Help - is this normal, and when will it stop?

[kayjayel]

Hi, I'm hoping to get some breastfeeding advice. Despite it being DC3, and I managed to bf both the other two, I'm worried I'm not going to manage it again.

He is only 3 days old, so we've only had 2 nights so far, but basically as soon as it is 'night' time he just starts fussing for feeds and rooting, and sucking, and this goes on continually all night. He sucks well, and it obviously is doing him good, as he had 3 dirty nappies last night, and has a windy tummy. But he is on for most of the night, and nothing else will settle him. I've walked him, jiggled him, cuddled him, swaddled him, left him in the cot for 5 mins, nothing will settle him except sucking. Which wouldn't be the end of the world if it wasn't a crap latch and my nipples are in agony. To the extent I actually screamed in pain when he fed at 7 this morning. So I need a bit of time in between feeds for them to recover a bit.

And I need some sleep. I managed about 20 minutes between 12 and 6 last night, and it feels dangerous to be so tired. At the moment there is lots of help, and I can 'catch up' in the day a bit with help, but in 2 weeks time I'll have 3 kids on my own to look after.

I am worried that he is sucking for comfort, as his tiny body is just adjusting to life outside the womb, and he's getting rid of all the meconium and learning to process milk, but then he's overloaded in the night with milk, and uncomfortable.

I'll try to call some bfing advisors, but my past experiences of that is having someone come and repeatedly trying different latches meant I was almost hysterical with pain, and I'm scared they'll just hurt more, whereas I am just about coping with the pain in the hope that it will reduce in the next week.

I was prepared for a baby that might need to co-sleep, or constant cuddles (as DS was like this, and fed frequently), but I don't think I can cope if this goes on much longer, but I'll be devastated to give up bfing. Has anyone had a baby like this where it was just a newborn phase? It would help to know that he may give me at least an hour between feeds at some point.

I think you've answered your own question here Kayjayel- he is only 3 days old and like you say he is adjusting to life outside of the womb. He needs you to be near as you are the only thing that he knows at the moment.

It's hard I know to be this tired but co-sleeping will help this and you needn't be worried about him sucking for comfort - it's a good thing.

Frequent sucking will help bring in your milk (if it's not there already) and ensure that you have a plentiful milk supply for the future months.

What you do obviously need to sort out is the painful latch though. Have a look at the biological nurturing website and see if this laid back way of breastfeeding can be of any help to you.

I'd also recommend getting someone just to double check the latch in real life- maybe at a support group if you can get to one, or ask your mw.

You seem to be worried about getting conflicting advice but it could be that the latch needs a tiny adjustment to make it more comfortable.

In short, it all sounds normal behaviour for a 3 day old, try and go with it for now and get help and rest as much as you can. It won't last forever.

Forgot to say congrats!

Here's think for BN

Here's the link that should say!

Hi,

thanks for replying. I know its very early days. I had heard of the BN, I'll have a proper look at it now.

The frequency is fine, I was prepared for that, its the pain I need to manage. Either by knowing I can get through it, or by having some help. Both nipples have kind of blood blisters now, which I had with my other two, I just can't remember how long it took for this to get better. A bf advisor is coming out tomorrow to check the latch and I'll try to get through on one of the helplines. It would be so lovely if I could reduce the pain sooner rather than later. I would love it if a tiny change could do that. I've managed feeds today okay, but he's gone 3-4 hrs between them, and I'm a bit more anxious about the constant feeding throughout the night as I think I'll take more of a battering then.

Is it normal to find it this hard? He (and my others) never opens wide for the nipple, thrashes his head around, gets his hands in the way (I have to keep them down or he grabs either his mouth or nipple), then gets incredibly distressed and cries so he can't suck and I have to calm him down to try again. I think a bigger mouth may be the answer.

Thanks again for replying and I'll check out the link to see if that can help.

This is a short term solution, and only if you're happy to do this, but with dd1 who was very similar I ended up taking quite frequent low doses of paracetemol, timed as far as I could for just before a feed- it took the edge off the pain and let me feed her, keep supply up etc while the latch got sorted. Also walked around with boobs hanging out, coated in lanisoh! Good luck, it does get better.

without sounding like a patronising idiot, (and can I just say I have my 2 day old BFeeding DD home now and it is the SAME)- but I have been reading some advice, and you need to try and get your DS on the breast before he cries and gets all frantic. Look for other signs-
rooting
head wagging side to side
hands/fingers in mouth
tongue thrusting
ferreting about

Crying is apparently one of the LAST signs of hunger.

IHTH a bit, I feel you though, DD fed constantly all night, frantically both breasts one after the other, pooped and farted. It was hectic.

I fed my DS for 2 years and it seemed like a breeze compared to this!

Hope your breasts start to heal quickly. Have you tried Lansinoh?

Painkillers to take the edge off are the only way IME.

Both mine were like this, fighty, hands in the way, full of rage, bad latch.

2 weeks, with the low point coming at about day 6/7.

You can do it.

Thanks so much! On max paracetemol, I'll try to feed him at first sign, and just keep going. I know it was worse with dc1 and I got through that. It helps to know others get through this, ill just prioritise feeding and rest. Thanks for the encouragement, its what I need to hear. Think we on for next feed, he managed to go 20 mins since last one!

My baby (first) is exactly the same at night with the constant feeding. He was ok the first week but during the second week he started non stop feeding anytime between 8pm and 10pm through to 2am but there have also been about 4 nights where he feeds through til 4 or 5am! I'm just so knackered and I know this can be normal behaviour but its the not knowing when it'll stop?

my 5 week old was like that,

she fed ALL night for 5 nights, i has NO night time sleep what so ever

then on night 6 she just woke twice, and by night 9 was only waking once

keep going, your baby might copy mine.... she now (at 6 weeks tomo) has a 11ish dream feed then wakes at 4 / 5 am then sleeps until 8am ish

Thanks, comforting to know I'm not the only one. Who would havmd thought breast feeding could be so complicated! :)
Up to night 9 now, kind of getting used to it

oh nannyl i love the sound of that! Last night better, he went 2 hrs between feeds, and while he needed cuddles and attention in between, it felt better than the constant feeds. I got 1 whole hour of proper sleep next to him. But pain etc still bad, so I'm going to try to sort that a bit.

MrsMQueen, its amazing you're still going at 9 days, i hope it gets easier for you soon.

mrsmcqueen You are a STAR, my goodness, are you co-sleeping? When it is like that it seems like the only way to get some sleep!

kayjayel sounds like you are getting there bit by bit. I rub lansinoh on after every feed, regardless, it sort of feels like a bit of a barrier.

nannyl you are in SMUG CLUB you lucky thing! Oh how I dream of having a good sleeper this time around!

kayjayel - I don't know how I'm still going either, the days are a bit of a blur! Not sure if you've tried nipple shields? My nipples got really sore so I used them. It still hurts a bit but it gives them a better chance to heal.

GHAHSTLYGHOULYpants - nights when he feeds til 2am then sleeps til 4 I usually stay awake and sleep when he does. Nights when he feeds constantly til 4 or 5am there is at the most a 20 minute gap between feeds so I just spend the night on the sofa dozing.

Having said all that tonight I thought it was going to be another all nighter but its completely different! He fed from 4pm til 11.30pm then slept til 2. Still feeding at the moment (3am) so I have no idea what the rest of the night will be like!

Hi mrsmcqueen- I'm also up, using mumsnet to keep awake! After last night being more settled he is back to constant feeding, from 11 so far, with a few nappy and cuddle breaks. As soon as I put him down he wakes and frantically roots, so we're cuddling to give nipples a break. But its hard to stay awake now!

I actually did try nipple shields today for the first time, and it seemed to be the answer but he then started rejecting the feed, and my milk didn't flow, and I think it meant he got very windy and unsatisfied with the feed, I'm hoping that explains his constant feeding. He looked so confused the first time! But I have managed to improve the latch after watching a video that I think crikeybadger linked to on another thread (thanks!) so he is opening wider, but I'm not sure how long nips will take to recover. I was gutted as the shields were great for me but they don't seem to suit him.

Good luck with the rest of your night, hope he settles soon.

Hi I'm another one experiencing the same. DS is eleven days old and after being great for first few days since Saturday has been cluster feeding all night every night and refusing to settle anywhere but on me or DP. We ended up cosleeping just to catch an hour of sleep, but I'm now working on settling him in his Moses basket to sleep between feeds as per some help from the mw, it seems to be working as have had three 1-11/2 hr stints where he's in basket. It's taken time and patience over last week but I'm hoping it's the start of better nights...
Congratulations on your LO and remember that it will pass.
Oh I also smother on lansinoh after each feed religiously and it helps x

Can you get homeopathic remedies where you are? Phytolacca saved my life. 30C strength, 1 under the tongue every hour until nipples start to heal/stop hurting. It's THE remedy for BF problems. Mastitis, cracked nipples etc.
(Apologies to anyone who thinks homeopathy is a pile of crap.)