Advice needed please about return to work, bfing, night weaning.

[missrose]

I'm back at work in two weeks and could really use some advice on how to manage breastfeeding my 1yr old dd.

I had started cutting back day feeds and night feeds and only feeding her when she actually wanted to instead of offering to see if she wanted any, iyswim.

We were doing really well, feeding at 6am, midday, 6pm, 7pm and midnight. I felt that the midday one was the only one I would have to drop in the last two weeks before work starts, ie now.
However, in the last two days she wants to feed all the time - she fed four times between midnight and 6am last night, for example. I think she may be teething. She has also wanted to feed all morning.

I just don't know what to do about this in light of returning to work and am getting lots of conflicting advice. Most of it seems to be pretty harsh - she has to get used to it, let her cry etc etc.

Is she going to be okay at the childminder's if I'm not there to feed her? I've been told that babies will adapt and she will find a different way to sleep without the breast if I am not there but it does seem to be leaving a lot to chance. She has also started wanting to feed to sleep again and it took me the best part of an hour to get her down for her nap this morning without feeding her. My natural inclination is to feed her but I don't want her to struggle at the CM's because she doesn't know how to fall asleep without feeding.

Would love to know how other people have resolved this as I'm feeling very emotional and tearful about not being able to give her what she needs. (That might just be the lack of sleep from last night though!)

I am planning to carry on bfing around work as much as I can.

That's great that you are planning to carry on BF when you go back to work. :)

I've no personal experience of it but there's a lot of great info here that you might find useful, practical tips as well as ideas on how to cope with separation.

This is a lovely book about working and BF, if there's a LLL group near you then they might have a copy that you can borrow.

My DD is 11MO and is fine while I am at work, I've just started back this week.

She seeks milk when I am there because I am there and it is comforting to her. She doesn't associate daddy with milk, so settles on him for a cuddle.

I tried to night wean her, but she after 2 days of compliance I got endless 'complain-ance' so I just gave up and we'll try again at Christmas. I only have to feed her once in the night, I gave up the dreamfeed and she's ok.

good luck :)

I don't see the point in trying to drop the feed before you are at work. If you are around, she'll think about the milk, and be sad if she doesn't get it. If you are not there, she won't expect it.

She'll be more distressed but you 'withholding' IYSWIM.

I have just returned to work, having done no preparation with regard to breast feeding.

My twins usually BF once or twice during the day if I'm around, but with grandma/at nursery they have just had water/cows milk. Then I feed when I get home, which is their bedtime feed. I still feed a few times each in the night too, but then we've never tried to night wean (too tired to try lol).

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I think she'll adapt and take more drinks in the day. The worst case is that she'll want to feed more in the night again, but then that could be because she's missed you rather than because she needs to food!

Thanks for your comments and the links, it's all been very useful and reassuring. I was finding it very difficult emotionally not to feed her when she wanted to so it's good to hear from those who are still feeding on demand and it's not caused any problems.

My main concern was that she would miss feeding at certain times and that would cause stress for her. We will both get used to it, sooner rather than later I hope!

I am still concerned about the length of the day but at this age I guess she does need to increase her intake of solids anyway. I think we will be both be desperate to bf by the time I get home!

Hi missrose. I was worried about this too. (I went back a month ago when DS was 12 months old.)

Until 11 months he was having bfs first thing in the morning, mid-afternoon and bedtime, plus one or two in the night. Then we went out for the afternoon to our NCT group's first birthday party at this soft play place, and he was so excited about the new toys and other babies to play with, he forgot all about the mid-afternoon feed. Over the next couple of weeks he stopped asking for it. So when I went back he was only feeding morning and bedtime. And he started sleeping through three or four nights a week - bliss!

I was also worried about how well he'd sleep at the CM's. But apparently she reads him books on the sofa and he falls asleep, or she rocks him to sleep in a bouncy chair - neither of which he's ever done with me

Good luck when the time comes.

It will be fine I promise! They are very quick to learn that certain things only apply in certain situations, so if you are not there she will not expect the feeds. I went back when DS was 7m and expressed for him. He was on a schedule at the cms but fed on demand at home with no problems. He?s also always fallen asleep well for the cm ? much better than he does for me! He is 14m now and we are still feeding at bedtime and in the morning, and sometimes other feeds if he?s poorly or upset or whatever.

You may find she feeds more when she?s with you as a reconnecting sort of thing.