And yet again, proof that breastfeeding mothers need support!

[motherinferior]

My sister's breastfeeding her new baby! She had a dreadful time with her first baby - struggled on for four months but gave up after that, in masses of pain most of the time, babe refusing to feed etc etc (and, regrettably, not very good phone support from b/feeding counsellor)...but this time round she's had incredibly good support from the m/wives in hospital, and she's soooo proud of herself because she was very much doubting that it would get off the ground.

Really goes to show the difference support makes. She said it was the fact that every time she fed someone would come and sit with her and be supportive without pushing her too far. And I'm so pleased and proud that I thought I'd post about it!

well done to her ..It sounds like my experience - what tips have they given her? or just reassurance?

I totally agree.

I didn't breastfeed due to lack of support and being brainwahsed by family that it was an unecesary thing to have to put yourself through. combined with pushy, dictatorial midwives who just wanted to push their policy without regard to how I was feeling.

I am very worried this time as I really want to try, I know that I will have no support and will encounter much critism from people close to me.

Its great that your sister has found the support she needs this time and of course she has you encouraging her. Family makes a lot of difference in my opinion.

Julie,
YOu can always call me for support if you need it.

That's great Motherinferior, it really makes a difference when you have good support, hope things continue to go well for her!

good for her. isn't it a shame it is such a lottery wether you get the right support or not. EVERYONE should get that one to one support regardless of where they live or give birth.

Thank you Jan.

My mil informed me yesterday that she has already bought me some bottles. Last time she turned up at my house when I was 11 weeks pg with a steriliser and 10 bottles.

She has also brought my brother's wife some bottles (who is very undecided and feeling a lot like I did last time).

KMS is so right about it being a lottery, things like seeing a different midwife at every ante and postnatal visit mean you never get to build a relationship and not all midwives seem to know enough about b/f to offer individual help tailored to the needs of that particular woman.

Do you know I bought myself bottles and a steriliser before I had my first baby? In my day (eldest 16yrs), babies were often given water so I was making sure that I was prepared to be able to do that.

JulieF - you need to learn as much as possible about breastfeeding for your own needs. It can be so hard to pitch it at the right level for eveyone that women can be alienated. If you find the midwives offputting - make a point of finding out the information based on the questions you want answered. You could get information ans support from NCT or Breastfeeding Network before your baby is born. Mumsnet is a brilliant resource and hopefully you will find lots of support here from other mumsnetters if you decide to give B/F a go.

Great news about your sister motherinferior

I'll pass on your messages; I think the main advice has been about positioning - she kept saying to me, in amazement, 'it doesn't hurt!'.

JulieF, that's horrible for you. Are they little bottles? you could always use them as babyfood containers if so

i agree, support is sooo important. in hospital the midwives didn't want me to leave, because breastfeeding wasn't established, but it was nearly three days before i got any proper help - the midwife allocated to me kept saying she had other people to see 'who needed her more' and didn't have time. then a fab midwife really helped me and i went home. i've also used the nct line a couple of times and now we're doing fine with it. i've been amazed how unsupportive family can be - if i hear once more 'at least with formula you know how much they're getting'.

JulieF, would it help to say kindly and quietly and firmly to your mil and any other relevant person, that this time, it feels important to you to start breastfeeding, and that having support with this, and not puzzlement or criticism, is something you'll be really pleased to have...you can say you have done a lot of thinking and reading, and this is your choice. Perhaps your partner will back you up.

Then leave it at that.

If there is any discussion, or sniffs, or raised eyebrows, or comments along the lines 'well, all mine were bottle fed and they're fine' stay kind and calm and firm, and say you know that, but this is your choice, and you are aware it may not be easy, and you won't be discussing it any more.

Honestly, it has zip to do with anyone else!!