stopping EBF - how long will the pleading continue?

[SAHMlikeitHOT]

Well, I've managed dc2 for 2 and a half years - which is 4 years continuously (2 years with dc1), and now I'd really like to sleep through until 6.30 am again. So I want to drop the early morning feed, (which sometimes starts at 2 am! but mostly at about 5am) and as the just-before-bed feed has become pretty perfunctory, thought I'd go cold turkey and switch off the boob altogether (seemed a clearer message than trying to explain why OK last thing at night, but not first thing in morning). Trouble is I have no willpower, and he really can be persuasive. I've done one morning so far, and it was SO hard.

So help please - should I keep the 'just-before-bed' feed? And how long will the begging pleading screaming sobbing disappointed stage last? Its so hard....

Could you try a different technique? DS feeds first thing in the morning and last thing at night, but if for some reason I get up before him, he won't even think to ask for the morning feed because I'm not in bed. So if I wanted to cut that one I think it would be fairly easy to just avoid being in bed in the mornings for a few weeks.

Do you co-sleep? I found moving DS to his own room helped him start waking later. You could also explain before bed, that if he wakes up in the night he can have a cuddle (and maybe a drink of water if he can manage a sports bottle or beaker) but no milk until morning time.

Thanks both - what happens now is that when he wakes he comes in with me and then nibbles for ages .... And gosh that gets tedious! I think he'd prefer to drop the evening feed and keep the cosy morning one that drives me pretty demented as it stops me snoozing. I am pretty sure I want to stop, though if I had to keep one, I'd prefer the evening feed myself. So immediate question is do I feed him tonight or will that make it even more confusing for him when I say no again tomorrow? And if birdsofshoreandsea is right, and we end up awake and grumpy anyway, what will I be achieving? Thanks again for the input - appreciated. Surely others must have just reached the 'OK that's all folks' stage too? How did it go?

Do you have a DP who could get involved? Perhaps time for a moon/sun clock or similar? Set it to 6.30 and tell DS that if he gets up before the sun comes up, he can't have milk, but he can have some when the sun is awake. Then decide what he is allowed - will you/DH take him back to bed if he comes through before this? Is he allowed to play quietly with his toys in his room? (DS understood this at 2.5.) Is he allowed to come into your bed for a cuddle, providing he lies still and doesn't wake you up too much? (The rule for DS is that he can come into bed but if he's jumping or fidgeting around or keeps talking then he has to go to his room and play because he's too awake for us) - or you could try limiting the feeds. Let him have a short feed and then just roll over and pretend to be asleep. (This has varying success!)

I also find the morning feed irritating and tend to keep it short now. I have taken to giving DS my phone and letting him play games on it which keeps him quiet and lets me wake up more slowly not sure if this is a great thing or not!

Have you tried the extended breastfeeding thread? Lots of experienced people there. Also, La Leche League toddler groups may be worth contacting as many people will have been though it.

Thanks to all - update on how we got on : I wimped out! We are still on two feeds a day but we are now not doing night feeds so he has to wait until 630 am, which generally works but last night we had a set back because I read my mobile phone as saying 630 am when it was upside down, so it must have been midnight!!! Inbetween dozes I thought 'hmmm - this is a long half hour' and only worked it out at about 5am ! So fingers crossed that we havent reverted tonight....

Oh and as for the La Leche League and Extended BFers - generally they are rather pro carrying on and don't have much to say to those of us who are just at the 'but I really really have had enough now' - and because I wouldn't have carried on for so long if I didn't think it was a really good idea to do it, I am easily persuaded that I ought to just carry on for a bit longer!