38 wks pg with No2. Failed to bf DD so hope to bf this one. Key tips?

[MrsArchchancellorRidcully]

DD was born by EMCS, very traumatic and we were both drugged up after the op and fell asleep for 3 hrs. Bf failed miserably and my milk never came in (due to blood pressure tablets I was on).

This time (38 wks today), i am having a lovely home water birth with an independent midwife who will give one to one care after the birth as well. I am also not on any meds. So all in all I am hopeful I will succeed this time round.

I am really keen to bf as it affected my bonding with DD when I couldn't.

Given I am coming to it as a novice, I'd appreciate your key tips for success in the first few weeks/months. As it's my 2nd, I have no problem with my life changing etc cos it already has - what I mean is, I'm not bothered about going out, drinking, losing my independence etc which affected me last time I just want to feed my baby properly IYSWIM.

Thanks

Biggest tip - find some local baby cafes/LLL/other support groups. Visit them before you have the baby if you can, so it doesn't seem so overwhelming and daunting if you have problems. It may really help to think "Ah, Anna might be able to help" rather than "eek, I've got to find X address, is it on this week, ooh, which bus, oh I need to find something presentable to wear..."

Be selective about whose advice you take on breastfeeding. Remember, GPs have basically no training, HVs and midwives can be patchy. Pick your experts!

And, more happily, put the baby to the breast as often as possible to start with. They cluster feed, want to feed all day, feed erratically to start with. And invest in some DVDs, books, or recordings of favourite TV for the older one.

I didn't know anything about bf but luckily I had a good MW who helped a lot and then got a lot of help off mumsnet as well, so do ask questions and people will respond.

I had to resist various relatives who panicked the first few days and felt the baby was being harmed by not getting anything to eat (she was getting colostrum and my milk came on day 3 after the birth so not exactly late, but some people around me were getting hysterical by this stage!). At the same time the baby can get a bit frustrated but it's worth percevering as it is the baby's sucking efforts that help stimulate the milk.

If you are in any pain ask for help as it means that something is not working as it should - the good news is that almost all problems can be overcome!

Yes, I would echo Booboostoo - don't panic when your milk doesn't come in for a few days, baby needs to suck as much as possible to bring it in (I thought of it as "ordering" the milk - happens when they have a growth spurt as well. They fuss and suck for a day or so to order more milk, and then it comes in). A bit of weight loss is normal at first (my midwife was more helpful than my HV re. this).

Make yourself and your DD1 as comfy as possible with dvds, drinks, snacks and the phone to hand and get settled on the sofa - newborns just want to be on the breast all the time!

If it hurts, get someone (breastfeeding cafes are good) to check your latch and buy that magic cream (lanisol??).

Have a glass of wine or a G&T if you fancy it! (this helped me through many a tricky moment!)

Eat lots of cake as this is very good for the baby

Feed on demand....however much the demands might not meet your expectations, or those of not-necessarily-informed HCPs.

My first child never fed for more than 10 minutes at a time. Midwife said this wasn't long enough and I should try to force her to take more. I tried....she projectile vomited. Quickly stopped trying and she still piled weight on just fine.

There were times in the early days when she fed several times an hour, for several hours in a row. Normal. My son never did anything of the kind and usually went two hours between feeds. Also normal. Constant feeding doesn't mean they're not getting enough, and larger-spaced feeding also doesn't mean they're not getting enough.

I agree with previous poster - check out all the local breastfeeding support places in the next week or two. Not sure how old your elder one is but every one I've ever been to has been fine with people bringing toddlers.

Thanks for all your comments - all very useful. One question I do have is this - should my nipples be painful now? I am leaking some colostrum but I also find that I get sharp nipple pain on a regular basis and wondered if that was any cause for concern?

My nipples got very sore and sensitive towards the end of pregnancy so I would think that it's normal. When are you due? Let us know how breast feeding goes!

ignore comments like 'feeding AGAIN??' and feed on demand.
don't try to do too much round the house.
keep hydrated.
enjoy!

This may sound really obvious but feeding on demand - does it mean every time baby cries you offer the breast or would you check first for wet nappy etc? Or does it just come with experience as you get to know your baby?
Sorry that's such an idiot question and if baby was rooting then clearly they want feeding but otherwise, is it just instinct? I really have no idea as DD really took to bottles and fed every 3 -4 hrs like clockwork (disclaimer - won't be influencing me - it really affected me that I couldn't feed her and I am determined to succeed with this one).

As an example, I remember when DD was tiny she got a bit of nappy rash which made her cry so i always checked she wasn't uncomfortable before trying her giving her with a bottle.

Countess I have 2-4 weeks to go, depending on when the baby decides to arrive. I have also bought a couple of stretchy wraps as I intend to wear the baby too. Luckily DD (now 3) will still go to nursery 3 days a week, so i have some days I can lie on the sofa and feed feed feed.

I didn't even notice my milk coming in, I just fed every time my baby squeaked and he seemed happy . Totally agree that you need to ignore comments about frequency of feeding, as long as your baby is satisfied, gaining weight etc. I did find that feeding was a bit sore to begin with, and I would probably have thought that something was wrong if it wasn't for my sister who was successfully bfing her 2nd, she too had sore nipples both times round for the first couple of weeks. I think some times the nipples need a few weeks to toughen up, i've had no problems since and am still bfing 11 months on. Good luck .

Crying is the last hungry sign that baby gives, it's better to offer when they are sucking thier hands, when they are turning thier head to one side and opening thier mouth, making a sucking motion with thier mouth, smacking or licking thier lips, these are all early hunger signs. Bfed babies feed alot more often than ffed as breastmilk digests really quickly, in the early weeks baby might feed hourly or more often for portions of the day, feeding almost constantly in the evenings is very common and totally normal, it's how baby keeps your supply up and fills themselves more for during the night. It's also a good way to get you more rest, so don't worry to much about housework etc and plan to be sat on the sofa all evening with snacks and drinks nearby.

I found after my first to just go with babys flow, trying to get any type of routine apart from the one baby sets itself is just frustrating and even more tiring. Breastfed babies feed for comfort as well as food and sometimes they are driven to feed when a growth spurt is approaching to make sure you have the extra milk they will need, so don't listen to people who will make a fuss about how often baby is feeding and say stupid things like 'you are going to make them spoiled' or 'you are making a rod for your own back' etc.

We've all had moments where we've sat there, tired, all touched out etc so just take one day at a time and make sure you relax and rest as much as possible.

I failed to feed my first past a few months (and some of that was fixed feeding) so I was determined to exclusively bfeed my 2nd. We had some problems, shallow latch because of tongue-tie, later on I got ductal thrush and she was a very sucky baby (reflux) who never slept but I was stubborn and never gave in and ended up feeding her until 22 months and she only weaned then beause I was 7 months pregnant with no.3 and she didn't like it when my milk changed, lol. You can do it! :o