If I was to stop BFing my 7 month old . . .

[SarahScot]

. . . how long would it take for her to 'forget' about BFing?

I didn't plan to stop feeing her so soon, but now I'm back at work she's feeding every hour to two hours through the night (been going on for 10 weeks with no sign of improvement). She's also starting biting and OH MY GOD does it hurt. She won't take a bottle from me at all, just fights me, screams and headbutts my chest. She'll take 1 or 2 oz from my mum or DH. I thought that, maybe, if I stopped BFing she'd forget about it and start taking bottles.

A good theory or a load of rubbish? Any experience of similar?

She really is feeding a lot you poor thing! Is she on solids? Sounds like giving it up might be the best thing for your sanity and nipples! Her milk intake should be going down soon as she takes more solids and water. Is there any chance she's feeding that much as a "clingy" reaction to you going back to work? Good luck.

Yes she would forget about it at some point, but how long it would take to get to 'some point' is anybody's guess - all 7 month olds have such different personalities. It's also impossible to know whether or not she would take a bottle from you - she might or might not. In the meantime it sounds like you would have one unhappy baby on your hands! BF isn't just about food, it's a huge source of comfort for babies too so not really surprising that she's loath to be parted from the boob.

The biting is horrible but fixable - lots of tips on here from people who have got through that in one piece And sleep too of course.

I'm guessing that going back to work has been a bit rough on both of you?

It sounds like she is reverse cycling (feeding at night from you instead of during the day when she has to have a bottle from someone else).

You could try an open cup like a doidy or a simple non valved beaker with a spout to see if she will take more that way. Or offering her wet foods such as fruit/veg (purees or chunks), porridge/weetbix made slightly too sloppy, yogurt/fromage frais, mashed potatoes made with extra milk - that sort of things. Does she drink water at all or is she refusing anything in a bottle?

The trouble is even if you completely finish bfing she may still want to be up at night because she misses you during the day. Have you considered co-sleeping for a little while to minimise the disturbance of her night wakings?

Everyone has such different advice and experiences, just don't forget to listen to your inner voice.
I have 3 DC and BF and worked with all 3.
Here's what worked for me.
When I felt totally confident and sure without doubt they were taking in enough solids (and milk) throughout the day I stopped BF at night.
At night I would do a dream feed at the point I was going to bed, then if they woke later I would offer DC cool water from a bottle/beaker. Yes they would go mental after the first sip and head butt, tear at me etc.
If they refused a drink I'd say time to sleep and put them in their cot (yes, still screaming).
After 1 minute I'd return, straighten the covers, smooth their faces and say time to sleep, and leave.
After 3 minutes I'd return, straighten the covers, smooth their faces and say time to sleep, and leave.
After 5 minutes I'd return, straighten the covers, smooth their faces but no more talking, then leave.
The intervals of my return would increase by 5 minutes.
It aches your heart and your breasts and if DH is not supportive it aches your conscience too.
You have to be strong and determind if this is the route you take.
You must be consistent, repeat every waking and don't hang around in their room.
Now as geekish as this sounds keep a pen and paper by your bed and record the wakings and how long it takes them to go back to sleep on their own. I tell you why, when you're sat in the dark listening to your baby cry for you it feels like forever but when you write it down you'll see the times actually shorten over a period of nights.
Remember she may be teething (hence the biting) so ensure Calpol/teething powder on hand if she needs it.
Start on a Friday night, hopefully you'll be over the worst by Sunday night as you'll have work in the morning.
Every child/parent is different mine took an average of 3 nights to sleep through using this method.
As I said, I never stopped BF throughout the day/evenings/weekends but never through the night when I felt happy of their daily calorific intake.
The first feed of the day is a tricky one 5.30am was my personal yard stick. Any wakening before 5.30am and I wouldn't BF them.
DC are now 8, 6 & 3 and everyone a good sleeper.
Good luck.

Thanks for the replies.

She's been on solids for 9 weeks so eats quite a lot. She's still not good at drinking out of any kind of cup so at the moment I couldn't get a significant amount of fluid in to her.

She's got two razor-sharp bottom teeth already and I think the top ones might be bothering her now. Am dreading the biting when they do.

We already co-sleep. She has one of those side-car cots but can now roll out of it until she's beside me!

I'm pretty sure she's not actually hungry that often through the night, it's more just a comfort thing. Somehow we've reached the point where she rarely falls asleep without being fed to sleep! She used to be so good at going to sleep on her own in her bed! Aaargh!

Treadmillmom I like the sound of your method - 3 nights seems do-able. Would have to ship DS off somewhere else, he's only 4 and would be very upset to hear her screaming all through the night. DH is very supportive in theory, but when it actually comes to it he's useless through the night., just grunts at me, rolls over and goes back to sleep!

Sarah - I hate to say but the controlled crying technique above might take more than 3 nights.

We did it with DD1 for SEVEN MONTHS (I had PND and felt I couldn't go against what the HV said even though I felt ill listening to her crying for hours on end).

That's with us going up at 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10, etc minute intervals until she went to sleep. It took hours for her to get to sleep each night. Then she would wake up many times as well (she had 4 night feeds at 12m [that's feeds between 11pm & 6am]).

Eventually we decided it was never going to work and stopped it. She is still a rubbish sleeper at 5 and uses any excuse to come down.

Her sisters have never had CC done to them and they sleep fine.....

In fact my just turned 2y/o has just gone into a bed the night before I got carted off to hospital by ambulance (prime fodder for kicking off at night is mummy being in hospital) and she's only got out once and that was when the kitten climbed into bed with her after DH accidentally shut the kitten in their bedroom. DD1 had us doing 'rapid return' for weeks on end as she couldn't settle in a bed without us for ages.

TruthSweet 7 months! Poor you, and what a shit HV for telling you to carry on and not recognising your PND.

DD is in her own cot in her own room tonight and has only been up for one feed since she was out to bed . . . 2 and a half hours ago!

Oh they knew I had very bad PND (actually PND-OCD to make matters worse!) as I was under the MH crisis team and went to a HV run PND group.

I'm going to second the sleep advice from Treadmillmom. I did it with my DD at six months and it took two nights to work. Now we're both much happier because we're not knackered!

The only bit I might add would be to satisfy yourselves that the baby is okay before you back out, check the nappy and that there's no tag on the PJs digging in, you know the kind of thing. It helped me reassure myself that I was doing my best.

Oh and if you drink a G&T every time you back out of the room, it makes the crying more bearable. Really it does.

I think this can be a pretty normal reaction to a change in their lives. When I moved DS into a bed in his own room his sleep was terrible for the first few weeks - I forget how long - but I really was getting to the end of my tether with it, I was tearful, I felt I couldn't cope, I was on the verge of bringing him back to my bed because I decided he wasn't ready, and then, suddenly, he started going from 7 until 11 and then 11 until about 6am (when he'd come in with me for an hour).

I think if there had been any kind of upset like teething happening at the same time the disruption was likely to have gone on even longer. I almost don't want to say this because I know it's going to sound horrible, but I really think this would be the worst possible time to attempt some kind of sleep training.

I don't for a second think that what you're going through is easy and I am sure you must be desperate to consider giving up BF if you wanted to continue for longer, so I've tried to come up with some other solutions as I didn't want to leave a completely unhelpful post! But not tried these so have no idea whether they would help or not (although even if I had I suppose it's no guarantee with another baby).

So was going to say try moving her to her own room, or a cot in your room - but this may make nights more disturbed for you as you have to get up every time she wakes. However, you have the option of sending DH in if you can get him to wake up! I think you really need to get him on board and try to tell him how tired you are. I think it's very common that breastfed babies don't want to take a bottle from mum, so if you want to try this as a solution, you are going to need his help.

Have you tried anything from the no cry sleep solution at all? A friend has just found the Pantley Pull Off a complete revelation for her 10 month old who still has a dodgy latch and likes to feed every 1-3 hours at night leaving her with no sleep at all. I think it worked for DS at 8 or 9 months too.

Try calpol, teething gel, teething powders and even amber teething necklace/anklet - just throw anything you can at the teething in case that's contributing to the problem.

With biting you can learn to spot the signs just before they do it and take them off pre-emptively. This does mean you can't doze while sleeping but it doesn't take them long to break the biting habit.

Weird last ditch attempt, but try changing the bedtime routine? It might just work to change the behaviour/feeding pattern she's got stuck in. There are actually some suggestions in NCSS about routines and how they can be conducive or unhelpful to sleep patterns.

Will she take a dummy at all? DS used to like chewing one, he didn't really suck it. Think it was a teething thing.

Thank you BertieBotts for your long and thoughtful answer. I'm really not sure what my next move will be, but what you said about changing her bedtime routine struck a chord so I'll look into doing that and read about the NCSS. She doesn't like dummies, I've tried and tried - thought if she'd take it it might soothe her bak to sleep.