrum poo though . (Wonders if Truthsweet is around to verify!).

I've just finished bf my 15 mo DD. I realised that she hadn't asked for it all day and I hadn't thought to offer it! We have gone a few days like that now and she's perfectly happy. I'm really pleased that we came to a 'natural' conclusion, but still feel sad that we won't have those little moments any more :( I sympathise.

Have I been awarded 'oracle on bfing in pg' status? I've only done it twice!

For me the pain and agitation/irritation did go gradually and it got miles better when my colostrum came in (wk 24 with 2nd pg and wk 26 with 3rd).

Come Friday I will have been tandem nursing for 4 years (bar the one month when DD1 weaned and before DD3 was born) so it can't be all bad?

Just an update thanks for your replies, kind words and advice.
I went out the following evening and dp gave ds a bottle and he took it fine and went straight to sleep (didnt miss me at all):(
I felt horrid the next day and sad and thought i had done the wrong thing and decided to bf ds that night. Anyway ds refused the breast and had a bottle in the end, so feel bf has come to a natural end now and it was ds decision not mine so feel much happier about it.:)