Moving to formula and feeling upset about it

[Going2bamum]

Hi son was born 3 weeks prem and I don't think my milk supply came in properly. However I have turned his 5lb 1 weight to 8lb 6. I have for the last 3 weeks been dual feeding.

Anyway he is now 7 weeks ion and for the last 2 days I have fed him formula as I didnt feel I had enough milk. If I breast fed him he would be hungry straight away. So I have been topping up with formula. Anyway I decided enough was enough and moved to formula in the hope that 1) he puts on more weight and is more content and 2) I don't have to get up 4 /5 times during the night.

I only ever intended breast feeding for 3 months but now I ve made the move and half happy with it but half upset about it and feel quite down.

I know that whenever I made the move I would feel like this but has anyone got any advise ??

Well it's entirely up to you and you should do what makes you and your baby happy. If you do want to continue with bf, for what it's worth, I think the feeling of 'full breasts' and the milk coming down changes over the months. Mine felt very heavy and full at first then started feeling really light about the 7 week mark, but despite that the supply was perfectly fine, so it might be that you have no reason to worry about your supply.

His weight gain seems very good to me so far, but I am no expert, is there any particular reason you are worried he is not gaining enough?

As far as I know the baby's desire to eat does not change with bf or ff so if he needs to eat at night, which seems perfectly normal at this young age, he will continue to do so with ff. My DD is 5.5 months old and still eats a lot at night, the only thing that saves my sanity is bf and co-sleeping. If I had to get up to make up bottles I would be dead by now, but whatever works for each person.

I was heartbroken when bfing didn't work out with DS. He was a big boy (9.5lbs) and very hungry but also fidgetty. By 3 weeks my nipples were shredded, I'd had a bout of mastitis and he wanted the boob every 2 hrs. When I tried expressing from the sorest boob, feeding of the other, I was essentially pumping or feeding 24/7. I did this for a week.

Then, I realised I couldn't go on like that and moved to ff. I cried at every feed for about a week. Then I realised that I'd slept, DS was more settled, I didn't have pain and DH wasn't worrying about my sanity anymore.

I guess this isn't advice as such but just giving you my experience, sympathy and very big well done for doing what you've done up to now, and makimg the hard decision to move on.
Formula isn't the enemy - it is a lifesaver for a lot of families.

((hugs))

breastfed babies do feed little and often, and one of the main reasons people give up breastfeeding is because they feel they have too little milk because baby is feeding a lot!
generally there is nothing wrong with their milk supply though, you just need to trust your body. the more your baby feeds the more milk you will make.

if you would like to continue breastfeeding i'd strongly suggest seeing a breastfeeding counsellor from LLL or similar, esp if you can see them in person.

agree that his weight gain is good... why do you feel he needs to put more on?

No sorry I don't feel like he has to put more on. I'm happy with the progression he has made but I do feel that if I breast fed during a 24 hour period then I run out ! The other day I fed him and the feeling was awful like he was sucking nothin which made me feel sick. Then he was starving. So I was thinking why am I spending 30-40 mins feeding him for him to be still hungry???? Last night on formula I got up once with him.

I think I'll still with the formula but just feel bad about it even though my baby seems to love it!!

I should also say that because my milk wasn't in proper at the beginning I had to feed and top up after every feed I felt like a continous tap that's why I started dual feeding but I couldnt carry on 4 ever??

I felt bad when I gave up too, think it's totally normal to feel that way. Don't worry, the feeling will pass, and you should feel very proud of yourself for getting this far! .

My DS was 8 weeks early, and I managed to pump enough milk for him but once we moved to exclusive bf he wasn't strong enough to stimulate my supply and it vanished (search my username for threads about it if you're interested, won't hijack your thread with my story). I've not been able to get my supply back up, and was making myself very very unhappy trying. So now I offer him a boob before each feed, sometimes he latches on, sometimes not, sometimes he sucks, sometimes he doesn't. If my boobs feel uncomfortably full, I use a pump and feed him the ebm, otherwise I don't express. This is what works for us, and I am finally approaching happy! Do what works for you, if you aren't ready to let go of bf completely could you do something similar? If you are ready though, go for it and don't beat yourself up, or let anyone talk you out of it, they're not the ones up all night with you DC!

Be proud of yourself whatever you decide (I'm repeating advice given to me on this very forum), you've given your baby the best possible start. I noticed in the NICU that very few mums manage to (for whatever reason) bf for very long if at all, and it seemed rare for a baby to be exclusively bf on discharge. My main piece of advice would be to trust your instincts. My DS is my first baby, so I believed HCPs who told me he was getting enough milk from bf, that his constipation and dark urine were nothing to worry about. I ignored the little voice that said they were wrong because hey, what do I know?! But lo and behold, I was 100% right, and following advice that went against my instincts cost me my chance to maybe exlusively bf my DS, and caused him to become constipated and dehydrated. No-one has ever had YOUR baby before!

Phew, that was long, sorry!