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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

being pressured to stop at 21 months

45 replies

Yummies · 05/10/2011 23:19

dd3 is 21 months, she is still bf on demand and I intend to continue to do so until SHE decides to stop but most people around me now think I've taken it too far. They are totally freaked out by the fact that my daughter can ask for milk and help herself. They also think it's really disgusting that she insists on having her hand down my bra on the other side the whole time. I don't have a problem at all, am I being weird?

OP posts:

startail · 10/10/2011 00:21

Whispers she was 9 and absolutely her choice to carry on as long as she did.
I haven't offered since she was about 4 just not said no. Always supposed she'd stop. She would for a few days, but then would start again. Had an absolute sixth sense for ensuring there was still something there.
Why she carried on so I don't know, since she is every way very grown up for her years and more the teenager at 10 than her 13 year old sister will ever be. She is however, the pessimist of the house hold, the one who understands that the world isn't always nice. Lots of divorces in her class etc. So perhaps it made her feel safe. Mostly I suspect it's simply because she was very good at BF and big sister wasn't.

startail · 10/10/2011 00:34

Oh I had a couple of friends who carried on till 5+. One stopped officially because she had another child, although I think a bit of sneaking the odd bit carried on. Then other got totally fed up with DD co sleeping and being a pain at night.
Letting parents get some sleep was something else DD2 instinctively understood or she certainly wouldn't have feed anything like as long.
And no I didn't spend 9 years in BF bras and not drinking, but I don't drink much anyway.

BaronessBatsblood · 10/10/2011 00:41

sunnyday123 You won't stay around for the flaming, or won't stay around to be corrected?

I can absolutely assure you that I personally derive no benefit whatsoever from BF my 19 month old! I can't wear a dress, can't shift the weight, and can only buy non-wired hideous over-priced bras that make my norks look saggy.

Oh hang on, there are the reduced risks of certain cancers and osteoporosis.....yeah, I must be doing it for that then.

I'll let someone else debunk the rest of the bollocks as I'm too tired and am going to bed.

BaronessBatsblood · 10/10/2011 00:44

startail That's good news about the BF bras then! I think DS is in this for the long term too. please not 9 years

TheSecondComing · 10/10/2011 00:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreenMonkies · 10/10/2011 01:06

Just get one of these and smile cheerily as you tick them off. I take my hat off to you for not minding the twiddling, it drives me mad, my 5 year old still tries, especially during her early morning nursing session. I also suggest manners need improving, both for your rels to shut up and mind their own, and for your DD who needs to learn to ask, and not just help herself!!

EauRouge · 10/10/2011 09:00

sunnyday123, this isn't AIBU so I'll be nice

"The WHO 2 year recommendations were only really meant for developing countries where diet is restricted."

No, it isn't - "As a global public health recommendation, infants should be exclusively breastfed(1) for the first six months of life to achieve optimal growth, development and health(2). Thereafter, to meet their evolving nutritional requirements, infants should receive nutritionally adequate and safe complementary foods while breastfeeding continues for up to two years of age or beyond." from this page.

"Last year (i think) there was a show about extended bf and the expert view was that over 12 months, bf offered no extra nutritional value."

Can you remember the name of the show and the 'expert'? There are lots of health benefits to BF past 12 months, you can read about them here.

tiktok · 10/10/2011 09:21

sunnday - as Eaurouge says, you have got this wrong.

You misunderstand about the 'vitamin requirements' - of course breastmilk does not meet the vitamin requirements (and a whole load of other requirements) of older children. But breastmilk is not the sole diet of anyone over about 6 mths old! Many good foods and drinks don't meet the 'vitamin requirements' of older children - they contribute to their overall nutrition :)

Bit shocking that you quote WHO with such an authoritative air, without even knowing that these are global recommendations.

Here's a tip:

'Global' = worldwide = every country = UK as well.

Just so you're clear now :)

mawbroon · 10/10/2011 13:29

startail, thanks for that I really believe that they know best about when it's time to wean.

I have posted on other threads about ds1 and his gastric problems. Looking back, seems likely that he's been having trouble with his stomach since he was born which would completely explain his reluctance to wean. He says that nursing really makes it feel better. I'm glad I didn't listen to the people who bash self weaning.

Greenmonkies, I love those bf bingo mugs!!

BaronessBatsblood · 10/10/2011 14:06

Another one here who fancies a BF bingo mug!

BertieBotts · 10/10/2011 14:20

I agree that LLL seems to be where all the extended BFers hang out! Our group started about a year and a half ago, and DS is now the oldest nursling there at just turned 3. People quite often come up to me during the group and say how lovely it is that he is still feeding - when it started up, he was only around 18 months, but at least 3 or 4 other people in the group told me that when I was feeding him there then, it was the first time they'd ever seen an "older" child being fed. Now their children are all older than that age and there are so many of us there it just seems really normal!

I was actually really touched the other day. DS was getting really het up about something and being a real nightmare, pulling at my legs, banging cupboard doors etc. I was cooking and couldn't leave the food, and kept asking him to wait, but he got more and more upset until he started crying for milk (a true last resort these days) - and then suddenly remembered he had some cow's milk in the other room, so took himself off, drank what was left of his cup and came back in totally calm and willing to discuss the issue. !!!!! He is three remember! I am convinced it was the link with breastfeeding usually calming him down = he thought as he associated this milk with my milk and my milk wasn't available, he would take care of it himself. I told him I thought that was a brilliant way to deal with his angry feelings, we both apologised for getting cross and then we made friends again. Getting a bit teary about it now

organiccarrotcake · 10/10/2011 16:03

sunnyday123 "Expert view"? No expert, sorry. If they were they'd know the reasons why mums and babies EBF. Believe me, it's not for the mums (except for the fact that it has a strong protective effect against some cancers).

Sorry you're not sticking around. Seems daft to write something you presumably believe to be correct which goes against the theme of the thread, and not stay around to follow it up/learn something.

startail Good on you :)

I have a breastfeeding bingo mug, and a mummy milk is better than milk from any old cow - and care instructions, too (Handwash Only - Love Unconditionally - Breastfeed as Required). DS2 has the last two of these as a tee as well, and I keep a stash of the bingo postcards as note cards.

Midori1999 · 10/10/2011 16:23

Organiccarrotcake, do you mind me asking where you got you ''mummy milk is better than milk from any old cow' mug? I've seen t-shirts, but not really into slogan tees, would love a mug though.

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh · 10/10/2011 18:22

love this thread!

(apart from the one wierdo )

WoTmania · 10/10/2011 18:25

range of mugs for midori

startail · 10/10/2011 22:52

I like the mug especially as DD2 and DH won't drink cows milk
That is the only downside of DD2 feeding so long, she thinks all drinks must be sweet (I get the feeling breast milk is). She won't drink cows milk (except with milkshake syrup) and won't touch water. The latter is very annoying especially as the head is on the war path about squash in school bottles. She loves Coke thank you DH, for introducing her.

WoTmania · 10/10/2011 23:09

BM very sweet

Pseudo341 · 11/10/2011 15:17

My usual instict to dealing with critisim like this is to say "fuck off" but I guess a 21 month old shouldn't be hearing you say that, just plain old "mind your own business" will have to do instead. Seriously, it's none of anyone elses business how long you breastfeed your child for and you have every right to tell them so, very bluntly if necessary. Have a few sharp comebacks at the ready for such situations. If you're expected to have a thick skin then the people making the comments should learn to have a thick skin too, they shouldn't give it out if they can't take it.

Tabitha8 · 11/10/2011 16:13

I probably used to think that BF a toddler was a little odd until DS turned into one.
Baronness interesting you say you can't shift the weight. With me, I'm sure it's the only thing keeping the weight off.
Love those bingo mugs. Oh, I must get one.
Actually, all the critical comments stopped when DS hit two. He's nearly 2 and a half now.

nickelbabe · 11/10/2011 16:37

I was reading somewhere the other day (link to a website from a friend, will try to find it in a mo), that formula is full of sugars, anyway.
the information about a year ago to which sunnyday was referring wasn't that debacle of CBC on Lorraine Kelly was it?
where she went on about it having no nutritional value, and it being bad for their teeth?
that's why I thought about the sugars link.
here

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