Can't bottlefeed due to meds. Is it possible to "borrow" extra breastmilk?

[mrsamerican]

I am due with my first in January, and because of a chronic illness, I can't breastfeed (and yes, I've done all necessary research on my medications/bf-ing). I don't believe that my baby will be fat, blind or stupid from eating formula, but I do think even a little breastmilk is better in the long run than none.

I hear women at mum and baby group talking about having extra breastmilk in their freezers, weaning, etc. I would really like for baby to have breastmilk, even if it's only a few days worth.

Is it common to "borrow" breastmilk? Is it even safe? How would I go about asking without seeming like a complete weirdo?

Also, I realized that my title was completely wrong! First posting on MN and I embarrass myself already! It should say, "Can't BREASTFEED due to meds."

I think there are milk banks but these are usually for premature babies. I don't think you sound like a weirdo, I think you sound like someone who wants to do their best for their first baby. Why don't you ask La Leche League if they have any ideas? I presume you don't have a close friend or family member who would be willing / able to express for you.

Having said that if I'm totally honest, apart from the colostrum which you only produce for a new baby, I don't think 2 days breastmilk would make any difference over 2 days formula.

Sorry if I'm going over stuff you've covered in your research, but are these meds ones you need to restart as soon as possible after the birth, or ones you are on during pregnancy? If it's the former, could it be worth discussing with your doctor postponing for a few days to allow you to feed the colostrum?

I'd second trying to find out information from a source like LLL. In terms of informal arrangements, I guess it would depend what you were comfortable with. Milk bank milk come from mothers screened for diseases, etc.

I second the idea of asking an organisation like La Leche League for ideas. It may also be worth talking to your midwife to see if your local hospital has a milk bank that would be willing to help out.

People seem divided on the issue of safety. It is not uncommon to share breastmilk in some countries, whilst it is seen as a bit of an oddity in others. Donor milk in milk banks is screened, but I'm not sure what it entails.

I personally don't know what risks there may be, but I (along with most other women, I assume) was tested during pregnancy for all sorts, so would feel confident that my milk would be safe. It wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest if someone had asked for 'spare' breastmilk, and I wouldn't have thought them weird at all. Unfortunately as my DS is now 20 months, my breastmilk is considered unsuitable for young babies.

You can find more info about milk banks here. Maybe it would be worth emailing/calling them to see if they can help, given your circumstances.

Are you in the uk? I'm sure I've heard of an organisation called human mink for human babies which matches up donors with mums and babies. Might be worth investigating.

This and this might be worth a look

I doubt you'd be able to get milk from a milk bank as the milk is usually prioritised for prem babies as others have said.

Not at all weird by the way, and lots of women on these sites are more than willling to help out.

Good luck with your search and hope you find a solution that you are happy with.

Sorry, my DD pressed send!
Was also going to say there's a mnetter called organiccarrotcake who is really knowledgeable about donor milk, I think she's involved with ukamb. I imagine she will see your thread title and come and give advice, but if not it might be worth having a shout out for her.

Oh, and I also wouldn't object in the least to giving another mum some of my 'freezer milk' if I didn't need it, but if you wanted your baby exclusively on breast milk, I think you'd need lots of different sources of milk, and it might be that there's only a smaller group of people you want to/feel happy asking, iykwim

Human milk for human babies promote milk sharing - i'm a donor, though no one in my area has taken my milk up yet - early days!

www.facebook.com/HM4HBUK

I would say its pretty safe, as these are mothers feeding their own babies, so most are going to make sure its safe (ie not excessively drinking, taking drugs). the above link has lots of advice on this. you can screen donors to find the mother/milk you are happy with.

you may find you get enough donations to exclusively feed bm, but as you say a little breast milk is better than none.

note that you'll need to pay for any postage/delivery costs (unless you pick up of course!) and its reasonable for the donor(s) to ask for you to pay for or supply freezer bags for the milk - a lot of people are surprised at this. There are some sites onlythebreast.co.uk where you can buy milk, but otherwise donors shouldn't ask for money for their time.

you can pasteurize the milk at home too - google it for info

congratulations by the way! I'm happy to give advice (or milk!) if i can

ps - HM4HB used to be called eats on feets

Oh, I didn't realise they were the same organisation MotherPanda.

I linked to them separately...I always did think eats on feeds was an odd name.

I think it was American... pffft

Thank you for all the great advice! I'm not in the US at the moment, as I'm married to a Brit, so the UK links are great. HM4HB and Eats for Feets seem really good, and less weird than asking people I know. I'll definitely contact LLL closer to my due date and discuss with them what I might be able to do.

It's really broken me up that I can't BF because of my meds, but y'all have really helped a sister out (to put it in the American sense)!

do you live in the us normally? Because milk sharing/selling is a lot more common over there - due to more mums having to express at work. hm4hb have usa communities too. Although I think its easier for you to buy milk from milkbanks in America too.

Good luck xx

Apologies if you have already looked into this, but with some meds you can take them, pump and dump and then breastfeed later on. Might be worth a chat with your GP. If do go down this route, I would recommend hiring a hospital grade pump.

Good luck!