Self weaning question

[Yesmynameis]

DD is just turning 1 yo and is bf. I find I have spent quite some time lately thinking about how long I should carry on bf.

She doesn't 'demand' to be bf as such. She only has 2 bf p/day at the moment, one in the morning and one in the evening. The evening one is initiated entirely by me and she would happily drop it tomorrow without a backwards glance.

My question is, how does child led weaning work if the child doesn't really demand to be bf? Should I leave it up to her and just led her drop the pm feed immediately? Is one bf enough, would she not be self weaning incredibly early? I am led to believe by Kellymom that self weaning before 18 months is almost unheard of...

I feel that at this age I should switch to a more child led approach with our bf (rather than me initiating) after all she is 1. I worry that if I continue to offer feeds when she's not demanding them that I might be doing so for my own benefit when she's not really that bothered.

I find myself a bit unsure of how to go forwards, and I would really appreciate any input from others who've been there. Even if it's just to tell me to stop agonising just because pfb is turning 1

If you drop one of the breastfeeds now I think you'd have to replace it with cow's milk - so it's up to you if you want her to have breastmilk or cow's milk.

"Don't offer, don't refuse" (only feeding if the child initiates it) is a weaning technique.

You've read kellymom already so I woun't point you in that direction. Yes natural term child led weaning rarley happen's before 18months but I think you'll find that they way we wean onto solids in the west often encourages baby's to wean earlier then this without us realiseing it. There is a book that I'm sure some else will come along and tell you about as I can't remeber then name at the moment.

DD was still mainly having milk at 12months and DS although eats more still have at lest 4-5 feeds a day. I think they are all different though you can't make them feed and there is no need to worry that you are forcing her.

They do tend to get distracted easily at this age and I found DD went though phases of wanting more milk and then less milk depenting on what other things she was doing developmentaly.

Hi Rita. I should have added she won't drink cows milk.

Although 2 HVs assure me that she has no need of any milk as a drink at all (bm or cow), so long as she's eating cheese, yoghurt etc and an otherwise healthy diet. Is this advice you would follow in my shoes, or would you still feel that at this age she needs a drink of milk of one description or another?

I see what you mean that not offering bm is in itself gentle weaning. But I do see it as child led weaning rather than mother led. My concern is that it would be so early based on what I've read.

Thanks McGril, we did do BLW but I agree there is an obsession to encourage 3 meals a day pretty quickly. She now has 3 meals p/day plus one snack, so there's plenty of food being consumed :)

I guess I need to examine why I have felt full of confidence with my bf up to day 365 but after that seem so unsure with how to take it forward (or not as the case may be). I guess I might find the answer if I start to remember that the dc has no idea she has reached the magic age of 1

This sounds very much like my DD1, including the not drinking milk. FWIW I kept offering up until about 18 months, when she actually stopped taking the feed even if I initiated it. She then just had a morning feed up to about 21 months (when I was pregnant with DD2).

I never stressed too much about drinking cows milk.

I find ds now feeds a lot more at 15 months than he did at a year - dreaded back teeth starting to come, plus he learnt how to ask for it.

Secondtimelucky, I have had a couple of occasions lately when she's refused the evening feed, or else taken very little.

I feel I should probably just follow her lead, this approach has usually worked for us in general in the past.

It's useful to know that your DD kept up the morning feed for quite a long while after she dropped the pm one, thankyou.

Oh yes, I think she'd have kept going on that one too. Unfortunately I was four months pregnant and my milk dried up. But equally I think I could have dropped that feed reasonably easily whenever I wanted to - if I wasn't there for some reason she was equally happy with a banana.

yy to just following their lead. I am a big fan of 'path of least resistance' parenting.

my older 2 stopped around 12months because i was pregnant but i still gave them formula for a bedtime drink, if i was still bf i would have still tried to get a proper feed in at least once a day. i wanted to make sure they still had a good source of all the vitamins and minerals they needed when they went through fussy eating stages.

Thankyou so much to everyone for all your imput, it really is appreciated. I'm popping out now to buy cake tin for a certain birthday cake, but I will check back later - thanks again

My DS didn't start asking for feeds till he was 15 months. I just kept offering as often as I originally did (5-7 times a day and whenever he fed at night).

Once he started asking, he fed roughly as often. Now at 22 m.o. he feeds with pretty much the same frequency, although it had reduced a bit till he started cutting his molars.