When does breastfeeding become enjoyable?

[happysmellyfeet]

I have read in awe some threads about mums who breastfeed for 3 years or so and many others about what a wonderful thing breastfeeding is, not just for baby but for mum. I am currently on week 5 and I just don't feel like that. In fact I find myself thinking things like 'only another 4 1/2 months'. (when) will that feeling change and I start to love it? Or are there some people who always find it difficult and not much fun?

The first 6-12 weeks are really hard. It's difficult to say when it will "click" for you and become easier, but for most people it does some time. For a lot it's around 6-8 weeks, others find that at 3 months or so when you stop feeling engorged and leaky between feeds, or some find it easier at 6 months when they introduce solids & feeds start to spread out a bit more. Some people find it brilliant from the start, and some find it hard the whole time and stop as soon as they feel they can.

How long is a piece of string??

Thanks Bertie and sorry for the rather negative post! 'Twas a hard night last night!
Right I am going to take a more positive approach. Firstly it is only 5 weeks. Secondly I need to identify my problems and work on them one by one.

Problems:

1. can't feed lying down; too scared to try having only just got over horrendous latch/pain issues
2. not too confident about feeding out and about so staying in far too much
3. lack of routine doing my head in!
4. beyond tired, probably due to 1)
5. guilt due to not spending enough time with ds1 due to 1-4 above
6. leaky, full boobs doing my head in - normal or oversupply?

Just offloading! Feel better already

no advice but just wanted you to know you're not alone. bf still extremely painful for us, as well as all the reasons you state (except 6!), so it's far from enjoyable for us either. hope it will get better for you soon.

I would say it was around the time I learnt to feed lying down! I would suggest persevering, by 5 weeks you will almost certainly recognise a bad latch that you wouldn't have done at the beginning so try not to be too scared.

You won't necessarily find it "enjoyable" but I'd say it becomes much much much easier from somewhere around 12 weeks. Do try to work on problems 1 and 2 because if you can solve those your life will become about a hundred times easier right away.

Aww, there there. Give the latch issues a little while longer to resolve and then try feeding lying down again - it will make the night feeds so much more bearable.
Does your local cinema do a Watch With Baby session? Highly recommended to get you out of the house and stop the days all fuzzing into one, and you can feed all the way through without worrying about it because a) everyone else will be with a baby and b) it's dark so noone will see.
Leakage issues will probably improve soon with any luck. And at least you've got past the pain, so well done for that.

(oh sorry, saw that you have an older DS so Watch With Baby perhaps not an option unless he goes to nursery). Do you have any antenatal friends you can go out with to get you used to bf in public?

Hi

I just wanted to say that I felt exactly the same at 5 weeks, it was summer time too and we were just hot, sticky and bothered all of the time. I came to dread every feed and I had none of the problems you list - except that i could never master feeding lying down either - it got easier for me once I was able to really identify what he actually needed (a feed, comfort, sleep etc) so I wasn't constantly feeding him - at five weeks it's so hard to establish whats what, or it was for me. That cut down 'feed' time dramatically and we fell into a routine, it was about me understanding him I think and as you know, that will come.

This isn't for everybody but if it comes down to the point where you're going to give it up, you do have the option to combination feed. We gave a ff as bedtime feed/top up from pretty early on - it really worked for us and took pressure off in all sorts of areas and I used to so look forward to dp taking over just for that one feed. Like I said, it isn't for all, but I felt very similar to you and it helped me carry on.

I found going out difficult so introduced an expressed milk bottle early on. This gave me a break and reduced fear about feeding in public. Also, I would google feeding areas in places where I was headed as a back up plan - john lewis for example are brilliant - m&s a bit crap, and we even got a little tent for beach times! Its all about planning.....and gaining confidence and give yourself a break, 5 weeks is brand new!

My little man is now 6 months and I'm so very pleased I stuck with it, he has started to drop feeds now we're weaning and I'm so sad! I've been really enjoying feeding him since about 16 weeks and I now cherish every feed!

You're doing brilliantly, think how many feeds he's already had the benefit of at 5 weeks.

Okay, let's see if we can make any of these any easier for you :)

1. Can try giving you some tips if you like? Pull baby down lower than you think (start with his nose level with your nipple, not his mouth, even if it seems like a big stretch for him - that's what you want.) keep him in close to your body. Start from a biological nurturing position if this is easier (if you google this you will find lots of articles, pictures & videos) You want one arm straight out above him to stop him travelling up and under pillows etc, and the other arm cuddling him/pulling him in and down. You may find this easier once you're more confident at latching - and he is. He's learning too!

1. Is just a case of building up your own confidence really. Rest assured that most people aren't even looking at you, and the ones who are, most of them are either thinking "Awww" or haven't noticed you're feeding. Try to plan your outings before you go out - does a particular shop or shopping centre have a nice feeding room? Is there a cafe which has a more private area? Children's Centres are often great places to go if you have more than one child under 5. If there's a breastfeeding support group, even better, and older siblings are usually welcomed. Not always, but if it's for under-ones only due to safety reasons it should say on any posters etc. Ask your HV? I can get you some links which may help you to find a local BF group. I agree with the suggestion of finding other bf mums to go out with as well - somehow it feels less nerve wracking when there are two or more of you!

You can also practice in front of a mirror to see what others can see - ie, not much. If you are really worried, you could look at getting a nursing cover? Lots of mums find that they give them confidence to feed in public because you can't see anything, but they aren't as faffy or annoying as having a muslin over the baby's head.

1. I can't help with because I'm hopeless at keeping up any sort of routine. But I know it's possible. If it helps, something I liked about bf was not needing a routine because everything is always ready to go.

1. Hopefully cracking #1 will help with this.

1. Again not sure because I only have one, but there have been lots of threads about entertaining DC1 while feeding DC2.

1. Should settle down at 3 months ish. You'll be so used to it by then that a lot of women panic and think their milk has gone - it's quite a sudden change. It's normal though and quite a relief!

I think a lot of women who enjoy breastfeeding now probably found it hard at some point. I dreaded every feed and cried during them because it hurt so much. I had to tell my DH to stop suggesting formula because he couldn't bear seeing me in pain.

I think it got easier at about 8 weeks and I'm so glad I stuck with it (I'm too lazy to be preparing bottles etc TBH). I wouldn't describe it as particularly 'enjoyable' but it's easy most of the time (DS gets very distracted in public).

It's worth keeping in mind that you might feel like you're getting somewhere for them to go through a growth spurt and it starts hurting again because they feed so much. It took me by surprise every time!

Also I hated the idea of feeding in public but forced myself to do it and it really wasn't so bad. I turned into a hermit in the early days but gradually got there by feeding in the car quite a bit before going shopping etc (multi-storey ones were best - park facing the wall).

I found feeding lying down best for me but had to at first because of a rather nasty birth. It helps relax me and it's like having a quiet break. We even have a little snooze together sometimes. It helped when feeding was painful as if I held him I found I would grip him a bit hard when trying not to scream!

Hi, I've never posted before although found lots of advice from these forums. I had to reply though because at 5-6 weeks I think I was at my lowest point with breastfeeding. DS wanted to feed constantly. - hadn't worked out that at that time his tired cry was the same as his hungry cry. I had no time to even have a bath and I couldn't express. I'd spend lots of time in tears. But something happened around 8 weeks. He stared to be able to play on his gym and have time when he wasn't feeding constantly. By about 10 weeks I stared to love it. He's now 19 weeks and I still love it, I'm so pleased I kept going. Good luck I hope it gets better for you soon.

I have to be honest here and say that I'm 4 months in and Ive never found it particularly enjoyable. I do it as it is best for my son.

I do, however, love how the boob is a magical 'cure-all' for most things!

I don't particularly like feeding in public (OALD makes it a messy faff) and am hoping to get DS to take a bottle from me so I can feed him expressed milk while out.

I always thought I'd feed till 6 months... Then revised it significantly downwards, as I found it very difficult and painful and thought i couldnt cope. But it was so important to me to breastfeed (had a traumatic birth which was as far from our birth plan expectations as is possible - I've achieved just 2 things from my birth plan: no pain relief, and breastfeeding) as I know the benefits it has for my baby.

Now I don't really know when I'll stop. I imagine it will only get easier as the little man starts solids, so maybe the enjoyment will happen for me yet :)

Another one here who isn't a fan. Don't think I'll make it to six months but am giving it a go!

I didn't really like it before 6 months, I had had IMMENSE issues in the early days. and it became more and more enjoyable after that. I've particularly liked doing it when he's been older, though we are coming to the end now (he is getting closer to 2). After 15 months, we were only doing maybe 3-4 feeds a day, very fast, and it was the only time an active toddler was calm and chilled out in my arms. Even now if I am really stuck and he is hyper, I know it will calm him and I will get a cuddle..

Problems:

1. can't feed lying down; too scared to try having only just got over horrendous latch/pain issues

2. not too confident about feeding out and about so staying in far too much

3. lack of routine doing my head in!

4. beyond tired, probably due to 1)

5. guilt due to not spending enough time with ds1 due to 1-4 above

6. leaky, full boobs doing my head in - normal or oversupply?

7. Gets easier by about month 4 I found where she started looking like a baby than a peanut and I didn't feel I might squish it.

8. In 11mths Ive fed outside once. Ive never fed in a cafe or on the bus. I don't get why people want to or do do that. Most shopping centres now have toilets/family room places or hells teeth there are changing rooms in most shops! An occasional emergency bottle won't ruin your supply and you won't be shot for giving it. Id rather shoot the stringent BF fanatics instead.

9. Join the local children's centre for free baby groups. A routine develops, time you get up, time of breakfast, preferred going out times, nap times, lunch times. You don't set that, it just happens, and roughly happens the same times each day. Thats about as organised as we got anyway!

10. Nah, your on week 5, gets better as feeding times get less.

11. Depends, does ds1 want you to? He might be quite happy, have you asked him? Don't assume something. He might prefer things generally, or just want some time occasionally which Im sure you could sort out.

12. normal at this stage and will settle down as 3) gets sorted out.

Best o luck!

With dd I found it really tough for a couple of months but 6-7 weeks was a lowpoint. After that it got gradually better and feeding lying down really helped with that. I was so exhausted after a terrible labour and delivery and so drained from the constant nightfeeds and not being able to feed lying down that I felt touched out, shackled to bfing and a bit resentful. It slowly got better and by 4 months I was enjoying the cuddles, the grins, the painfree feeds etc. I fed dd until she was 3.4 in the end.

I have a 10wo ds now and I've found it easy and enjoyable from day 1 and I swear feeding lying down and learning to feed in a sling are the reasons why. I sleep 9hrs a night with him helping himself and I have energy to feel positive about it all.

LaCiccolina, it's not necessarily about wanting to feed in certain places, more the baby wanting to be fed iyswim. I live in a town where there isn't a shopping centre and no clothes shop. It's a bench or nothing. And my school run involves a bus journey and if ds needs a feed, he needs a feed. I don't particularly want to be unbuttoning 988 layers in this weather whilst on the no 11 bus but it's a darn sight more pleasant than ds screaming with hunger.

I felt exactly the same as you at week 5. Couldnt wait till 6 months so I could give up. Now I'm nearly at 6 months and started gentle weaning and all of a sudden I feel like I'm going to miss BFing!

It does get much much much MUCH easier once you don't have to think about latch anymore and can just wave baby in general direction of your nipple. That happened for me at about week 16 maybe?

All of a sudden feeding lying down is a breeze, your boobs really settle down and you will have built your confidence up with feeding out and about. That said, and I know there are lots of MNers who scorn them, I have a feeding cover that I love and still use. Lots of my antenatal group friends use muslins over babies head but I have never been able to master that and now my DD is grabbing and yanking stuff and getting distracted by everything, I love my cover even more.

Just take each day as it comes. 6 months will be upon you before you know it. Good luck!

First time round, a couple of weeks. 2nd time (when I knew what I was aiming for) I had terrible troubles to begin with. It started getting easier at 6-7 weeks. After 3 months, it started feeling like it should. Now at a year, I am starting to think I might only have a year left and want it to last longer! Hang on in there.

OP, 5 weeks was a real low point for us breastfeeding too - literally only survived by going from feed to feed, by 15 weeks I didn't mind it and now my DD is 26 weeks and I am actually enjoying it. Good thing too as DD is an obstinate bottle refuser so I'll likely be feeding for a while yet. She's put herself on her own routine and feeds take five minutes.

You've done amazingly for getting this far and it will get better.

Well there's no way I'm quitting now, having been through all sorts of pain and worry at the beginning!
The tough thing is that it's just so relentless.
Due to the advice on this thread I tried to feed lying down last night and it was surprisingly ok. No idea how much he took though but he seems v chilled out this morning so presume it was ok?!! I feel great having slept much better.
Once we've cracked this we'll move onto feeding outside.
And yes, really need to find some rl friends with little babies, know plenty of people with kids but older.
Sorry to those of you who are/were in the same boat. Well done for keeping at it.

Well mates with children will presumably be happy for you to come round to tea and bf, or to go out together to the playground or wherever and offer moral support while you bf.

It's all about confidence.

Re feeding in public, my suggestions would be 1) do you have a bf support group or bf café thing near you (often held in surestart or childrens centres)? They?re a good start as you know everyone there will be pro bf.

2. do you have a local café in the park or something where all the NCT type groups meet? At the café in our local park there?s always about 20 bfing women in there so noone would bat an eyelid.

FWIW I think you?re at the hardest part now, the post birth high is gone and you?re in the full on relentless cluster feeding growth spurting relentless slog part of it. It will get better soon!