how can I convince my friend to try beastfeeding...

[suzi2]

... without sounding really preachy? (which is a problem for me now because I think it's great!)

Nooo, wasn't saying you shouldn't mention it - goodness knows I feel the same as you about it! It's just about how to phrase it and my glucose-befuddled brain's not working it out too well tonight!

Are you still bf yourself suzi? can you make sure see sees you at it?

I would also encourage her to go to antenatal classes, nct ones if the local midwife-led ones are not so great, as they are able to be evangelical

Round here (Cardiff) there used to be an antenatal course on bf. That was really helpful.

Also-I do know people who were against it while pg who just fell into it after the baby was born, cos the mw just assumed they would.

Why doesn't she want to? Is it her first?

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she'll find her own way, as we all do (well, eventually!) and if she asks you about it, tell her how fab it is.

Pruni - she seems really shy about talking about it. Like her boobs are naughty things. I guess I was 'lucky' as I've always been used to my boobs being part of the conversation.

oh er, Suzi, why's that then?

My best friend didn't beast feed (or even breast feed ) She's still my best friend, I love her to bits, I still think she's a fab Mum, and I never even entertained the idea of trying to persuade her to breast-feed (even though I did). Each to their own.

4 months before I had ds I had no idea how I was going to feed him. Ended up breastfeeding for 2.5 years. Has she done her antenatal course yet?

I was a bit shy about talking about it before I fed ds. I think it seems really weird before you do it yourself. I think I told my friend that it seemed a strange thing before you do it, but for me at least, it soon felt really normal and fine. I also said that if she tried it and didn't like it, it wasn't like a life sentence.

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Perhaps just say that you're happy to talk to her about feeding, sleeping, etc, etc - tell her you really don't expect her to do as you do because everyone has to find their own way to do things and all babies are different, but if she has any questions, just ask and you'll do your best to help her out with what worked for you - oh, and btw, you know this great website

I think you do better to say quite casually that you liked it, reather than implying she 'ought' to. She might well be thinking seriously about it, but find it embarrassing to talk about. I could understand that.

I find it really frustrating actually! One friend wasn't going to because she thought it would ruin her boobs. I think the fact that I and another friend talked positively about it and the realisation later on in pregnancy that here boobs were already ruined was enough to spur her on. Never exclusively BF (which I had to keep my mouth shut about!!) but did for several months.

A work colleague asked about it and said she would try, but didn't seem positive about it. Kind of like, after giving birth its the last thing I'll need to be worrying about etc. If it hurts, sod it. She had a planned C section in the end (transverse), making it even more unlikely if she were not keen in the first place, but you never know. I just feel like wanting to shout to do it, but I did get a little obsessed by the whole importance thing while I was BF DS. Seems an age ago now though.

Thanks everyone. I think I'll just be really really relaxed and cool about it all and see if she mentions it at all. I really don't want to preach to her as I think it will get her back up. May need to mention the 'hidden' benefits that noone tells you about such as the sitting on the sofa for ages with the "he's fallen asleep" excuse and the huge convenience of my boobs going wherever I go! Her antenatal classes don't start until February I think so maybe they'll help a bit.

Dinny - my boobs have been under discussion since I was 12 as they are quite large. But at least now they're useful!

Suzi, my nickname at one of the less enlightened places I worked (when I was 22 and didn't know any better) was "Hooters"... So I well know that feeling!

My DH wanted me to try breastfeeding, I wasn't too keen. But we made a deal, he quit smoking, or gave up his motorbike (or something like that) and I'd give breastfeeding a try. I always made it clear to DH I'd try and if I didnt get on with it, I'd give up. The hospital almost refused to let me home as I hadn't fully established breastfeeding and I'd had a c-section so nobody held much hope about me continuing to breastfeed. We had all the formula and bottles in the cupboard. But, 12 weeks on, DD is still breastfeed exclusively (partly 'cause I cant get the wiley minx to take EBM via bottle so theres no point even cracking open the formula) and I'm sooooooooooo chuffed with myself!!

I think if you speak to your friend, just suggest she pushes past the first couple of weeks, after that it can be a clinch, and if it isn't, crack open the formula and know that the baby has had a decent start with all the goodness from the first feeds.

Oh and if she dislikes her breast if they are small, thats another pro. I was a 34B and my mum told me not to wear my shrug anymore because I look like Jordan