Feeding routines through the day

[Glimmerberry]

Posting again about BF routines after getting some helpful tips for night (thanks to those who helped).

I'm exclusively BFing my 7 week old son. TBH I don't really know what I'm doing, he's my first child and noone in my family has ever BF. He was a good weight at birth but rapidly lost just over 10% of his birth weight, but as he was generally healthy and hydrated with lots of pee and poo (never any green poo) our MW and HV supported us in continuing to EBF. But he did drop centiles, and took until around 5 weeks to return to birth weight. Because of this I just fed on demand wanting to make sure i got enough stimulation to meet his needs and wanting to get as much into him as possible.

For the first few weeks this meant i barely slept but things are now really good at night. A few tips from here has us sleeping through the night most nights or only waking once, usually after 5 hours sleep. He knows night from day and has a quick feed before going back to sleep. I feel like I shouldnt really complain, but...

In the daytime we can't really seem to stop feeding on demand. I literally sit in a chair all day, BF pillow on my lap, my son on top, feeding on and off all day. Even when "quiet alert" thats where he wants to be. If i try to put him down, he is either very distressed or sleeps for 10mins before rooting again. It doesn't seem worth it to try and move as breaks between feeding are so short. I can just about go for a pee or get myself a drink. I need to find a way to establish some sort of routine that allows me the odd half hour to shower, cook, pop out and post a letter. Neither my DH or I have any idea how anyone leaves the house at this stage. We live 30mins from any civilisation and i know we couldn't do a 30min journey without stopping to feed, or enduring the tears.

The HV suggests he is using my breast for comfort. I'm not sure about that -while he's on my breast a lot he does seem to be feeding properly and latching on vigorously. But then she might have a point, we get 6ish poo-ey nappies per day and she says this means he's getting more than enough?

I'm wondering whether he is hungry due to a lack of fatty hindmilk. I am expressing a small amount each day to build up a freezer stock, usually just 2oz each morning while i feed on the other breast, and it's quite often very translucent from start to finish (more often than not in fact). But then how hungry can he be is he is sleeping thru? He also gets a lot of wind which i think i'd read here can be associated with excess foremilk...

Sorry for the long post, as I said I'm new to all this and just hoping for some tips to get a bit closer to a feeding regime that fills him up and gives me a tiny bit of freedom from the couch.

Hi Glimmer, and congratulations, you sound like you're doing an amazing job against the odds if your family haven't BF.

Babies need a certain amount of milk in 24 hours, so if they're not getting it during the night, they need it during the day. While ideally he would be feeding more at night (but if he's growing ok now it's fine) he needs to get that milk in during the day as he's not night feeding so much.

There's nothing wrong with suckling for comfort. He's only teeny tiny - just 7 weeks on this side - and needs to know that you are still there and you are doing just what he needs. You're building up your milk supply, getting milk into him and teaching him that you are a loving and responsive mother that he can trust to be there for him (and this is what leads to a confident, independent child). Espressing will not affect how much hindmilk he gets (in fact you're taking off the foremilk so if he then feeds off the expressed breast he's getting straight into the hindmilk). Plus foremilk/hindmilk can be confusing and is very rarely something to really worry about as your body works it all out. Human milk is often translucent - all fine. Wind is normal. Is his poo yellow/mustard colour? How often is he pooing each day?

At 7 weeks many mums can't see how they can get out of the house. That's quite normal. Some mums can get out on day 2 - everyone's different - but it's totally normal to be where you are.

You sound like you're confident with the feeding, and confident in what you are doing, but just need some ideas of how to cope with a baby who needs to be really close to you. Do you have a sling? It's a lifesaver for mums with high needs babies. A well fitting pouch sling, or a well adjusted ring sling (you will need to get someone to fit it for you really - see if there's a sling meet near you, or maybe someone from your local NCT who knows about slings and would be willing to come to your house), can be easy to feed in and you can do pretty much anything in them. Probably best not to cook - but you can at least make yourself some toast!

Finally, at 7 weeks you're just coming out of the 6 week growth spurt. He'll probably settle down a bit in the next few weeks anyway. Hang on in there :)

Sorry, you said about 6 pooey nappies a day - good - and don't be surprised or concerned if this suddenly drops to one nappy every few days in the next few weeks (or it may not!).

My son is nine weeks and tends to feed a huge amount in the mornings, then late evening, with shorter snacks during the day. He's always gone at least four hours in the night, and at the age of nine weeks, is regularly doing six-hour stretches. I guess we should count our blessings, right?

If you haven't got a sling, please get one. I love the Boba carrier, as it seems more suited to a woman's build. I often pop my son in the carrier after a long feed, knowing he will sleep for an hour, which allows me to take my dogs for a good walk or run an errand. When we get back, he feeds immediately. Some dexterous souls b'feed while baby is in the sling. We have not yet mastered that art, though we haven't had to, given that he is so content to slumber while being carried around.

For showers, I utilise a swing (the very snazzy Mamaroo). My son will be content in there for 15-20 minutes, and I bring it to the bathroom.

Oh thanks organic carrot cake, your reassurance is very kind. A sling is probably the way to go. Most of the time I just really enjoy the fact that he is happiest snuggled up to me, but I do feel a bit uncomfortable with how little I seem to get done otherwise only having experience of my sister FFing 4 hourly and getting her housework done! I'll try to put that guilt aside!

That's interesting stopgap, we probably have our most intensive feeding periods morning and evening too. I'll have a look at that sling and swing. I do have a rocker but not having much luck in putting him in it and keeping him undistressed for more than 5-10mins, while he'll nap on me for 30-60mins.

Aww, FF doesn't mean that babies go 4 hourly between feeds. I certainly don't . My DS1 went 3 hourly between feeds and was sleepign through by 3 months (7-7). Exclusively breastfed. DS2 hasn't slept more than 5 hours at a time yet and he's 15 months!!

Your baby sounds perfect - and totally normal. If you want advice on slings there's a forum here, but help in person is absolutely invaluable - probably essential.

DS2 was very much like yours during the day, but didn't/doesn't sleep at night - still within normal but seriously knackering!

A sling was the only way I could stay sane. I BF him in it everywhere (I have a photo of me hoeing the garden while BFing him in the sling).

BF in a sling sounds like a skill worth learning!

Hi Glimmer your experience of BFing sounds like mine did at the start... I felt like my DD was permanently attached to me and I got nothing done either. After awhile she seemed to get herself into her own routine and didnt need to be attached all the time, I cant remember when this happened as the first few months have now blurred together in my memory.

She is now 10months, sleeps through from 6.30-7 and has 3 BFs during the day as well as her solids. I still do a 10pm dream feed but im going to stop that soon as i dont think she really needs it anymore. Im sure you are doing a great job and dont worry before you know it you will find yourself being able to do more things during the day. Make the most of not getting housework done and enjoy all those lovely cuddles.

Hi glimmer- well done for keeping ebf:)
I have no tips but wanted to ask for a link to your thread about nightime . Am bf my 4 wk old DD and spending 3-4 hrs simply settling her for the night:,feeding/winding/cuddles etc. And settling her after a feed is taking ages too :/( I'm a zombie!

Hi lucky you on the night time sleeping

Have you tried going out in the day? Just put him in the car seat and go, you can always stop but the car seat plus the movement will no doubt mean he sleeps through it.

My ds is 7 weeks and I have found that he much prefers sleeping on his side/front. So I do this for daytime as long as I know I will be around him ie lunch , folding washing etc.

Glimmer are you happy to feed in public? If so, it might be worth getting a changing bag packed and just heading out - not for anything specific but maybe just a walk around a park or something like that where there are plenty of places to stop and feed where required. Prob best not to try to achieve anything like a supermarket shop or a cafe meal as it can be a bit stressful if it goes wrong just for the first time out, but in no time at all you'll be whizzing around the aisles . I would get to the supermarket and go for a coffee and a cake in the cafe (what an excuse!) and fill his belly, then I'd start my shopping from the wrong end (ie the end furthest away from the cafe), so that it's easier to get back to the cafe if he needed feeding again while I was going round. When I got the knack I just carried him in the sling and fed him while shopping which was ok until I got the the checkouts and he had to go back into the trolley seat. One time, though, an assistant saw me struggling to get things out of the trolley and she ran over to help so I could just stand there and feed :)

If you're not comfy feeding in public, we can talk you through ways to build your confidence (and you will hopefully know that you're protected by law anyway).

But thing about it one step at a time and go from there :) Don't rush it - it WILL happen and within a few weeks you'll be wondering what all the fuss was about :) Although he may still be a constant feeder for a while, you'll find ways to manage it.

Enjoy it if you possibly can! My oldest is 7 and is more interested in his friends than his mummy although he's still a very loving, cuddly little boy. And bugger the house work. Really.

And I've no excuse for my bad typing as I'm on my laptop, not a phone - other than my toddler who keeps trying to "help".

I can't remember how I got through the early days either. My DD wanted to be held all day and wouldnt go into her carrycot at all. I have a baby bjorn and love it. We would go to the mall and she can sleep in it for an hour. I like the mall because than I can get a coffee while I feed her . I don't like doing it on park benches. Also my local mall has john lewis which has a fantastic changing area. A lot of shops have bf area too. I've seen them in JL, mothercare and ikea.

But if you find going out stresses you, don't worry. This phase is very short. She might not feed less frequently given his long sleep at night, but he will be a lot faster. Mine does it in 3-5 min now at 7mo and have been like this for months.

Hi glimmer you were on the antenatal Sept group? Lived on island? Glad babe arrived safely and sounds like you doing Brill with BF. Do get a sling or carrier it really does help you escape the house and the first 3mths are huge adjustment period for all of you but feeds and life do slowly get easier.
If you want to come chat more with all us Sept due lot we are on new thred september edd babies come share ups and downs here in post natal clubs

ssmile yes, that's me, island in the north sea! I'll come find that thread, thanks!

I think i'm going to set a target each week and just get myself (and him) off the sofa gradually. First getting around the house with him in a sling, then out in the car for short trips, then longer once I find somewhere I will feel comfortable BFing in public. I think I might struggle with that but will have to bite the bullet sometime.

crazyalien let me go find the thread...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/1318694-Back-to-sleep-after-night-feeds-any-tips?msgid=28133430#28133430