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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Back to sleep after night feeds...any tips?

16 replies

Glimmerberry · 11/10/2011 10:17

Hello all, this is probably just something to endure but thought i'd check and see if anyone has any tips to deal with this...

My baby boy is 5 weeks, EBF from birth and has been slow to regain birthweight. He's now on track finally and almost there (8lbs). I know this means we've a long way to go before he might sleep for long periods at night. He breast feeds on demand through the day, usually every 2 hours at least for at least 30 mins if not more. Lots of poo, lots of pee. Toward evening he has a bit of a fussy spell and seems to cluster feed; from 8pm-10pm he is pretty much constantly feeding.

When i'm going to bed I give him a final feed of the night at around 11pm and put him to bed in his bednest, lie down next to him and we go to sleep. Then he can sleep for anything from 2 hours to 7 hours. Mostly around 4 hours. The problem then is that i can rarely put him back to sleep after feeding/nappy change. If it's been one of his longer sleeps obviously it's fine, but after a 2 hour sleep it's horrible. He just lies and cries. After dealing with obvious things (hunger, nappy, wind) the only thing i find to soothe him is being cuddled, but he still doesn't go back to sleep -he's actually quite alert. The next time i can settle him again is after a spell of cluster feeding between 8am and 11am.

Obviously this isn't an enormous problem as i am getting a reasonable amount of sleep across the week courtesy of the good nights and the occasional nap, but i do find it hard to stay awake cuddling him (i was more of a 10hr a night person pre baby) and i'm also worried about my husband since he needs to drive and work the next day- he refuses to go and sleep in the spare room and leave us to it.

Any ideas?

OP posts:

LittleWaveyLines · 11/10/2011 11:16

Do you need to change the nappy? I found that was what was waking up my DD so now I slather barrier cream on at the beginning of the night, and only change pooey nappies. If she stays determinely awake I just get up with her for an hour then try again....

JiltedJohnsJulie · 11/10/2011 12:28

Think you might be better off just doing the pooey nappies like Little says.

Also, have you tried feeding lying down? Does it help?

Have you tried swaddling too?

Original poster

Glimmerberry · 11/10/2011 12:40

Thanks, will try slapping on the barrier cream and leaving non leaky nappies till morning.

He is swaddled at night, i feed in bed in a fairly recumbant position with just a night light. I try to speak very little, just gentle hushed tones...Just seems that after one sleep he doesn't want another. Which is hellish if his sleep has been on the shorter side.

I can also try getting up and doing some "activity" with him for an hour, maybe he'd settle again after?

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 11/10/2011 20:14

Glimmer with my DS it was the lifting up and putting down that woke him up. If we co-slept he went straight back off.

Thought you might like a look at this link too 31 ways to get your baby to sleep and stay asleep.

WestYorkshireGirl · 11/10/2011 20:30

I second the lying down and feeding suggestion. The other thing I did was put my daughter in a sling when she would cry wildly in the night - it was possible to sleep with her in it semi-reclined! I had one of these www.kari-me.com/. I never tried taking her out when she was sleepy, but that's another idea.

TheCornishPickle · 11/10/2011 20:35

My boy has always been the same - 5mo now - and trial and error has taught me to keep things calm and dark and quiet as you have been, little talking/eye contact and cuddle him for a little while. Once the effort at 'playing' have subsided a bit I then offer another feed. He takes a small amount then falls asleep v quickly and be resettled in his cot. At this age he now like to test his voice out and is like a baby octopus to cuddle but I lie him on me and stroke his tummy till he calms down while staring at the nightlight then offer him the second feed which inevitably knocks him out very quickly.

AngelDog · 11/10/2011 20:44

My DS did this at this age - he was up for about 2 hours after every night feed. It got better with time until he went straight back off again. He didn't start feeding to sleep at night till about age 3 months IIRC.

We didn't co-sleep then, but I'd try that another time, as well as leaving the nappies (I think I changed at every waking too).

SpannerPants · 12/10/2011 04:50

My DS is like this too, unfortunately he has reflux so even if I feed lying down I then have to prop him up almost bolt upright for at least half an hour afterwards :( now he has more control over his limbs I'm getting woken up by him flinging them around - he managed to poke a finger up my nose the other day!

No suggestions just empathy I'm afraid!

Original poster

Glimmerberry · 12/10/2011 11:13

Reasonably rested this morning so thanks for all the tips!

We had a bedtime feed 10.30pm until 11.30pm, put him down and we slept till 4.30am. Brought him into bed from bednest to feed and resisted nappy change despite smell...kept him swaddled and fed in bed. Feed was short (15mins) and he was dozing on and off, enough not to continue feeding properly but not enough to be put down. I kept him with me while i read a book, he woke up again and i was able to feed him again for 20 mins. Stopped feeding but not sleepy so i kept him with me and "patted" him to sleep. After about 10 mins he looked pretty floppy. Waited another 5 mins and put him back in the bednest. This was about 5.45am and he didn't wake until 8.30am. No crying through the night at all, just some noisy rooting each time.

So a pretty good night. It helped that i felt quite calm and rested after a longish sleep initially and things might be different with a shorter first sleep but will see how things go.

OP posts:

Iggly · 12/10/2011 11:16

Why won't your DH go in the spare room? Or can you go in the spare room? I used to get stressed worrying about not disturbing DH so we moved into the spare room. Only for a few months.

Original poster

Glimmerberry · 12/10/2011 11:42

DH is very hands on. I'm on 6months maty leave, going back fulltime in Feb, DH has just started back at work and works 2.5 days and will continue with this when i go back, so anticipating being a very hands on dad he really wants to start as he means to go on...and seems to feel he'd be a huge failure if he didn't tough it out. He also seems really shocked by the prospect of sleeping separately within marriage :) . Needless to say, this is our first...

I'm working on him since we have a very comfortable spare room, it'd only need to be a few nights here and there given that he works PT, and since he's a very new driver I really worry about him driving tired.

(I also think DS sleeps better when DH isn't around since DH can't seem to help himself reacting to every squeak and gurgle).

OP posts:

JiltedJohnsJulie · 12/10/2011 13:13

Think you might need to work on DH then as well as DS sorry. Could you try to convince him that the best way to support you and DS is to be well rested and then he can have DS for you at other times when you want to catch up on your sleep?

Know what you mean about sleeping separately in marriage but my DH works full time and just couldn't function properly with the night wakings. He took himself off to the spare room, slept all night and then got up with the DC while I had a lie-in. It worked really well for us.

I used to pat DD to sleep sometimes too, did it after reading this book. Loved the book and DD was very chilled. Only wish I'd read it before having DS. Perhaps you could get DH to read it

Glad you've had a better night

Original poster

Glimmerberry · 12/10/2011 21:20

Thanks Jilted. I've ordered that book from amazon, looks like just the kind of thing i need. Working on OH too!

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hillyhilly · 12/10/2011 21:27

I'd suggest two things:
Your dh accepts sleeping in spare room for a short while
Make sure you take him out plenty during the day so that he gets to grips with day and night

mummycow · 12/10/2011 21:39

Hey Glimmerberry, glad that you had a good night and caught up on some sleep the other day. I went through a similar phase with my DD that I thought would never end! She would fall asleep on me after a feed and then the second she got anywhere near her moses basket she'd suddenly wake up and scream blue murder. I found it started to get a lot easier when she hit the 6 week mark and her sleep became a lot more regular from night to night.

What used to help us was taking a hot water bottle to bed and putting it in her basket while she fed, so that when I put her back into it it'd be nice and warm and comfortable for her.

Just hang in there for a couple more weeks and you'll see that it all settles down as your baby can go longer between feeds during the night and also as your baby gets used to being outside of the womb and not so put out when the feed is over and it's time to sleep again!
Hope that helps.

Original poster

Glimmerberry · 26/10/2011 16:34

Just to update (and bump for crazyalien06) night time is going really well. Past few nights he has slept thru or woken for 45 mins before going back down. I followed some of the tips from the babycalming book and 31 ways...

Bathed and fed at 7-8pm...has a sleep
Changed and swaddled at 10.30ish, feed until he drops off again
Into cot, if he does wake I pat him to sleep (while falling asleep myself as he's next to me in bedside cot), usually asleep straight away or 5-10mins
If he wakes for a feed through the night i put on a very dim nightlight, keep him swaddled, no nappy change unless clearly soiled thru, i keep very quite and feed him with very little excitement/interaction. If he doesn't drop back off and is done feeding I put him on my lap, on his tummy and pat him to sleep again before putting him down. TBH once this worked 2-3 times he just started sleeping thru, i think he gave up on night time feeds as being quite unexciting.

Thanks all.

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