It's been 16 months now and sex still painful!

[Massagenowplease]

DD is now 16 mo and BF a lot still, which is fine, except for one thing - sex has not resumed since her birth, it's just too painful! I have been to GP and was told it's BF sapping my estrogen supplies and to stop BF, which I don't want to do. She gave me prescription for HRT but I didn't take it. I have tried Replens lube and other lubes, helps a bit but still too painful to continue sex for long.

DH and I are fed up of trying and thinking of giving up for a few months- I'm hoping by the time she's 2 DD's feeding will prob have naturally reduced enough for my hormones to recover?! DH saying lack of sex really difficult, I know it's not good for our relationship.

I could live without sex for next few months, but what is upsetting me is that DH now saying he doesn't want to go through this again in the future- ie no more kids! I can't bear the thought of my DD not having a little bro or sis one day, but I can understand that another 2 ish years of no sex sounds v unappealing.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Anyone taken HRT for this? Is it def the BF do you think or could there be another cause? My periods have not returned yet. Could that be a factor?

I would seek a gynae referral if I were you, you could have a slight prolapse of the vaginal wall, cervix or uterus that GP is unable to diagnose. There are threads on here about this occurring after birth and it can be fixed if diagnosed. You may need to tell them some details of where inside it hurts the most, what the pain feels like and whether it is on entry, deeper penetration etc... to help them diagnose the problem.

That fact that it is so painful after 16 months is a sign there may be more than low oestrogen going on, have you been offered an oestrogen cream to see if that helps?

Also if you are using hormone-based birth control that could be a factor too. Yeast infection also a possibility. If you had stitches they could have sewn you up too tight. Also the fact that it has been so painful at first may now be making you tense up even more and therefore making it more painful.

I had EMCS and had a lot of internal bruising from DD being stuck. Sex was slightly painful starting out when we first tried 5 weeks after she was born and slightly uncomfortable starting out for the next few months then fine. I breastfed to 2 years, it only affected my tiredness levels and libido not lubrication although I know that it can.

There are many reasons why it could still be painful so get a second opinion and some tests to check the most common causes. You should not have to carry on suffering this way. Be persistent, I hope they can help you.