BF Dilemma

[ng1412]

Hi all, I haven't read any other threads on this but have put this message in the Conception topic as well so apologies for double posting.

Anyway, we have a 6 month old, and we want to try for another baby. I am nearly 42 yrs old and have been told by my gyne that I need to stop BF in order to increase chances of conceiving. I am really confused as I don't want to stop BF my little girl but I really want to start thinking about having another child.

So, anyone with experience of this and can give any advice? I am really confused about what to do for the best as I have always thought that I wanted to BF for at least a year but my gyne's advice has turned this on its head...

Have your periods returned? Do you know if you are ovulating?

I conceived DD2 whilst still breastfeeding (although DD1 was much older), but I know others who have given up in order to do so.

Have your periods returned? If not then unlikely (not impossible) that you're ovulating. However with the introduction of solids and (hopefully) fewer night feeds with a 5 hour+ gap then you could start ovulating if not already.

I bf DS until 2 (well has the odd feed still), periods came back when he was 11 months and suddenly dropped night feeds. Got pregnant quickly afterwards although miscarried and got pregnant againwhen he was 15 months and still feeding a lot!

Thanks Secondtimelucky and Iggly, sorry should have said that my periods have not returned and I have no idea if I am ovulating...I wish I did.

I am encouraged by your comments. What I don't want to do is either stop BF and regret it (as of course I can't resume it again) or not stop and then regret not giving my body the chance to ovulate again before I get too old.

I wish I had done this 10 years ago....!

It's difficult because, as you know, unfortunately at 42 time is not on your side. But in your position I might give it another 2-3 months to see if adding solids and possible drop in night feeds leads to your periods returning. I can totally see that it would be an impossible decision to make, as you want to increase the chances of having a second but also want to do the best you can for the child you have.

Thanks Secondtime, that makes perfect sense, how do I manage to reduce night feeds - is that in combination with the weaning (which we are planning to start this week btw) My little girl is quite obsessed with feeds every 3 or so hours still!!

Yup. Basically, as they up their solids, they are fuller at night and (hopefully) start dropping night feeds of their own accord (although, sadly, it's no guarantee they will sleep. I'm looking at you, DD1).

If you wanted suggestions on encouraging that process, you could start a specific thread?

Or maybe think about using formula overnight if the night feeds haven't eased off in a few months? Anecdotally, it's dropping the night feeds that often causes periods to return (did for me certainly), so it might also be worth asking/researching specifically on that. It might be a halfway option.

[disclaimer- am not a breastfeeding expert!]

I fed my first until, well still sorta feeding her at three occasionally, tendering with a two month old. Had to drop the demand feeds at night and feeding to sleep at just before two years to get a period. Got pregnant 2 months after. I'm 40. And had ashermans so was unsure I'd conceive.

Thanks all, I will have to do some research about how to drop the night feeds and the effect it has on you, I am thinking specifically about how to prevent engorgement etc. Plus I don't know how quickly my periods are likely to return once I do manage to reduce bf...

Clearly I don't have a clue!

It isn't you- it's a very variable thing and you don't really know until you try IYSWIM. Some women need to stop all feeds for periods to return, others overnight, others can feed, feed and still ovulate. Sadly, there is no automatic answer.

If your daughter drops night feeds at her own pace, over time, you shouldn't have too many problems with engorgement, as your body will have time to adjust and your supply is pretty established.

FWIW, my periods retuned pretty much a month after we'd stopped night feeds.

Oh,and good luck TTC.

Thanks Secondtime, me and DH will keep trying and hope for the best!