Anxious about bottle feeding in public/ Windy baby

[zosie24]

I tried and failed to breastfeed, and now I'm FF my 4 week old DS. We've been out the house for walks/coffee/food shopping, but I'm getting seriously anxious about having to feed him in public. At the moment I feel like I'm on a timer from one feed to the next when we are out and about. It's really making me not want to leave the house.

He's a pretty windy baby, and really doesn't enjoy being fed. He cries until every last bubble of air is up. I'm finding it pretty tough because I feel its my fault. We've tried gripe water, infacol and the Dr Browns bottles but he still looks so uncomfortable.

I feel incredibly stupid for feeling this way, especially when BFs are getting their boobs out in public and I'm fretting about giving him a bottle.

Has anyone else felt like this? Or could offer any advice? I could only find threads about BF in public.

My DS1 was like yours. I tried and didn't manage to breast feed then had a nightmare with bottle feeding, have you tried C & G comfort milk along with DR Brown bottles, it made a huge difference to DS. Needed to order special number 4 teats when he got bigger though as milk is thicker. also winding him over my knee facedown helped alot too.

DS2 has taken to breastfeeding so now worrying about feeding out and about.

Hope some of the above helps.....its hard isn't it. Also worth mentioning that i had PND with DS1 and i do think some of my worrying was related to this, Not suggesting you have it but keep an eye on your anxiety levels.

I second the comfort milks too. Big difference to DD. I too couldn't get BF established but don't do what I did. My anxiety at not BFing I projected onto others. Apart from one inhuman HV no one criticised me at all. Good luck and just enjoy your little one (especially the non windy moments).

second the not projecting feelings about not breast feeding onto others, was really upset at my best friend over something she said, which was an attempt to support me

I don't think it's stupid at all. It's pretty common for every mum to feel embarrassed if baby is not behaving like a perfect angel 24/7, but realistically, everyone understands. Breastfed babies cry and have wind as well, even in public. I've witnessed a 5 week old let out a giant, yucky fart at baby group during a presentation, and everyone just laughed hysterically. Laugh it off and try different positions burping him. Also, laying him on your lap and moving his legs like a bicycle sometimes helps relieve the wind (although it's a bit smelly for you!). If you're still worried, talk to a health visitor or GP.

I was like that with my first dc- I couldn't fathom how other peoples babies seemed so happy and content while mine was really grumpy!! As I learned to relax, the baby did too. His first 3 months were so stressful: wind, colic, not a clue what I was doing... We've all been there. Go easy on yourself, the wind will either come up or go down , and in a few short weeks you'll enjoy your baby! I wud encourage you to try different milk, as this really can help too! Maybe some time out for you too??

Please don't think how you are feeling is stupid. It's how you feel so it's perfectly valid. I think as mums we feel very vulnerable at this time because everyone thinks they can comment. I bf and a well meaning friend asked if it wouldn't be easier to give my DD a bottle in public. Whatever you do someone will think you're wrong so do what you do and try and ignore people. Sounds like you're doing well to me x

Thanks for all your messages.

Alot of how I've been feeling is guilt over not being able to breasfeed. But I'm going to give myself a kick up the bum, get over it, and START ENJOYING MY BABY.

When the DH came home from work last night he cooked tea, took the baby off me and practically ordered me to go and have a long bath. I even managed to finish a book. That must have helped!

i tortured myself about not being able to breastfeed ds1 to the point of making myself ill. i regret the months worrying about that more than not being able to breastfeed. glad you have supportive dh and you right, enjoy your time, blink and you will miss it.

zosie sorry you've had such a bad time :( Have you tried calling the BFing lines about the BFing not working out? They may well be able to help you to work through how you feel. You don't need to give yourself the kick on your own, if that makes sense.

Regarding being on a timer from one feed to the next - this is quite normal with a baby no matter how he's fed. It's really hard to know how to plan things (even when you're totally comfy about BFing in public as you need to know where there's a seat) so it's the same really no matter what you're doing. So I don't think that it's so much a feeding in public situation, as just a dealing with being out with a baby :) And, you know, babies cry. People either don't care or they don't matter. I'm sorry that he sounds like he's struggling with his wind. That can be really heartbreaking. It will get better though and you've got some suggestions here that might help.

It does get easier though. You tend to get to know their patterns, and they tend to fall into - not necessarily a routine but at least some kind of semblence of similarity across the day.

Do you have strategies worked out about how you're carrying enough formula with you, how you're going to deal with safely making up formula/using cartons etc? Knowing what you're doing with all this and being prepared can make the whole thing a bit more relaxing.

Sounds like you have a lovely, understanding DH :)