short hourly feeds!!!Demented

[brilaunt]

Hi all, can anyone help me pleeeaase! My LO is 18 weeks, I am bf and have never really got the hang of it, having seen a lactation consultant etc. I thought things had got a little easier after those first hellish 6 weeks having all breastfeeds then supplements of formula when she wanted them (about 6oz a day of formula) but know its much worse... My lo is now refusing bottles and feeding every 1.5 hours. Not good effective feeds though, short crappy ones, 3 mins a side max and then comes off grumpy and has to switch sides etc. Its such a struggle to keep her on. Weight gain not fantastic either. I'm so demented, i wish she would take a bottle and then I could cut out breastfeeds all together as its just not working for us. P.s bottles are a no no... have tried all tricks in book. Does anyone have any anecdotal/experience/sdvice... I'm tearing my hair out...
Thanks

Brilaunt, I am sorry I don't have any experience with this, but I just wanted to say you are doing great to have lasted this long and don't give up! It does sound like she is never getting a satisfying feed and I don't know why, but you could try expressing milk and feeding it to her separately. You don't have to use a bottle, there are other methods. Do you know the www.kellymom.com page? It has lots of great advice. You say you have had help from lactation consultants, but the situation has changed since then so maybe you should get help from one now, or ring the Leche League.

Good luck and I hope you can sort this out.

Sounds like you mite need some more support from a breastfeeding counciler. Try ringing one of the helplines.

I can say a few things though. Short feeds aren't nessarly a bad thing, baby's do get more efficent at removing milk quiker as they get bigger. If she's suddenly dropped all suppliments then she's probably feeding so often to up your supply.

Do you offer her more then two sides at a time? This is called switch nursing and can help up your supply and increase her milk intake.

It's not uncommone for baby's to feed this often even at this age, does she go longer at night at all?

There are other ways of getting her to take milk if she woun't have a bottle. At this age you could even try a cup but it may take her a little time to learn to use one.

When you say weight gain hasn't been good how not good I take is she is gaining though.

I do think you need more help though then we can give hear.

Good luck

Thank you very much both of you, I have spoken to the lacation consultant and she thinks my milk supply is low... I think that I have doen all I can now... MigGril, I have tried all tricks in book when initially faced problems, switch feeding, breast compression have also taken domperidone... this worked for a time. I thought I was over the teething problems but It has never been great, a constant worry and struggle really.I came from my inlaws tonight and she screamed the whole 20miles home although she had had three short feeds there. I have been desperate to bf successully and have loved the comfort that she has got from being at my breast... fact is though, its all too much and I am going to draw the curtain on bf. :( Tonight is my first night, she has taken 3oz from a bottle which was a struggle. I am dreading it when she wakes for a feed and comfort in the night and all I can offer her is a cuddle... Its like saying goodbye to long lost friend and I feel so very guilty. My poor little baby... I hope she doesnt feel I dont love her anymore because I'm not feeding her myself. I know that this is best for her and my mental health in the long term though... Its just getting through the initial bit. Thanks again for your advice...x

Possibly wrong, but my 19 week DD feeds every 1 1/2 hours for about 2 mins each side. She is tracking her centile line fine though so I've assumed she was getting enough. Are you sure that your DD is not actually getting enough? What do you mean by weight gain not great?

If you'd still like the closeness of breastfeeding and she's still get some milk from you to. Have you considered trying a suplimtary feeding system instead of bottle's. You'd then still get the closeness and as I said she'd still get some BM but she'd also get the extra milk she needs.

like I said bottles arent the only answer espicaly if your stuggling to get her to take them.

Please please don't beat yourself up about this. Your baby will be happier with a relaxed mum, whether you are bf or bottle feeding. Make the decision that seems right for you and go with it, but don't think that just because you don't feed her tonight you can't change your mind. Do you have a partner with you - what are their feelings?

My personal experience was really struggling with dd1. I did manage to keep with it (largely due to lots of support and learning to feed lying down and despite dark mutterings from HV about weight gain), despite hourly feeds that often lasted 40 mins at a time for the first 6-8 weeks or so. Looking back, I think in my case it was comfort feeding more than anything else. When we did have to go for bottles due to return to work she was a total refuser and only leaving her with my DP and a bottle for several days in a row (plus trying umpteen types of bottle) got us there. However, I did have a relatively easy time compared with what you're going through.

If you want to go for bottles, then go for it and don't feel bad. Don't feel you have 'failed' in any way - you need to do what you feel is right both for you AND your baby. Your love for them is what matters - the cuddles ARE the important thing, and you have done brilliantly in giving her the best possible start.

If you do want to try and stick with bf, at least to a degree, then try talking to different lactation consultants - they DO have different views and advice from someone else might just help.

Sorry - I'm no expert, but I just want to send virtual hugs and tell you to try and see the big picture, and not to feel bad about whaever decision you make.

I second Migril's suggestion. Also, if you use the sns you will keep up your milk supply and maybe even get back to EBF. I know how very tough it is though. My DS (17 weeks) is feeding approximately every 2 hrs and then for c. 45 mins! So it's basically one hour on one hour off, except at night when he will sleep for up to 6 hrs. His weight gain has been very slow too, but I hope feel that the bf will pay off in the long run.

My DS (21 weeks) is going through a phase (I hope!) of being really fidgety and grumpy when feeding. He's gone from 2-3 hours between feeds to more frequent short feeds, often pulls off and starts crying as if I've removed the milk from him, and repeats this usually until I swap sides. He seems to only want whichever side I've not offered (used to have both sides each feed) - sometimes settles on this side but sometimes just seems really distracted and not interested after a few mins.

I'm hoping that he's still getting what he needs as he's already down at the bottom of the charts. I've been reading that babies often have a fussy stage around this time were they get clingier, have more mood swings and are distracted during feeding so am keeping my fingers crossed that it sorts itself out.

Sorry I can't offer more in the way of advice but hope it gets easier for you.