Help me be a better mum please!

[iamamilkmachine]

Any advice is welcome so thank you in advance.
I'm a single mum to a 17 month old high needs toddler, she's recently gone from sleeping for 3-5 hours in a row at night to hourly waking with constant breastfeeding all night. This has gone on for 2 weeks now and it's not so much the lack of sleep/20-30 breast feeds a day that's getting to me but the hair pulling/biting/nipping and scratching! She's staying awake from 3am-5am most nights and it doesn't seem to be getting any better.
Has anyone had experience with this/know how to curb the hair pulling etc?
I just want to be able to not get resentful in the middle of the night.
Sorry for the rant!

I felt pretty resentful too when my DS was like this at 12/14m, waking 5 x a night, messing about, generally he was very annoying and it is so hard when you are tired.

What have you tried? I would go for patting/shushing her to see if she might settle without a feed. Are you cosleeping? You could make your breasts less accessible with a nightie/pjs.

DS did eventually reduce then drop the night feeds but I did need to encourage him.

Dr Jay Gordon night weaning info might be worth a read. look here

iam sounds like you are doing extremely well in difficult circumstances.

Can you rule out things like being poorly and teething? Is she well in herself? Has there been a recent change that she could be unhappy about?

If she is awake from 3am till 5am what time does she get up and what are her daytime naps like?

Does she eat well during the day and have you read this, this, this or this book?

If you are co-sleeping have you tried moving her into a different bed? She may nurse less if she isn't snuggled up against you.

Mine went through a hellish stage of wanting to play, or wanting to eat, in the night. I did give him a banana a couple of times but didn't want to start a new bad habit of late night snacking, but he was also a massive eater and I just knew he was extra hungry!

Thanks for replying, have tried the Jay Gordon night weaning technique but she was not having any of it. She currently sleeps in her own big bed-she could climb out of her cot bed at 13 months-until around midnight when I get too tired to settle her and then leave and so, bring her into my bed. I wear a jumper in bed to try masking the smell/availability of milk but she wakes up and screams for 'MEEEEK' repeatedly. I can get her to sleep once or twice by patting/shushing/singing to her but longer than a few hours without a feed and that's when the pain starts-she know's she's doing it to get her own way but I don't have the energy to stop feeding her with no one else to cut in at night.

Sear night time parenting is a good read, very BF minded.

I had a friend who's DD was very similar to this. She started offering more solids during the day, 6 small meals a day and only bfing after solids. It was difficult at first doing the 6 meals but they can be things like sandwiches. It worked for her so might be worth a try.

It will stop in the end. It's just so bloody hard while you are putting up with it, isn't it.

If it helps, DS now sleeps in his own bed and most nights he stays in it all night, he's 2.10 and self weaned in Jan/Feb. We never officially coslept but he would get in with me if he woke up after I had gone to bed, IYKWIM.

JJJ, thanks for the links, have had a read and generally get on with Sears things. She currently gets up between 6.30 and 7.30 - difficult on a work day when we leave the house at 7am - and has a nap after lunch from around 11.45-12.45, she goes to bed between 6.30 and 7.30 depending on what sort of day it has been and how tired she is, every day we have the same bed time routine of bath, books downstairs, pjs on, one book in bed then sleep.
She is a great eater and loves food - 3 meals plus 2 snacks a day and eats a wide variety, she just really likes breast feeding!!
My main problem is honestly the hair pulling etc - anyone got any tips on how to stop that?

Haven't got any experience of hair pulling and I know how tired you must be, but if she does pull your hair could you give her something else to play with or just delatch her and roll over. Know she won't like it but if you explain that hair pulling = no bfing she might get the idea soon.

Do you work full time? How much milk is she getting in the day?

I work 16 hours - full day Tuesday and Thursday, she wouldn't take expressed milk but gets a cup of cow's milk on her one day at nursery and sometimes does when with my parents the other day. All other days she feeds as is usual for her - on demand a lot!
Will try giving her a toy as a distraction - thanks for the suggestion.

If it's a recent thing are you sure it's not teething or another illness? I'm just wondering if some calpol would help her go a bit longer in the short term?

She has a cold but isn't teething, the hair pulling started with the extra night waking before the cold though.

So after reading all the posts, I'd give her a soft toy to play with to try to keep her hands busy, I try tanking her up with lots of yummy solids in the day and liek Apple says, I'd give Calpol a go tonight to see if that helps.

Hope you have a better night.