Alcohol and bedsharing?

[Midori1999]

I know it's fine to have a glass of wine when BF and alcohol leaves the body at roughly one unit per hour. I also know that it's not safe to bedshare if you've drunk alcohol.

I'm assuming that if I had a glass of wine at lunchtime it would be safe to co-sleep that night, but what do people do if they've had a glass of wine in the evening? Observe the one hour per unit 'rule'? not co-sleep that whole night?

I had a bedside cot, so just played it safe and made sure DS was well in the cot part. Also sat up for feeds and made sure I moved DS away from me after feeding. I'm not sure what would be best to do if you don't have this kind of setup and the baby won't settle anywhere else.

TBH I don't think one glass of wine would make that much difference, but I wouldn't really want to risk it, either.

Dd is not bf but I will still have her in bed with me if I've had one drink. Though I'm a heavy sleeper anyway so basically prop myself up so I can't possibly roll onto her even If I've not been drinking.

I chose not to drink while breast feeding but I think it would depend on the age of the child. If it was a newborn-a year then I wouldnt cosleep any older then that and I probably would as long as I only had one. Is a glass of wine worth the anxiety that you might feel not knowing whether to co-sleep or not or whether itll harm your baby?

Daisy please try not to be so pious. Attitudes like yours do no good for bf women.

Midori if I have a glass or 2 in the early evening, then I never start the night with DD in my bed. However, by, about 3am I would consider myself safe. It's a judgement call. I'm a light sleeper anyway though and DD is nearly 5 months, so a lot more hardy than a newborn.

I've not drunk alcohol, not because of the breastfeeding, as I know it's fine - but because of the cosleeping! I just worry too much.

Daisy didn't sound pious, just honest.

It's a judgement call. And tough because you can't know if it will have any effect. Bertie's arrangement sounds like the best of both worlds tbh. I do the same with ds if I'm v tired, just for peace of mind.

I'd have to disagree. Saying 'is one glass of wine really worth it?' is both pious and patronising to me. Give people examples of what you do, fine. But try not to infer that mothers who do have one glass of wine prioritise that over their child's safety.

I just heard it as the basic question you have to ask yourself. Is the wine worth it?

Yes and I'll cosleep as normal
Yes but I'll not cosleep as normal
No it's not worth it

For Daisy the answer was no.

Except OP didn't ask if a glass of wine is worth it. She asked what other people did. And posters stated what they do. You can do that without the preachy bit.

However, agree to disagree. I thought it was pious and do think that kind of attitude doesn't help bf women. But not after an argument so shall retreat from thread :)

I would apply a 1 unit per 1.5 hours rule which meant that DS would be fine to come into bed with me from about 2am.

Since he is now a big 2 year old, I am less worried about it. I do also have less choice about the time at which he comes into my bed though now that he can climb out of his bed, over the stair gate, and get into bed with me without me noticing...

I think the rule is no co-sleeping (by that I mean bed sharing not sleeping in the same room) if you have consumed more than 2 units of alcohol but I don't have a reference to hand.

One reference is this from the New Zealand Medical Journal.

That link says that cosleeping however you do it is a SIDS risk!

When DD was under one she had a cotbed side-car attached to the bed so she had her own space, though would often crawl in next to me for a cuddle. From the age of one she was in our bed and we moved the cotbed out of our room and into storage.

At weekends I would have a glass or two of wine, but not get drunk. So probably 3 or 4 units over the course of an evening, but starting at 7.00 p.m. so the first unit would be out of my system by just after 8.00 p.m. and so on.

I breastfed to 15 months but she was nightweaned from about one year old.

It's hard to define amounts. Someone who drinks regularly may be more aware after two glasses, than an infrequent drinker after one glass. You know your body, the physical set up of your room/bed, and the other factors that will affect how safe it is.

That's the trouble with some studies they take cot sleeping as the neutral position rather than sleeping on a firm flat surface (with no duvets/pillows in baby's reach) next to their bfing mother who doesn't drink/smoke/take drugs/sleep inducing medications. This presentation explains the evolutionary rationale behind co-sleeping (it makes sense that deviating from the biological norm increases risk - though that does include pillow top mattresses and 13.5 tog duvets....)

Here you go. As always, Charlie writes something just at the right time :)

www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk/2011/11/dangers-of-demonising-bed-sharing.html

I apologise I certainly didn't mean to sound pious the OP asked what people would do I didn't mean to sound preachery.
I would ask myself was it worth it because there are risk associated with co-sleeping/heavy sleeping and alcohol everyone will have their own answer and everyones situation is different. I personally wouldn't feel comftable that I had drunk any alcohol in the evening and then go on to sleep in the bed with a young baby in the unlikely event that something might happen therefore I don't drink. I also live by myself with LO so perhaps my answer would be different if I had a partner and we relaxed with a glass of wine.

Daisy think I was overly harsh in calling you pious. Ambiguity of flat text means often things can be taken the wrong way. Your subsequent post makes total sense to me. Apologies :)

Thank you for sharing this incredible article. I recommend everyone read it and also the various linked articles within. Definitely sticking with booby and bed sharing this time. Shame I didn’t know all this first time around when I was a classic SIDS fearer dozing off in a chair!

I limit myself to 2 glasses of wine if I decide I’d like a drink and I make sure I’m finished for 9pm at the latest, I the. Either put baby in the crib for the first part of the night knowing that they will wake lots and by 3am I will just bring them in. Or I sleep in the spare room and husband sleeps with the baby for the first few hours (obviously only if he’s not had anything to drink). I use the rule that if I’m not safe to drive I’m not safe to cosleep and use that to guide my actions.