PLEASE HELP newborn baby just won't try to latch

[cep]

My son was born early Thursday morning. he came quite quickly and swallowed some of the gunk on the way out. Therefore he wasn't interested in latching on and sucking. As the day went on he tried a couple of times but didn't really suck. This has carried on and now just cries whenever i try to get him to latch. I really don't know how to stop him crying for long enough. i've been expressing to try and bring in my milk, and am now starting to get a bit more, (is dripping easily) but he still won't even try most of the time. Has started sucking the nipple once in over 24hrs and only for a couple of seconds. The mw suggested giving him little expressed before trying but this still makes him cry (no surprise). I just wondered if anyone had any experience in this kind of thing and if so did you beat it and how. I really want to bf, i failed ds 1 and really don't want to fail this time.

try a breast crawl/biological nurturing.

lie back on some pillows, with your top half naked. place naked baby on top of you. he should gradually find his way to the breast.
do this while he is happy and content, don't wait until he is crying for a feed

how are you feeding him at the moment? expressed milk?

Could your boobs be too full? I remember DS getting really upset around 2-3 days and it was a mare getting him on. The newborn crawl is better because he's on top so less milk shooting out. Also try staying relaxed.

You can do this. Keep removing milk from your breasts, keep getting milk into him and keep trying with the latching.

There are many mothers who have been where you are and bf for many months (hopefully some of them will be along soon).

Breast crawl is a great idea with a newborn. Make sure it is a lovely warm relaxed atmosphere, maybe even pop in the bath with him.

Please do not think you failed your ds1. He got fed, right? With the right support you have a very good chance of getting your milk into ds2, even if he never latches you could exclusively pump or mix feed. But he is not even 1 week yet, please don't despair yet.

You could try and get a little feeding cup and express into that and then feed him with that.

Spend lots of time skin to skin bonding, I found it alot easier to feed laying on my side with baby at breast height and feeding like that getting them to latch on seems easier because you don't have to watch your arm height etc.

Does he have tongue tie? Get in touch with the le leche group they will be able to give you lots of help if mums on here can't. Alternatively ask to see a breastfeeding midwife some are specialised in feeding.

Whatever happens you tried and thats the most you can do, the worst thing you can do is stress about it. I hope it works out for you.

Thank you Ladies for your quick replies.
thisis i had heard of the breast crawl thing but thought it was more just after they were born. do i just place him between the breasts? I'm expressing about 6 to 8 times a day at the moment, but only started it this often yesterday, otherwise i was doing it when i could, but realised i needed to pick it up to get the amount. When i wasn't giving enough i'd give expressed then top with formula.
iggly they were yesterday, really solid but now i've been expressing more they're not, or at least they're not hard, but he was just crying through from friday really and just hasn't stopped, it's almost like the sight of my boob upsets him.

albrecht i really hope so. i'm expressing as much as i can and the amount is getting a lot more today thankfully. (getting about 50-60ml per session at the moment) i've tried letting the milk drip into his mouth to try and get him to latch. I guess i just cover the bed to protect from milk and let him find it himself. I'm wondering if i'm holding his head wrong, when they showed me in the hosp they had my hand on his head, should it be his head or his neck?

what area are you in cep? perhaps one of us could get you in touch with a local breastfeeding counsellor?

try not to touch his head at all. a lot of babies really don't like it, and pressure on the back of his head can make them just pull their head back.

that's why the breast crawl works so well...

just place him on your tummy, with his head near your breasts and he should bob his head up and down a lot and open his mouth a bit as he searches for the nipple

xpost daisy the mw said he had a slight tongue tie but not enough to cause problems, and i checked with the gp on his visit and he agreed.

Ok plans dh is taking ds 1 to nursery tomorrow so i'll stay in bed and try the breast crawl thing. I'll try the lying down position tonight on next feed attempt.

I really appreciate the advice ladies, Thank you so much. It's so frustrating that something that's supposed to be natural just doesn't feel it.

I'm off to bed for now to try and get some sleep before next feed. Will let you know how i get on.

Thanks again

i'm down near Portsmouth. I'm going to pop into a breastfeeding support group thing tomorrow to have a chat with the mw there.

thisis that makes a lot of sense cause he does seem to pull his head back almost feels like i'm trying to bend him in two.

I'm rather large and subsequently large breasted will that cause problems?

i would ask for a referral for the tongue tie. even a very small tie can cause problems and if you have it snipped while he is really tiny it's just such a simple procedure. my little boy didn't even wake up when he had his done!

make sure you get to speak to a properly qualified breastfeeding counsellor. unfortunately it can get a bit confusing with peer supporters, infant feeding specialists/co-ordinators etc etc and not everyone you speak to will actually be properly qualified.

Here and here are two great pages from Kellymom that will help.

You need to be expressing 8-10 times a day, these do not need to be evenly spaced (although try to get at least one at night) as very frequent pumping simulates cluster feeding that newborns often do.

Breast crawl is not just for birth, although is less likely to work once they get older - but when I say older, not like a week old, like months old.

You should gently support the base of his head / neck and not hold or push too hard on the back of his head. He may have got a fright and so be a bit scared of your breast but lots of skin to skin cuddling can reassure him that actually they are a good place to be. With breast crawl some babies will find their own way to the nipple but with ds I did have to support his head a bit or he slipped off. But leaning back lets your body support his weight rather than getting cramp in your arm holding him in the traditional across the tummy position.

i really hope it works for you

get yourself along to a baby cafe for some RL help / support / guidence

my baby is 2 months today and can still breast crawl! she can also go from being winded on my shoulder to latched on to my breast in a few seconds, so plenty of time yet :)

i am a huge la leche league fan myself, would have had huge problems breastfeeding if it wasn't for my local group (and my local baby cafe)

list of LLL groups

Just because its natural doesn't mean its easy unfortunately (like childbirth!). Back when we were lumbering around in caves we would have seen lots of babies being fed in lots of different ways. I'd hardly seen anyone bf before I had ds and had very little idea of how it worked, think that is fairly common.

You will work out the best way for you to manage with your breasts. I have the problem that mine often don't reach far enough but I'm sure others will be able to suggest positions etc that worked for them.

Yes La Leche is fab.

sorry, forgot to reply to your bit about breast size. all i can say is that i am a 32H and have managed fine

my top tip though is to bring baby to the breast, don't try getting breast into baby.
if your breasts are very large and you can't see the nipple well when latching on you could try rolling up a muslin and putting it under your breast to lift it a little

but basically if you are sitting up and feeding, rather than doing biological nurturing, you want to have baby lying on his side almost with his tummy pressed all along your own tummy. have his head in line with your breast, maybe gently bring him up so that the nipple touches his nose/lips and when he opens wide bring him onto the nipple.

if he doesn't want his head touched then you might find a regular cradle hold works better for you than the cross cradle which is often suggested

Large breasted shouldn't be an issue, I tandem fed dd1 and dd2 and reached a k cup (it was ridiculous!) and it worked ok, I tended lie next to them to feed or rest them so their neck was in the crook of my elbow. Good luck

I could have written this post, you sound just like me 11 weeks ago! I had the same with DS, but we were in hospital for nearly a week so I had help from midwives with every feed (we weren't in because of him not feeding, I had a nightmare after delivery, I'll spare you the details).
We found the best way was to do it lying down, he loved it and would only feed like that for the first 10-12 days, which was nice for me as I had very little energy. I have big boobs too, lying down seemed to make it more manageable for him.
Also, he wouldn't latch at all if he had any clothes on, just his nappy. We'd have some skin to skin for a little while, then turn over and get positioned for feeding.
Keep going, it does get easier I promise. Let us know how you get on.
Best of luck x

Hi cep. Your hand doesn't need to touch his head and research shows that babies are less likely to latch with a hand on their head.

Gently cradle him in your arm or lying next to you on the bed; your arm should be gently cradling his neck with his head slightly back so he can get a good mouthful of breast.

Let him come to the breast and wait until his mouth is really wide and gaping before bringing him in towards the breast. If he comes in too soon, he won't get a big mouthful of breast and won't be able to drink effectively.

Have you tried hand expressing? It's simple to do and easier than pumping in the early days; expressing too soon can inhibit milk production although if you are worried about him not taking enough, then expressing little and often might help. Nothing will stimulate milk production as well as your baby though so try the breast crawl.

He might just be sleepy - he's only 5 days old. Is he jaundiced?

If the GP and MW have agreed there is a slight tongue tie, can you ask if they'll snip it? It won't hurt him and it's so much easier to do it now before more feeding and then speech probs occur.

Have you tried having a bath with your baby and seeing if he will latch on in there? I overheard one of the Midwives recommended it to someone who had a 3 week old who wouldn't latch. I always found that DS would feed better after lots of skin to skin.

I can vouch for the Tangmere LLL group too. Lois who runs it is very fabulous!

Hi ladies, sorry to take so long replying, have only just managed to get to the laptop. Thankyou all for your responses. It is greatly appreciated.

today ended up being so frantic i hardly got any skin to skin in, (or expressing to be honest so will need to catch up tonight.) I tried lying on my side last night and this morning and although he didn't latch on he was showing a bit more interest. I also spent an hr before my mw appt this morning totally topless and ds2 naked on me, and his head was bobbing around but again hasn't latched, yet (trying to remain optimistic.)

am planning on trying to have a bath with him tomorrow. I went to the breast feeding support group thing today to see the breastfeeding mw, she thinks he may have gotten too used to the taste/feel of the bottle, so has suggested getting nipple shields to try and help and then if we manage to get him to latch to that, let him get used to that and then whip the shield off and try to reattach.

nomiddle i meant to mention it to the mw today but forgot, i'm seeing her again on sunday so will mention it then. She said he is jaundiced but not much and she's not worried, he'd lost a little weight but less than the 10%. (7.2 to 6.12) I didn't express until after he was 24 hrs old, i was told to wait until after that point.

Tangmere is a bit too far to go to be honest.

thisis and deaf thankyou for responding about the large breasts, that is very good to know, cause it was playing on my mind.

he latched he latched. dh picked up some nipple shields this morning, boots own. massive things. When i first tried had same problems as with ds1 slipped all over the place even with lansinoh to hold it in place. fed him with some express but he needed a top up so i tried again and he latched on sucked for a minute or two until he fell asleep. Then next feed i tried them again, and again was having problems but suddenly managed to get it to stay in place and he latched on and took a whole feed.
i just checked the medela ones and saw some actual instructions on how to attach the shield, might help if i was actually doing it correctly (didn't know about inverting them first). but i do think the shields are too big, dh is convinced my nipples are too big for the medela ones and won't fit, but need to measure them.

Very very early days yet, but at last i feel a bit more optimistic now. thank you so much all of you for all your wonderful advice.